Not sure what I would call what happened to me? Domspace? subspace? subdrop?

Little backstory… I have been with my sub for almost 2 years (April will make 2 years officially). He is my first D/s relationship experience and he is amazing. When we started out it was simply him switching (He is a Dom) for me to gain experience as a Domme and/or me watching him interact with his sub.

So the reason for the post...(sorry if it’s a long read)

My sub M(44) and I F(33) had a session and like all of our other session started out great but somewhere along the line it went south and I don't quite remember everything that happened that night. If I had to describe myself in this BDSM world I would say I am a Sadist Domme (I don’t like to box myself into labels) however my need to inflict pain is must greater than my need to have control. During our session I was in the middle of flogging him I stop and asked him to do it to me. Now this is where the story gets fuzzie for me (He had to fill in the rest).

He says while he was flogging me I came, and told him to clean up the mess he made (oral). He stated things got weird even for him because I became very subby like. I gave him a rim job something I never did before and he was thinking I was going to pegged him but I told him to flogged me again. We started having sex and now I’m asking him to degrade me (which he knows is something I rather not do even to him). At this point he realized something is off so he stops. I have really intense orgasm (love but hate them lol). He said I was in that state for at least 45 minutes (I think he is over exaggerating much).

When I finally came around I remember waking up to him cradling me in his arms kissing my forehead asking me if I was okay. I simple said yes because at the moment everything seemed normal I just thought I feel asleep.

It was not until days later that I went into a deep depressed state, crying, not eating or sleeping, feeling guilty, dirty, and I could not figure out what had triggered this mind set. When trying to piece together the session the things I could remember about it would never have set this kind of downward spiral. When I asked my sub about it that is when he filled me in about all the other pieces.

The part that freaked me out the most about him replaying what had happened was that I was somehow coherent enough to communicate with him, tell him what I wanted him to do, and answer him back when he asked me a question. I asked how the session ended, he said in the beginning he was enjoying himself I was still in control guiding him on what to do to me but somewhere something change and he started seeing me as one of his submissive and instantly got soft. He also said that if I didn't stop convulsing soon he was going to call 911 that freak him out because it lasted a very long time.


My questions are, Is that what sub space and drop feels like? Is it common to not remember being in that space?

I have no idea what happened to you, but im sorry it did. That sounds very scary.

Like Meg, I also haven't the foggiest idea what happened to you. (Dom Space? Sub Drop? Dom Drop? Sub Space? Space Drop? Sub Dom? Dom Dom? Something like that?) Though I must say I'm not terribly scared. I have a hunch you will survive.

It's an interesting story. You might want to develop it further. And I say that as a person who reads lots and lots of fiction on a regular basis.

In fiction, it is quite common for characters to "not remember" what happened to them. And then to later wonder about it at great length.

Whisky might help. Possibly. It often does the trick for me.

Best of luck.

[quote="Sybil"

My questions are, Is that what sub space and drop feels like? Is it common to not remember being in that space?[/quote]

like the others I cant say for sure (no one can without being there) either but it does sound a little like subspace and drop but some parts are also inconsistent. In true subspace its not uncommon to not remember what has occurred. However most agree, in true subspce orgasm is not achievable and that alone then points to phases of orgasm that your describing and not subspace...but then you also mention convulsing and that doesn't fit to either (subspace or phases of orgasm) and might need medical assessment.
As to was it drop or simply guilt? that could be a little of everything.

If you truly worried talk to a Doctor or a sex therapist. If you feel you cant talk to your Doctor, there are Doctors that are open to kink. there are even lists of Doctors and Therapist online that are open to kink or practice kink themselves. I'm not saying you need medical care, I'm simply saying if your worried, its ok to seek a professional.

You might just be over analyzing a good time. This could be just what your body needed and let go in a cathartic release. If you want to call it sub space great, if you want to call it a trance great. If you hit your OHMMM moment that is great. I believe only 2 things matter in your scene:

1. Did you enjoy yourself?
2. If you wanted to reach that level again can you?

Strange, I've been on this site for quite a while, back when they were offering "free premium" memberships to the first "x hundred" sign-ups ---and until now had not seen references or threads addressing "sub drop" and/or "top drop"

I never knew this post-play situation had an official name or was something everyone goes through.
It does explain why I "go onto the shelf" for a quite a while after a particularly energetic "session".

I don't seem to have it as bad as what I have read about here and, expanding from here on other sites that deal with BSDM play and its drawbacks. - anyway I still prefer to be "idle" for a period of time because feeling crappy isn't tremendously high on my To-Do list.

Thanks for bringing this situation to the front burner!

Thanks to everyone who took time to give me advice I greatly appreciate it!!!

I spoke with my therapist so I could make some meaning of it all. I enjoyed the session at least the parts I remember lol. She (my therapist) says it’s me disassociating because I can remember some parts of the session. She also believes the intensity of the session is what brought this on as well so my mind went into using my coping mechanism. It has something to do with past trauma and which I used disassociation to cope