Are doms always tops??? ⬆ (and subs bottoms) ⬇

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}

3 years ago • May 18, 2022

► Byrdie wrote:

Given that I have dietary restrictions that would cause illness if my requests aren't properly given to the cooking staff, yes, kinda. I've also heard horror stories about what happens in a restaurant kitchen if a customer is less than polite to the staff. eek.

We clearly have different perceptions of what constitutes a dominant bottoming to a sub. I can't even relate to your saying that a wait-person has control of your restaurant experience. You're paying for the food and the service both and you're within your rights to expect quality and safety rather than feeling as though you need to express obsequious gratitude that no one poisons you. ?

The same goes for any service a dominant might receive from their submissive - as far as I see it at least. Receiving fairly common and expected services from a submissive doesn't equal bottoming - not in Mr. Parker's eyes or my own that is. Nevertheless, it's interesting to hear other view points.

Zelia

3 years ago • May 18, 2022

► Byrdie wrote:

► Spellbound Wytch wrote:

Do you consider a customer at a restaurant (for instance) as being the receptive party who has relinquished control to the wait-person? ??

Given that I have dietary restrictions that would cause illness if my requests aren't properly given to the cooking staff, yes, kinda.

I've also heard horror stories about what happens in a restaurant kitchen if a customer is less than polite to the staff. eek.

► JustAlice wrote:

A Dom who is deep throating a sub with His cock choking her, while her teeth around it is not bottoming at all.

Which is also not a scenario I suggested: I said the dominant - of whatever gender - was laying back and relaxing.

I'm not saying that a Dominant always bottoms and that a Submissive always tops, I'm saying that it can happen, and perhaps more often than people think.

I understand, it’s such a long time since I’ve simply sucked a cock, it’s generally half way down my throat. That said I can imagine that even if I were giving relaxed pleasure I’d be punished for any misdemeanour with my teeth.

I think everyone here has very different understandings of the terms Top, bottom, sub and Dom.

Heero(dom male)

3 years ago • May 18, 2022

► JustAlice wrote:

I think everyone here has very different understandings of the terms Top, bottom, sub and Dom.

It would seem so! We need to get our definitions straight. Sure there can be variations, but I don't think this is the kind haha. I feel like we're a hair's breath away from "well, sometimes left can mean right, I've seen some people use it that way" territory.

I can hear the retort: well, YOUR right can be MY left, so who's to say? ?

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}

3 years ago • May 18, 2022

► Heero wrote:

We need to get our definitions straight.?

Semantics are a funny thing - and I don't mean "funny" as in humorous. Definitions aren't (reasonably speaking) as flexible as some people like to pretend. In my world, words matter - very much so and as such the definitions assigned to those words are a huge deal. We need some kind of universal language simply for the purpose of being on the same page despite the current trend being everyone getting to make up their own meanings as they go along - to suit their own ends and placate their own desires (which they call mistakenly call needs).

Heero(dom male)

3 years ago • May 18, 2022

► Spellbound Wytch wrote:

► Heero wrote:

We need to get our definitions straight.?

I wasn't talking about variations in the meanings of words, just in general. We're on the same page when it comes to the whole words have meanings idea.

As a teacher, I was definitely that guy who when a student would say, "come on, you know what I meant", I'd be like "that's not what you wrote, say what you mean."

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}

3 years ago • May 18, 2022

► JustAlice wrote:

It’s such a long time since I’ve simply sucked a cock, it’s generally half way down my throat. That said I can imagine that even if I were giving relaxed pleasure I’d be punished for any misdemeanor with my teeth.

I love hearing about your strict dynamic despite not being willing to engage in a similar one for myself - not for more than the length of an individual scene at least. I do wonder though - do you ever miss the easy going, relaxed and humor filled spontaneity that some of us need in order to thrive? I feel like a wuss compared to some of those I read about here.

Zelia

3 years ago • May 18, 2022

► Spellbound Wytch wrote:

► JustAlice wrote:

No we have lots of that too. I think we’ve evolved more in that direction in the last couple of years, definitely the last year. Prior to that I would say that we were very set, rigid, protocol focused. I prefer how things are now but even with that at times I like to fall back into His firmer hands. I enjoy feeling my place and being reminded of what’s important to us.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}

3 years ago • May 18, 2022

► Heero wrote:

I wasn't talking about variations in the meanings of words, just in general. We're on the same page when it comes to the whole words have meanings idea.

As a journalist, I could not agree more that language, words and easily understood and commonly shared definitions are the very foundations of human communication. But you still managed to confound me. If you're not talking about the actual meanings and definitions of words that all of us can agree on and understand what was your point in saying "we need to get our definitions straight?"

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}

3 years ago • May 18, 2022

► JustAlice wrote:

I think we’ve evolved more in that direction in the last couple of years, definitely the last year. Prior to that I would say that we were very set, rigid, protocol focused. I prefer how things are now but even with that at times I like to fall back into His firmer hands. I enjoy feeling my place and being reminded of what’s important to us.

I admire those who thrive under demanding, stringent and impersonal protocols and I definitely feel "less than" (submissive) when I hear of someone who incorporates all of this into their own dynamic as an every day practice and is grateful for having done so. I'm so happy for you having found what you most desire and wish you nothing but happiness as your relationship moves forward. ?

Heero(dom male)

3 years ago • May 18, 2022

► Spellbound Wytch wrote:

► Heero wrote:

I wasn't talking about variations in the meanings of words, just in general. We're on the same page when it comes to the whole words have meanings idea.

JustAlice made a comment about us having different definitions. So I said we should get our definitions straight, as in agree what we're talking about when we say the words being discussed here.

My comment was on variations in general, not with word meanings, hence my comment "I don't think this is the kind [of variation we want]"

Apologies: for sure I left that participle dangling. I figured my previous messages would establish my stance on meaning.