On the subject of safewords & punishments

dollMaker​(dom male) • Jun 1, 2019

'I know people in Master / slave relationships that have a safe word for their relationship. If that safe word is used their relationship is terminated on the spot.'

I am troubled by that arrangement on a number of levels. Firstly would that person use that safe word knowing that their relationship will end if they need to use it? I think not, I suspect they will suffer in silence rather than end what except for that one occasion is too much for them to bear. That is not healthy, or reasonable in my view, because a great relationship bar one occasion where a safe word was needed would be over. Surely both sides of the slash in that case loose what was great.

Secondly is it reasonable to expect anyone to never cross the line or go too far, when the other person could on a day not be able to take something they have taken/done before, and that can happen suddenly. No one is gifted with the ability to always be able to discern what is too much. That is what safe words are for to make sure that there is a safe guard against getting it wrong or missing something that no matter what the level of experience can't be seen, or is missed. I think that it is a ridiculous expectation to take upon, or have put upon you as no human is right, or aware always.

I think the you can safe word but after its over concept is very problematic.

Vhale​(sub female){Yes} • Jun 2, 2019

As I sub I set my limits and reserve the right to safeword out of any situation I am not comfortable with in order to save the trust in my relationship.

Miki • Jun 2, 2019

This sounds like subs abusing the safe word concept. It is to stop a situation that is unbearable or starts to creep too close to a boundary.

Those who use safe words too loosely are likely not ready for that which they're signing on for and perhaps the relationship should shift gears into an evaluation mode.

I'm not a "real" sub (as defined by some circles in here and elsewhere in Kink Nation) I am a sexual masochist. Of course that is submissive in nature but the rest of "the lifestyle" is a pass for me. I'm a professional woman and like my independence. I just like crazy things to happen when I'm in bed with someone.

Pain enhances my orgasms, to put it bluntly. But I have limits that are established ahead of time. No bleeding (whip me in a variety of places so as not to cause too much damage) The pain of a nice crop on my back is just as orgasm-enhancing as on my ass, legs, tits, etc. And the warm tingle afterwards is a post-sex plus.

But I prefer to dress up and be on my way without the need for aftercare.

But sometimes a dom or sadist can get carried away and that is where safe words are needed.

If a sub uses a safe word to get out of "punishments" then he or she bit off more than they can chew and once again need to evaluate if kink is for them.

Looks great on porn but so does deep-throating and a good fuck in the ass... until one actually does it (the back door is still on my to-do list. In truth because I know it's more than I can imagine, depending on the size of the wanger involved and whether or not it's "bent". Also that activity needs prep work so as to not make one incontinent, if not right away surely down the line. But it's something I will have done to me eventually because I also know once the stretching is done and the guy (or gal with a good, ribbed strap-on) starts humping, the moaning and thrashing is because it feels great.

Finally, of course, a good soapy enema beforehand because no dude wants to pull out and find they have an Hostess Ho-Ho for a dick. Not the kind of chocolate frosting anyone likes.

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Jun 2, 2019

as a fellow masochist, i highly recommend anal fun . it’s not as complicated as one thinks and it would take a real douche (in the human sense of the word) and (or) an inexperienced one to damage you. it’s a resilient and remarkable toy for sure . Also, a few internal rinses with warm water is all that’s needed. no soap up the bum. i also, don’t recommend deep cleaning before play, stick with the first few inches. trust me, leaves one clean enough to eat. hehe 🙃 enjoy <3