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More than One

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Dartman25​(switch male){?}
7 months ago • Thu 27 Dec 2018 02:47:09 AM IST

More than one person

Dartman25​(switch male){?} • Thu 27 Dec 2018 02:47:09 AM IST
Tnjoker wrote:
Well I am just going to throw this out there because that is what I do. But how does online/rl play in to this? Or does it even matter? I'm just asking. As far as the responses that have been given, there has been a lot of different insights given and all very informative.
Elcid1323​(neither male)
7 months ago • Wed 26 Dec 2018 05:47:01 PM IST

Her me Her

Elcid1323​(neither male) • Wed 26 Dec 2018 05:47:01 PM IST
This is something I have been wanting to get into :meaning two dominant women, as I am a submissive guy and I am very new to the scene. I've known about it but have not thrown myself into the mix, but I'm at that point where I am seeking and learning. this is one experience I want to do. In my case I prefer a closed Triad relationship where both women run the show.
Tnjoker​(dom male){My Harley}
7 months ago • Sat 22 Dec 2018 07:19:53 PM IST
Tnjoker​(dom male){My Harley} • Sat 22 Dec 2018 07:19:53 PM IST
Well I am just going to throw this out there because that is what I do. But how does online/rl play in to this? Or does it even matter? I'm just asking. As far as the responses that have been given, there has been a lot of different insights given and all very informative.
SirHanz​(dom male){Minx}
7 months ago • Sat 22 Dec 2018 04:20:20 PM IST
SirHanz​(dom male){Minx} • Sat 22 Dec 2018 04:20:20 PM IST
One aspect I have not seen in this thread yet is that being dominant often brings out feelings of possessiveness. If a sub submits to another dom it diminishes the control of the first. I can't think of any dom that wants that.
DBH
DBH
7 months ago • Fri 21 Dec 2018 11:01:56 PM IST
DBH • Fri 21 Dec 2018 11:01:56 PM IST
I think like any relationship it’s communicating and intention. I’ve had partners where I was not the only Dom. As long as we were reasonably aligned it wasn’t an issue and where the rare issue came up we as the Doms talked it over and made decisions. Also you there’s nothing saying you can’t sub for one and only bottom for others. As long as all agreeand are fed by the relationship structure they choose you can make it what ever you want. There is no “ one true way” and be very wary of anyone who insists there is. My .02.
SirZozo​(dom male){Own Discov}
7 months ago • Fri 21 Dec 2018 10:32:30 PM IST

Re: More than One

SirZozo​(dom male){Own Discov} • Fri 21 Dec 2018 10:32:30 PM IST
[quote="Fate"]I’ve been hesitant to ask this question because I feel like I’m going to get harsh responses from those who misunderstand my intent behind the query. So, please, don’t hear what I am not saying. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. No hidden agenda.

I’m not at all being rebellious here or in any way trying to evoke a scorned sub uprising. Lol. I’m just very new and thus unaware of some of the rationales behind certain rules (albeit unspoken ) surrounding the lifestyle.

And actually, rules is not the right word, but I’m concussed right now and cannot think of the proper one. Bents, maybe?

Anyway, my question is this:


~*~*~*~Why is it okay for Doms to have more than one sub, but not okay for subs to have more than one Dom?~*~*~*~


This is an honest question.

Am I misunderstanding that the above seems to be true/the case?

I’m genuinely curious. I’m not being obstinate at all against the way things work. I just really want and, because double-standards are a huge 50caliber negative trigger for me, I really need to know legitimate answers to this question. No vitriol please.

Thoughts?

Yes for one the role Dom can be played by Male or female. So gender is completely out . I also think that for a Sub to give her/him self to more than one would create an issue between Doms should they both require the same block of time . Serving one Dom should be more than enough but Doms liked to be served by more than one sub . Just as there can only be one King . And when there are more than one, WAR breaks out. So I think it is along the same lines . And keep in mind. In our beautiful BDSM world all things are negotiable and agreed on before we start or should be . As long as we are all on the same page we can all find the right Dom or sub and enjoy our wanted roles .
Devils damsel​(sub female){HandsomeDe}
8 months ago • Sun 09 Dec 2018 05:02:54 PM IST
Devils damsel​(sub female){HandsomeDe} • Sun 09 Dec 2018 05:02:54 PM IST
I personally have a number of Doms that I talk to on a regular basis. They all bring something unique to the table. They have uncovered facets about myself that are handled in different ways. Each one of them has helped me to explore these different parts of myself.

That being said, while I will do tasks for some of them, none of them own me. I do not belong specifically, nor have I completely given my submission to any of them. If and when I do this, depending on what that ONE says, communications with the others will be pulled back to a respectful distance.

As of right now dd is a free sub, and I can speak with whomever I wish. However, once my submission is given, well, in my eyes that ties and binds me to that ONE. I don’t know how I would be able to balance having two or more actual Doms. What if one says “orgasm denial, orgasm denial, orgasm denial”, and the other says “orgasm daily, orgasm daily, orgasm daily”? Who do you choose to obey? And that’s just a drop in the bucket considering the amount of conflict that could arise there. That’s too much work for me lol.

The most important thing is honesty. A sub shouldn’t have “secret” Doms, or side Doms...the same way the Dom shouldn’t have secret, or side subs. All parties need to talk it out and be in agreement. Poly is not for everyone, trust me. For some it works just fine, for others it just plain hurts.
SevenSeven
8 months ago • Sat 08 Dec 2018 08:07:13 AM IST
SevenSeven • Sat 08 Dec 2018 08:07:13 AM IST
MasterBear wrote:
...subs can have as many D types as they want.


Totally agree.
JaimeJade​(sub female){BaronJ}
8 months ago • Sat 08 Dec 2018 04:35:59 AM IST
JaimeJade​(sub female){BaronJ} • Sat 08 Dec 2018 04:35:59 AM IST
I’ve found most people on here to be very helpful and non judgemental - I mean being who we are it would be highly hypercritical of us if we were judgemental... I believe we are all in this together, figuring out who we are, why we are different from the ‘norm’ or ‘vanilla’ community and also what makes us different. There’s always room to learn more even the most experienced are still learning... and then the most experienced should be willing to help others who are finding their true selves x
Fate{Cobra}
8 months ago • Sat 08 Dec 2018 04:19:43 AM IST
Fate{Cobra} • Sat 08 Dec 2018 04:19:43 AM IST
And for the record, I do not personally want more than one Dom. I am like Mono on steroids. Lol.

I was just curious in general, but it seems like from many of these responses that there may not be a double standard where I assumed there to be surrounding this aspect of D/s.

All of your answers were insightful and interesting to me. Thank you guys!

Also, I’ve not had a bad experience with asking questions here on Cage. Everyone has been extraordinarily helpful and encouraging.

Faters