Subspace to Sub-drop

Subspace to Sub-drop

KittySunflower​(sub female) • Dec 10, 2018

Has anyone experienced Sub-drop? How do you get through it? Especially if you're left on edge.

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} • Dec 10, 2018

Oh Kitty949... oh I feel your pain...First of all, was this online play? Was the intent for you to edge?

KittySunflower​(sub female) • Dec 10, 2018

Yes that was the intent. Yes not irl.

Misosoup​(dom male) • Dec 10, 2018

I only play with my sub online and when we first started playing I asked her to buy a teddy to represent me. She uses it when we finish playing and starts feeling like heading towards sub drop. She tells me that it helps her having a physical represenation of her Sir.
But, most importantly, she has a Master / friend in real life that she checks in with if she starts feeling lost. Through my play with her I learned that in the online play it is very important for the sub to have a real life person that she can turn to. I don't think I would be able to push her this far if I was not sure she had a way of checking in with someone.
Plus, she is an experienced sub and recognises when she may be heading towards the drop.

KittySunflower​(sub female) • Dec 10, 2018

@Misosoup​. Thanks. This is like my 3rd time experiencing this and having the most trouble this time around.
I like your idea of a comfort toy.

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} • Dec 10, 2018

Ok, well, first of all, your "play" partner SHOULD be checking in on you, making sure you are ok, and giving you that "mental" ease and comfort. They should also be telling you to:
drink juice (sugar is your best friend)
Eat sweets (again sugar is your friend lol)
Rest, relax in your comfiest of comfy PJs (if possible right after, if not as soon as you can)
Warm blanket, happy movies/happyusic!

This is what I can suggest online....

What I worry about is that your "play" partner is not doing this and checking in with you and ensuring you are ok!!!!

Please, play safe! Demand, before play, Aftercare!!!!!

I hope you get through this!!! *Hugs* ❤️

KittySunflower​(sub female) • Dec 10, 2018

Took hours but lovely people in the chat tonight got me through. I'll keep the advice for next time. Thanks so much Morley. Just learning about all this. Never had the experience with the after shock depression this badly before. I think it's cause I'm left on edge it's a lot different.
*Hugs*

Christina052500{No} • Dec 10, 2018

the way it should be

Bunnie • Dec 10, 2018

@Kitty949, my suggestion would be to share this with your Dom. As Morley said, I’m also a bit concerned that you’re being left feeling like this.
I also agree about the sugar... that’s a good quick fix... and then perhaps some protein as a longer, slower release of sustenance.
I would also recommend steering clear of drugs and alcohol, and just drinking plenty of water.
Feel whatever you need to feel. I’d suggest writing about it if you can (private journal/blog... whatever works for you). I find for myself, it helps me sort my head out.
Find things that bring you comfort... a snuggly toy or a fluffy blanket or music. Everyone’s comfort kit is different, just experiment with things until you find what works.
However, definitely keep that line of communication open with your Dom... and remember also, there are plenty of people here who love to step up and be a support network... utilise them

dollMaker​(dom male) • Dec 10, 2018

Well said, if said person is not doing this then frankly they dont deserve you, either as a play partner or sub. If time can not be found for aftercare, to check in after and look after the person played with, then either they havent got a clue how to do this, or they just dont care, but either way play should not be happening, in the light of what you have said.

I am glad people here were able to help, but the responsibility lies with the top, dom, and not others to look after you. By saying that I am not saying that its not good to talk with others and have sub friends who can be extra support, but the main responsibility here is the person taking you where you are going, and its not good enough to take you there emotionally, physically, drop you, and vanish afterwards, until they want to come back for more play. Frankly thats called using, and what we do should not be about using people as kink dispensers.

Savida and I do after scene reports, which help us both talk through how the scene went, any issues and how to resolve them. Its a part of our growing and learning about each other and now forms part of the after care process we have brought into what we do.