Young and Old When is it acceptable.

Young and Old When is it acceptable.

Toygun​(other male) • Feb 23, 2019

Problem!
Older male slave in a younger community! When does age not become an issue?
How does an older slave get a Mistress without everybody saying there is too big
of an age difference. What is expectable? A 50 year old with a 70 year old? Or a
70 year old with a 40 year old? If 21 is considered an adult shouldn't they have
the right to be with any age person.
In a kink community how can people be judgmental or prejudice about age
differences? When anything should be alright between two connecting adults.

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Feb 23, 2019

Much like nilla life people have opinions.
And that's thier right.
If you are being discriminated against because you and your Mistress have an age gap that is another thing entirely.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 23, 2019

I think the OP raises some good points about age discrimination in the BDSM community.


For a community that actively seeks out partners that complement our identities, how is it that age is still a huge issue.

A 50 y/o D type with a 20 y/o s type is looked at completely differently then a 20y/o D type with a 50 y/o s type.

Why do we still get hung up over this?

I think it's a relevant issue.

Miki​(masochist female) • Feb 23, 2019

I would take a "whatever the market will bear" philosophy here. If a 50 can find a 20 willing to have a BDSM (or any for that matter) relationship then have at it. If not, well, then the gap's too big.

In the end it depends completely upon the comfort level of each party.

As for public reaction a 50/20 deal has the younger being cast as a gold digger and/or the older as a raider of the lost cradle and/or a "cougar".

Opinions are like insects.. Everywhere but not often useful. It'll boil down once again to the comfort level. if the 50/20 (or 70/20 for that matter) are fine with what they have going on between them then to hell with the crowd.

Of course this does not rule out if either party has a crap ton of cash, fabulous house and so-forth, then the gold digger angle is not out of the question. Ditto if the 20 is either really hot or insanely virile.. But if the "20" don't mind then go for it.

It's all about the satisfaction.

Of course as always, choose wisely, make sure you really know who you think you know-- else you (rhet) might wake up one morning disappointed and relieved of any fine jewelry or artwork you may have had. There are barf-bags everywhere.

Caveat Emptor you know.

Miss Magdalena​(sub female){FreeSpirit} • Feb 23, 2019

I think people associate age with wisdom and maturity. It’s incredibly difficult not to do. Every older person is some kind of Merlin in a person’s mind. Seeing someone of considerable age being submissive to someone considerably younger, feels off to some, probably because they equate age with both knowledge and with power.

Even though someone is apart of a community that requires some level of open thinking, it doesn’t mean those people are going to be receptive and open to everything. There is no such thing as blanket acceptance in any community. If there is, please point me in the direction of one, because I would love to be apart of that. I mean that sincerely.

I also think age is an issue because for many, it’s hard to see it as something long term for most. That isn’t to say that it couldn’t be, it just doesn’t seem likely given the difference in maturity and what appeals to the age demographic. That being said, I also think people get hung up on the whole, must find “the one”. Not every relationships is meant to be that way, hell it’s fair to say most won’t be and for a variety of different reasons. People put way to much expectation on both themselves and others, and it creates scenarios like these.

Those are just a couple of examples of “why” people get hung up, I’m sure there are dozens more.

Miki​(masochist female) • Feb 23, 2019

I should have mentioned that previously. My whole blah operated under the assumption that these old/young arrangements are all short term in nature, where 'short" is a matter of perception.

Once again it's about what works for each and soon enough, at various ages over 50 some things don't work the way they used to and later stop working entirely ----and for either party, novelty has a way of wearing off.

This is actually the case with almost all relationships, save for the handful we read about from time to time where a couple just marked their 75th anniversary-- but those are the couples who rolled with life's punches, and above all, learned and accepted that relationships metamorphose. Those who dream of a life-long primrose path are the ones who have a rough go of it. Other still simply aren't wired to be with the same partner for years and years until the reaper comes a-callin'.

* * * * *

As for "acceptance" It's a given you'll get some stares, wagging heads, whispers-- the trick is how much do they matter vis-a-vis the relationship?

Remember, there was a time when men wore business suits to baseball games. By and by that went away, and those who pioneered the 'casual attendee" attire ignored the scowls and mumbles and now they run the show.


Now for some brave dudes to start wearing business suits to ball games again. The circle is endless.

Loulou​(sub female) • Feb 23, 2019

I think it depends on lots of factors. I had a Younger Dom and in theory it was acceptable. I wasn’t worried about public perception of us .
However in terms of the future that was what got my tail in a spin . What about 5 years on , 10 years on ?
My families feelings ? ( this was the biggest influence I guess and the cause of the internal conflict within me )
I would not judge anyone in their relationships as long as all parties are in consent and happy.
At the end of the day it comes down to when you are laid each other’s arms after the play in how comfortable you are and living day to day .

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 23, 2019

This is really interesting.

A consistent thought here is that May/December relationships won't last.


Our third is 20+ years older then us- going on 9 years now.

I dont think that age gap relationships are any more or less successful then any other type of relationship.


Maybe this public consensus of sustainability leads to bias?