The respectful way to "approach" a potential Dom?

The respectful way to "approach" a potential Dom?

LostGirl Aria​(sub female){♡G.W.N.♡} • May 30, 2020

Soo,
A thought came to mind during my morning routine that I would like to post here for maybe some diverse feedback?

For a submissive who has never made the "first move"...

Is there such guidelines a submissive should probably follow when she wants to make contact with a Dom, for the first time? Should she even be the one to make contact first?

Do she need to approach it as she would any other time, for any other circumstance? Or is there some "tips" she should maybe incorporate into her delivery of conversation?

I'm just curious & would like to hear from everyone/anyone about their thoughts on such

Thanks,
to all who may share!

LostGirl

LaVieEnRose​(sub female){Learning } • May 30, 2020

I just send a message saying hi I came across your profile (whether in searching or saw a forum post, etc.) and explain what it was about the profile I found interesting.

Obviously make sure they don’t have a name in their collar and their profile states that there is not reason you shouldn’t be messaging.

Just be polite and respectful the same you would with anyone else, at the end of the day you are equals until you’ve an established relationship.

It’s handy if you’ve already chatted via the forum/blogs or the chat room. But I’ve also just politely messaged profiles I find interesting.

Xx

HisHunnyBun​(sub female){Taken} • May 30, 2020

I said
Hi love your profile!
Then I posted what was on my mind (I do that a lot)

Wondered with him being 6" 4 and I'm 5" 3 how far would I reach.
And bam!
Here we are!
Now to just convince him to change his collar so people know he's mine!!!

NCarraway​(dom male) • May 30, 2020

Great question. Thanks for posting

You should definitely approach. That way you control the quality of your interactions.

I can only speak for myself as to what has spiked my interest in the past, and I would say that these types of approaches are useful for both friendship and potential partner approaches.

If I were trying to attract my attention:

- I would make sure that my profile had something in it.
- I would not assume that a relationship is going to happen, or to even offer one. It's better to approach with the hand of friendship and see how the vibe feels.
- I dont think your approach should be overly wordy or elaborate - that implies neediness
- I wouldnt use Sirs or anything that implies submission in that first approach. You should approach as an equal but in a respectful manner.

I'd use the approach similar to:

Hi, I saw your profile/post/blog and it caught my attention, I really liked .... such and such .... about it. I'd really like to start a conversation if you are able to ... I think there are some really interesting things I could learn from you.

And then leave it at that. I wouldnt send multiple messages if you don't get a response.

Hope that helps.

I am really interested to see what works with other Dominants.

Carraway

LostGirl Aria​(sub female){♡G.W.N.♡} • May 30, 2020

Thank you! Yes, I absolutely pay attention to the collar as well as read profiles. For me, my prior relationship with my prior Dom was the only one I've had. That started as friends long before we entered any form of dynamic, so for me... I've never had to be the one to initiate any sort of conversation. Being naturally introverted doesn't help at all. lol. But, thank you for giving me some insight. Appreciate it very much!

LaVieEnRose​(sub female){Learning } • May 30, 2020

I’m pretty introverted myself so I read and read my messages before I send them, but for me it’s far easier to verbalise what I want to say in a message then to say it to someone’s face.

I say just let things flow, be yourself and try to be friends before you become Dom and sub. It’s been a learning curve for me as well and I’m sure i get it wrong but when the right one comes along things will just flow for you and it won’t feel like a struggle!

LostGirl Aria​(sub female){♡G.W.N.♡} • May 30, 2020

You're welcome. I also hope it helps some fellow submissives who may be wondering the same thing. I appreciate your advice, the detail as well which you provided it in. I'm sure it will help. Yes, I too am wondering the same! Hope to hear from all who cares to share!

LostGirl Aria​(sub female){♡G.W.N.♡} • May 30, 2020

Thank you for sharing!
Yes, I agree!! Stake claim to what is yours!!

Edmond Dantes​(dom male) • May 30, 2020

Looking at it from the Dom perspective....

Yes, start a conversation. What do you have to lose?

However, I think your profile is more important than what you write in your first message. Once you are on my radar, that's where I go to see who you are. Make your profile expansive or enigmatic (but not challenging) so people have stuff to ask you about in an ongoing conversation.

As for your first message, you know I am a Dom and I know you are a sub, so no need to go anywhere near that in your message. Just be the real you. Your message should be like any other way of starting a conversation, for example:

'Hi'

I liked your profile. I thought it was.... especially the bit about.... etc, etc.
I see you are from X, I hear it is nice there....
What did you mean when you said X in your profile....

The rest is just about correspondence and finding out who you both are.

When Boo first contacted me she just picked up one thing from my profile. Just discussing that gave us material for our first dozen messages and by then we had clicked enough to be exploring each other much more. If it doesn't click, then you can always back out gracefully with nothing lost.

Of course, this is only my view.

dollMaker​(dom male) • May 30, 2020

Well a simple hello is one way, but I assume there is something that sparked a desire to approach, so whatever that is might be a good topic to ask an open question. Something they are into, something said on forum, or in lobby, on their profile. I would urge though an approach to a person, not a possible kink provider, so keep it mostly vanilla, respectful and try and keep whatever thirst exists under control.

What I would also say, from my point of view, only approach if you are genuinely interested and can follow through if that approach grows into a dynamic. I have been approached so often by wanabes, fantasists and time wasters that its frustrating, and has from time to time made me wary of random approaches. However I try to be optimistic and open to the possibility the next one might bring something, someone nice into my life.