Curiousmind(sub female){Owned}
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4 years ago •
May 1, 2020
Pain
Hi all.
I am a newbie here and I am grateful I came across to this social network as I want to learn more about BDSM lifestyle. I have been enjoying reading some of the blogs and forums here in the last couple of days and finally got the courage to write my own thoughts and ask questions. I have so many on my mind but I will start with one particular subject of pain. The topic of pain is relatively new to me. I discovered last year that I enjoy being spanked during sex. Slowly I started craving more strong sensations. Thus, floggers and paddles came along. First, I was worried that my partner would think I was weird asking to inflict pain on me but I have been opening up slowly to him so, in reality, it wasn't such a big shock to him. Still, I feel sometimes it is not normal to enjoy and crave pain... Why do I like it so much? It is a physical release from all the stresses and worries that accumulate in my life. When pain is inflicted on me it teaches me to let it go, to become free from myself, from reality. It releases endorphins into my body so it gives me that high like in any other addictions people might have. It arouses me. It comforts me in some weird sense. It bonds me with a partner. For some strange reasons I enjoy seeing the flogging marks on my body the next day: to me these are beautiful I am not much into psychology of true punishment at this stage and I know it is a different scenario when a sub is punished. It is not for her to enjoy it. However, I haven't experienced it in practice yet and I am not sure if it is for me either. The question that I have is in regards to that floating space I've heard submissives often experience during the impact play. How do you get there? What does it feel like? Is it a duration of impact play, the intensity, the tools used? What helps you as a sub to reach that state of mind and what you as a dom do to help your sub to reach that floating subspace? |
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YaGottaBeKittenMe(sub female){Daddy}
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4 years ago •
May 1, 2020
Getting to subspace is different for everyone. But the most common theme i hear repeated on how to get there is to forget about it.
For me it takes relaxation and and just being completely in the moment to get there. Actually was in it last night, and it took me by surprise, as it usually takes a good bit of pain for me to get there. But last night Daddy was barely spanking me as i rode him, but I was so focused on him and his voice and his hands that it completely took me by surprise. So there are lots of different ways to get there. For me it's just overwhelming emotion, and i sob uncontrollably. The release it triggers is humongous, and having Daddy there to guide me through it (was my first time in subspace with him) made it even more intense. I still get shivers remembering his voice..... Anyway, your best bet is to relax and just focus on enjoying yourself, and don't be surprised or scared if your reaction isn't what you expected it to be. |
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Curiousmind(sub female){Owned}
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4 years ago •
May 1, 2020
Thank you
That’s such interesting inside to getting to subspace! It is a new journey for me so I really appreciate your input to my curiosity and your practical experience in regards to that topic! I will take your advice 
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skyrich(dom male){rottenbrat}
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4 years ago •
May 1, 2020
Unfortunately, no one can tell you what subspace is. You have to experience it for yourself. It's kinda like The Matrix that way.
Just be sure not to take the Blue Pill, and you'll be fine. |
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Curiousmind(sub female){Owned}
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4 years ago •
May 1, 2020
I had to google the meaning of the Blue Pill
...That's good advice. Thank you! 
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Magus(sadist male)
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4 years ago •
May 2, 2020
Firstly, I think it's important to point out you don't need to be into 'punishment' to enjoy masochism. You can do S&M without any D/s elements with punishment and reward dynamics. When I got into the S&M scene in 1992 I never heard anyone use the term 'D/s' it was years before people started talking about 'BDSM' and 'D/s'. Many people simply enjoyed pain for all the reasons you've listed, but in recent years people have started to incorrectly assume that D/s is the only way.
On subspace, I suspect it is a form of Flow State (Stealing Fire is a great book if you don't know what a Flow State is), most easily reached by a period of 'stress or struggle' followed by 'release'. So in practice I have found a slower build up to a peak of pain, and then a pause before repeating the process in most causes something around 10 to 20 minute cycles with a few minutes pause depending upon the levels of pain the person is drawn to. While everyone is different, these have been true for me in most cases over the years. People tend to differ more in types of whip or impact play they like, rather than the time and process needed to reach a deep state. I hope that helps. |
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Curiousmind(sub female){Owned}
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4 years ago •
May 2, 2020
Hi Magus,
Thank you so much for your input! I can’t believe how timely your response is as only today i came across an article on reddit.com on how to get your sub to subspace where they discuss exactly the same technique of incremental periods of pain. I understand everyone is different but it is so good to hear about people’s experiences in the area of pain and subspace. Thanks again 
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Magus(sadist male)
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4 years ago •
May 2, 2020
Hi Curiousmind,
Yes, it's fairly well established that incremental pain works well, what I have never heard anyone else talk about is the link with Subspace and Flow States, so that is well work looking into. - M |
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Curiousmind(sub female){Owned}
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4 years ago •
May 2, 2020
Hey M,
Thank you. I love reading so I will definitely look into “Stealing Fire” book (to learn about flow state). Is it available online somewhere? Cheers
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Magus(sadist male)
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4 years ago •
May 2, 2020
Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler was a best seller, it's available from all the usual places, as well as well as an audio book.
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