Patience

Something I clearly lack. I find myself needing a daddy/dominant/care giver so very badly I rush into things with someone and then realize it's not a good fit/ i cant give them what they want/ I'm not getting what i need/want. But i just get soooo Impatience and well I just someone to listen to, to play with that i give it to anyone that can keep me tricked long enough i suppose. I just need to work on patience but i dont know how. I guess I just get insecure on not having someone to listen i listen to almost anyone because when I'm following directions I feel good about myself/ important/ wanted but I know it's not safe. Ok rant over.

At least you are not the only one.
Keep at it.
You’ll get there.

Give yourself a checklist when it comes to relationships since you know you rush into things.

For example:

Week 1:
get to know each other
find out what kinks you enjoy together
find out what vanilla things you enjoy together
share pictures
start to move conversation off email and onto chat platform like kik.

Week 2:
is he/she still holding my interest
bring out more things you like together
bring the conversation more sexual

Week 3:
is he/she still holding my interest
share goals (both kink and vanilla)
our are chats lasting about as long as they did week 1.

And grow out your list... the longer your list in weeks the less eager you will be and the slower you will be... after a good month or so of just talking start talking about making the relationship official and if the person is far away start working out a way to meet for a long weekend to start.

I understand and can relate, as I’m sure many subs can.
Awareness is a good first step to making changes.
You’re aware that you’re rushing into these things, and you have a pretty good understanding of why. That’s the most difficult part in my opinion.

Maybe just researching and learning about the lifestyle on your own for a while could help to shift your focus away from that feeling of “desperation” until you feel comfortable enough in yourself to proceed towards looking for the right fit, may help. There are plenty of resources and websites available to look at.

I have found having a good support system of both Dominants and subs to be my absolute lifeline in this lifestyle... be it whether I’m with someone or alone. Purely platonic friendship... no play. Just helping each other along in the journey.

Another option is to find some hobbies or interests that give you fulfilment offline. Perhaps you could volunteer and fill that need for pleasing others, and creating a feeling of satisfaction in yourself. Utilise your strengths for these sorts of things... an example is I love to garden, so a volunteer project that appeals to me is helping elderly maintain their gardens. If you’re crafty, find something to do with arts and crafts etc...

The biggest challenge I find personally is making decisions. I’m really terrible at it lol. But sometimes we just have to recognise that sometimes we just have to do what has to be done. It’s ok to make mistakes. Just dust yourself off and continue. You’ll be ok... it’s just a matter of learning to trust yourself and your capabilities a little more