Your New Year's Resolution for 2020

Your New Year's Resolution for 2020

DominusJ​(dom male) • Dec 30, 2019

As we move on to yet another new year, I'm curious what resolutions people have in mind. 

I know we can all think of things we can do, whether it be working out more, eating better, healthy habits, a different focus on a career, attentions to family, relationships or friends.   I heard one person say; "Drink more, sleep more", which is kind of going in the opposite direction.

Sadly though, statistically, new year resolutions don't always last very long.   
Another thought would be to open up a gym on the first of the year and then after two weeks, turn it into a bar.  (just kidding)

What kind of resolutions are you looking to put in place for 2020? Serious or funny.. let's hear 'em.

Conan​(dom male) • Dec 30, 2019

I'm quitting tobacco.

Erick​(sub male) • Dec 30, 2019

Really going to find my controlling, long-distance text Dad in 2020.

Have been rejected about half a dozen times so far, here and on several other fetish sites where I post. (I'm thinking about trying the hug-&-kiss places. I wonder if there are any cruel doms secretly lurking on OKCupid?) But I'm not complaining. Luckily for me, I am very masochistic. So being rejected is my bread and butter, and being humiliated gives me a stiffy. I eat failure (euphemism) every day for breakfast and I think it's tasty. And maybe there's a Dad somewhere who is such a connoisseur of masochists that he will find my abject inadequacy pathetically endearing, and that will give him a stiffy. Stranger things happen.

But best wishes to the fellow above me who is giving up nicotine. That's an excellent plan.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Dec 31, 2019

So much of our lives are up in the air right now.
Im saving my resolutions until the end of January.

Bunnie • Jan 1, 2020

I’ve been thinking a lot about this forum thread for some reason. I have never consciously sat down and done New Year’s resolutions. In fact I have never consciously sat down and set goals either. I’ve always been a bit of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda gal. Which isn’t very conducive to adulthood lol.

Taking into account my impulsiveness as a person, knowing that my self-discipline is really bad, my organisation skills are even worse... and my ability to emotionally beat myself up is near perfect... suggests I don’t possess the greatest combination of characteristics for setting goals for the New Year.

One thing that does seem to be something I can manage however, is self-observation and working towards better understanding and acceptance of my (whole) self. As I often speak about... working towards nourishment on a soul level. Perhaps this is my fetish. Learning and growth. Exploration. Curiosity. Whatever it is... it brings me here... to this forum... writing this post.

I’m not unique in having had a rough past few years. We read it everywhere here. In fact I’ve often wondered if that’s an underlying base as to what draws us all here in some way (but we’ll leave that to unpack on a rainy day).

Contemplating where I’ve been the last few years, and where I am now, boggles my mind. I know I’m the same person and yet inside feels so different. There has been so much shifting and changing. A constant perfect storm in a lot of ways.

However, finally there is some peace. A chance to take a breath. A chance to look around. Finally I can take the opportunity to look outside of myself and begin to reach a hand for others. Many no doubt have wondered why I have kept my doors closed all this time. You can’t help anyone else if you yourself are drowning. LifeSavers 101.

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned on this journey so far has been boundaries. How to respect those of others, and how to set and maintain my own. As a people pleaser, this has been probably one of the most difficult lessons of my life thus far. And by no means have I perfected it. Isolation until I felt safe to honour myself and others, has been the only way I felt I could learn.

It’s feeling like time to step out a bit though... and I have been in little ways here and there. It’s finally feeling like I can begin to hold out my hand again. To help others. To help others without compromising myself or them. It requires a lot to be able to hold our own space and yet help others to feel safe in theirs. A lesson that no doubt I will spend a lifetime learning to do well.

So... New Year’s resolution one:

Giving my time to helping others. Not in ways that *I* believe are best... but in ways that will honour those I encounter. *Listening* and *hearing* their needs and wants. Being honest with both of us as to whether or not I can provide those things. Learning to let go of the need to try to “fix” and just learning to simply “be” with others in their pain and discomfort or joy and happiness.

Which leads to New Year’s resolution two:

Becoming more comfortable in my heart. Choosing vulnerability. Surrendering the need to try to control the unknown. Not just as a submissive... but to life.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 1, 2020

For me? Being less of a disappointment. I have talked spicily to a few doms and a couple sadists in here, and while the spicy banter stimulates many sexual organs, I am extremely particular about just who gets to lay a whip or whatever on me. While I thoroughly enjoy such pain, I have a peculiar aversion to meeting the next Ted Bundy.

Get it??

Meg​(dom female){NotLooking} • Jan 7, 2020

I'm continuing on my quest to be a more positive person (clinical depression sure can made one into a cynical bag, lol). Somewhat contradictory to my desire to be more positive, I'm also going to try to be more honest with my feelings and to take less shit from people. I'm going to tell people when I'm too socially drained to participate in gatherings. I'm going to tell people if I disagree with their opinions, without being a dick about it.

I'm also going to get better at my paintings hobby and try to sell some of my work.

I'm going to try to eat healthier food, not because I need to lose weight, but because it stomach acid problems.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Jan 7, 2020

I never made resolutions this year but know they should be about improving my health (again) and getting back to where I was. I'm drained, I'm tired, I'm not well and that's not me.

Richlydefined​(sub female){Gardener} • Jan 8, 2020

I've never been one for making resolutions because I'm more of a take things as they come person. While that does make me amazing in a crisis and everyone's go-to person for most everything, I've been in a weird place personally for too long and I need to stop putting my needs aside and speaking up more just in general. Going forward I'm probably just going to try to do that more.

Darrell​(dom male) • Jan 8, 2020

My New Year`s resolution as every year is to roll my eyes and laugh at my family when they tell me what their`s is and fail miserably lol Im slightly evil but i do encourage them because I do want them to prove me wrong.

I have only ever made 2 one was to grow a beard for over a year, I currently look like grizzly adams Aiming for full on ZZ top lol And the other was to quite smoking 7 years next month since my last one.

But as i always say to my family if you have the willpower and the need or want to change you will. So good luck to all who make their`s