Your take of a Submissive????

Your take of a Submissive????

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} • Dec 10, 2018

There are many forms, titles expectations, right?

I would LOVE to hear everyone's
opinion on this: Dom/mes subs/slaves, tops/bottoms switches and everything in between....

I was told tonight that I am NOT a submissive, that I should NOT call myself one, because NO submissive would EVER post a blog (which was a saying and picture) that said..

The Devil whispered in my ear "You're not strong enough to withstand the storm"
Today, I whispered in the Devil's ear " I am the the storm"

So, again, apparently posting such a thing makes me NOT submissive??????

Again, opinions needed of all sorts!!!

Thanks,
From a,
Questioning (in all ways) "submissive" who talks to the devil!!!!!

Freya369 • Dec 10, 2018

Don't let anyone tell you who and what you are!

It is your job...our job ...to find out those things...so go find out...safely..read, education, therapy...yep..it's good in some ways...
Investigation, listening, more reading, pondering, alone time, thinking, meditation, education, ...ad nausea!

You get the picture....any one worth their "salt" is doing all this and more!

Best to you F

Irezumi​(sub female) • Dec 10, 2018

I can only speak for myself.....so here goes.

I'm submissive to ONE. I gave Him my submission. I'm a rather dominant personality at the best of times, and a real control freak. Does that make NOT a submissive? Um....NO. It doesn't. It makes me a human being who values handing the control over to the one person who earned it. That, in my eyes, is what it's all about. Being strong, outgoing, outspoken and owning ones own demons doesn't make one any less of a submissive - in fact, I think it makes us even more so in many ways.

Just because you have submissive tendencies, save them for the person who has earned the right to them. You don't have to be submissive to everyone who identifies as Dominant. And a Dominant is only truly Dominant when they have a submissive, imho.

We ALL have traits that can 'label' us as something we may not be. I hate labels, btw.

What you say, what you post, all speak for who you are as a PERSON, not who you are in the spectrum of Lifestyle.

Just my two cents.

Pumpkin29​(sub female){MrWhite} • Dec 10, 2018

I'm going to be way less eloquent than the other posters, as this is a big pet peeve of mine.

"If you do or don't do X, you're not a submissive. "

That is, quite frankly, utter bullshit. No one gets to define your submission but YOU. Submission is between you and your partner, and you could post a multicoloured meme that says "I am not a submissive" and it could mean nothing more than you thought the colours were pretty. Submission isn't a box to fit inside, it's a spectrum. It's a sliding scale and your position on it can move from one day to the next, from one second to the next. And that's nobody's business but you and your partners.

AT BEST anyone outside of your relationship can say you don't seem like a good fit for what they're looking for in a submissive. But to tell you what you are or are not? No way. Don't give anyone that power over you.

Hawkeye • Dec 10, 2018

Well I’m here and have yet to hear anyone define submissive. Just to save time your opinions are of no interest. We del in facts not opinions or feelings. So far nothing but nonsense. What else do you have?

MasterBear​(other butch) • Dec 10, 2018

Fuck everyone who tries to label you for their comfort .


You are who you choose to be.

Hawkeye • Dec 10, 2018

@masterbear
Totally agreed.
I believe the issue here is people labeling themselves something that they are not. Nothing to do with someone else labeling them

Hawkeye agreed with

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} • Dec 10, 2018

Yet, HE, Hawkeye is the one to tell ME I am NOT submissive and should take the label "title" from my name!!!

Irezumi​(sub female) • Dec 10, 2018

With all due respect, who is to say a person isn't who they identify themselves as? Only an individual can decide who they are, where they fall on the spectrum. I dislike labels, as I've stated, yet I use one because in the community, it helps identify the perspective I have in the Lifestyle. Much like stating I'm a female.

Pumpkin29​(sub female){MrWhite} • Dec 10, 2018

In this context, I'd offer that a submissive is someone who willingly and consensually gives over a pre-negotiated amount of control to another person. What type of control is between the individuals involved.

I suspect you'll tell me that this is MY definition of a submissive, and you're absolutely right. It's my interpretation of the definitions I've read and information from the people I've spoken to. I'm always open to hearing other definitions.

I have yet to find a single source that lays out minimum requirements to be considered submissive. If anyone has seen something to that effect, I'd be happy to read that, too.