Punishments

No true sub would feel anything but utter failure and sadness having done something that displeased their D/ to the point they’ve earned a punishment. Perhaps then we can assume we all feel that, and start from there?
I think ( and I’m just looking back here) that knowing I had earned a punishment, and no matter how much I regretted my actions- no matter how many genuine tears fell as a result of hurting my Sir, Daddy what have you( and also this ‘hurt’ could very well be something that at first glance doesn’t seem punishment worthy, like continuing to forget what may seem like a small rule in the grand of scheme of things. I’m saying that it needn’t be a huge, dramatic, rage-invoking infraction) Knowing that aside from my regret, and immediate recognition of the issue, resolution to do better etc- I WAS STILL GOING TO BE PUNISHED- bc before the feelings I just described- I DID do something that violated rules and boundaries Wwe have in place, absolutely brought more serious attention to the situation, and imo a higher likelihood of resolution going forward. ( being truly sorry and remorseful is great- getting to the bottom of why it happened at all is better, and a punishment could and for me has often led to a level of emotion being felt where I could figure it out with the help of my ____, and no I’m not sure I would have otherwise discovered the why- it’s not always this way, but it can be very intense!
I think if I was with a Dominant who broke when they saw how upset I was bc I had upset them and changed their mind about going through with whatever prescribed punishment was on the table- this would be the beginning of the end. No matter how ‘light’ or how ‘heavy’ a punishment may be, it certainly marks( no pun intended) the occasion. It re-establishes the power dynamic in your relationship. No matter what your own particular power dynamic looks like- because it could appear that any couple you come across doesnt deal with power exchange at all, but I assure you it’s there. BDSM is not about the pain that feels like pleasure in your bedroom. You could very well have a Dom that you never have good old fashioned intercourse with, but you’ll never have one ( assuming they’re not full of shit) that doesn’t create a power exchange with you- which is something the two (?) of you have discussed and both of you are comfortable with and that leads to discussing rules and boundaries which leads to discussing discipline. You have a choice of course to walk away at any time.
To wrap this up bc getting to my point is taking way longer than I intended: the punishment’resets’ the boundaries and marks the occasion so it’s not forgotten. I’m not going to get into funishment bc it’s really apples and oranges. That said- if you feel like the process is not something you want to welcome into your life- it may just be you don’t embrace a true kink connection via a D/s relationship but you do enjoy what sounds like mild kink play during sex. Nothing wrong with that. I’m hoping a Dom/Domme pops in to explain the importance of a punishment in their eyes as well.