| alpha texan(dom male){Looking fo} |
6 years ago •
Feb 11, 2020
Lose
How do you get over losing the sub you love so much since I have found this forum I need to ask questions can someone give me advice
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IowaDom(dom male)
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6 years ago •
Feb 11, 2020
The same as with any dynamic, vanilla or otherwise. It is just going to take time my friend. But as you likely already know, you need to heal this wound in your soul before looking to replace your sub. When we are part of a relationship, there is give and take, conquest and surrender, filling each others hills and valleys. When the other half is suddenly gone, it can seem a cold empty dark place you suddenly find yourself in.
This is the time to work on you again. Explore your likes and dislikes, hobbies, and interests. I can promise you you are not the same person who first entered that dynamic, some changes were made, some sacrifices given. With an unforgiving eye, evaluate yourself now, and get to know you again. You will find that person is well worth knowing. I suspect once you have healed your heart, kept all the good and shed the bad from your last dynamic, you won't be searching for a new sub, and they will probably, and quite unexpectedly, pop up in front of you like a jack in the box, be ready to embrace the new, be able to give them what they need because you are whole. |
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Sir Richard(dom male)
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6 years ago •
Feb 11, 2020
Take time to grieve. Do NOT jump into another relationship. Like IowaDom said above, work on yourself. Allow yourself time to heal. Talk to people and process your loss. Reassess yourself and what you want for the future.
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TheChimera(sub female)
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6 years ago •
Feb 11, 2020
As hard as this is to do. ((I'm still doing this from my last vanilla relationship)) After you've given yourself time to grieve the loss, and focus on yourself as IowaDom said--
When you're ready. Try to draw lessons from it. What could you have done differently? What could they have done differently? Was there any mistakes made? -- If so, how could you improve on them, or work with them? Were you the best you could be? -- If not, how could you move forwards and change that? What traits in that sub did you want moving forwards with a potential future sub? Any new limits you've found? Anything you might not want in future? I've found, even with the shittiest situations (Excuse my language) there's always little lessons to be learned. Try to look for them. Everything is a learning experience. |
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Erick(sub male)
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6 years ago •
Feb 12, 2020
I know what you mean. I don't do breakups very well myself. I carry torches for affairs I never even had.
Whisky sometimes helps. Combined with dreamy and sad music. Then you pick yourself up and start looking for someone new. (I'm crazy about alpha Dads from Texas, by the way. *bats eyelashes*. I imagine you're looking for a lady friend. Most doms are. But I just thought I'd mention it.) Cheers! |
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Subservientsandy(sub female)
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6 years ago •
Feb 12, 2020
I feel for you. I am sorry for your loss. I was married to my Sir for 7 years. He passed away and suddenly I was alone. I don't think we ever get over the loss of a loved one. However, time really does help heal all wounds. It allows us an opportunity to grieve, see the relationship in a different perspective, and hopefully mend our hearts. One day you will just begin to live again and be able to enjoy the rest of your journey.
Wishing you much happiness. Best, Sandy |
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