Life

Life

House Talion​(dom male) • Jun 10, 2020

As there are many aspects of life it is essentially our experiences that make us who we are and who we will be. Every experience has a direct impact on this effect. While many are the same as others, others cant compare. So what life experiences havebyou had that has made you the person you are today?



Me:
I've been bullied most of my life, gave my first bloody nose in 1st grade. It was totally self defense and apparently for whatvthebgrown ups said, I was wrong. No matter what others say, size matters. I've always been bigger than the other kids in one waybor another and it's always gotten me into trouble which got me the attitude at a young age to always watch my back and ball my fists.

By the time I got to Jr high I had the general understanding that if you take out the biggest guy in the class ppl would look up to you as if its respect. It was fear. My problem was not only was I the tallest guy in my class by 6th grade, I was the tallest guy in the school at 6'-3". By 8th grade I was taller than the principle at 6'-5". Not to toot my own horn or that it's such an accomplishment, but by 8th grade they needed a 3 man team to land a hit and the MVP graduate of the wrestling team in my 7th grade tried to make a name for himself before going onto high school which got his letter of recommendation revoked. High school was the same as everyone looked at me as a target, I got more exercise running between classes than I ever did in gym class till I got to the low-tech where everyone else was at least a foot shorter, kinda gave me protection.

My life experiences taught me to never let ppl push you around or to walk all over you. You can still be kind, generous, and helpful- big difference if you know what and who to watch out for

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jun 10, 2020

Thank you for sharing a piece of your self. i enjoy reading your contributions, and sometimes wonder if you are using a phone to write on? Some of your words are puzzles "whatvthebgrown."

i think you are right that our experiences mold us. i see them as an essential factor in the equation of who we are, but i think on the other side there is something intrinsic about us that also contributes to the overall result. The forever nature/nurture discussion.

Reading your experiences and responses to bullies got my attention right away because there are similarities between us. i too had perpetual bullies in my life until i was about 14 (when i too grew to be 6'4", but i was skinny to the point of emaciation). my response to bullies was the opposite of yours though. i never fought back, i was afraid to.

Retrospectively i have come to see and understand that i have always had a sub nature. Well, as far back as i can trace-wihich is first or second grade. That didn't work well for me either. i had crushes on boys and girls, but mostly boys. i think my girl 'crushes' were more relating to them (hey, i'm gay lol). But my intrinsic traits were not heteronormative or stereotypical guy traits. i learned how to hide over time, but it took till i was 14 to look 'normal.' Looking back, i can see how a lot of my crushes were on Boys with dom nature. Of course none of us had a clue about any of that.

my point is, i can see how my sub nature figured in to how i was bullied and who i was attracted to. i think a lot of my bullies were actually Boys with immature dom nature. Sort of like how little boys will often hit the girl they have a crush on because they do not know how to express what they are feeling.

When a boy would bully me, i'd submit. It wasn't a healthy submission, but i was a kid and didn't have a clue how to deal with my nature, instead i learned to hide to survive.

On the other hand, it seems to me that your Dom nature came through even as a kid, though like me, not necessarily in a healthy way. I.e., you fought back and Dominated.

For both of us, though it was painful and confusing to grow up in cultures that did not see, understand or nurture us. It seems wonderfully blatant to me that our natures and, who we are, were in evidence- even in their immature, unrecognized and undeveloped states.

wannabepsychology​(sub female){Taken} • Jun 12, 2020

I grew up in a strict christian military home. I literally moved into my first husbands home straight from my parents' home. I was raised to be a people pleaser. Being the good girl was the only measuring stick I had to gage life by. I thought I wanted everything I was expected to want....husband, kids, dog, minivan, a place on the PTO board. So I got all of that. Wasn't allowed to work because of the cost of daycare. Took care of everyone else to the point it cost me my health.

When I finally left I was unable to provide for myself. Fast forward to today...I am fighting for everything I have.....working really hard to get through school and provide. I serve in a restaurant, which I am good at and make great money because I can put up with jerks. I am able to put up with the assholes because I literally understand the psychology behind their asshole condition and feel sorry for them that they do not have a level of thinking that would help them understand it themselves.

That being said, I am tired. I am exhausted sometimes from the decisions I have to make and all that I have to do. I need the interaction with someone who I know is on my side and truly, down in his soul wants what is best for me and is protective and keeps me accountable. I have yet to meet someone like that outside of a true Dom. So that is why I am here. For this person, I slip very easily into the role of submissive. The D/s lifestyle is becoming my rock and the only thing I can depend on for myself. No one else has my back while I am juggling what feels like the weight of the world.

I know they say that a submissive just is, you cannot make a submissive or become one. Through the stuff I personally have gone through I had to squash that part of me and not let her out. There was no place for her trying to survive. The D/s relationship gives her a safe place to be. So on top of all the other great things that come from this lifestyle, I get to feel safe. That is something I do not take lightly and it means the world to me.