Connection

Connection

new life​(sub female) • Aug 27, 2020

You get a message or send a message and the conversation starts. Some will never be more than a message or two and that’s ok. But.... what happens when you quickly feel a connection and you talk for hours? It’s almost like going through withdrawals when you suddenly stop even for just a few hours. I know everyone is different and everyone has a different level of need for contact. I know that many times one or the other feels a connection more strongly than the other. How do others deal with that sudden anxiety without breaking down and calling or messaging over and over just to get an answer? I know it’s crazy and all but it can’t just be me who feels that way.... surely others have felt it too... the question is how did you handle it

new life​(sub female) • Aug 28, 2020

It’s not even a sudden stop. It was an ok we both had things to do and will talk to you later and my own insecurities kick in after just a couple of hours... especially after spending hours on the phone.

wildwolf​(dom male) • Aug 28, 2020

I completely understand where you're coming from and when you figure out an answer let me know I have the same issue you do get to talk to somebody and you spend hours and you yourself feel the connection but then oh well I'm not sure if I'm the one for you yes it's almost an immediate heartbreak and really sucks I know everyone has their opinion but that's mine I haven't found anyone yet that has that connection with me and then there's the thing of sending messages and no one responds sorry I'll stop now

Taramafor​(sub male) • Aug 28, 2020

It's honestly better to spend time on a computer instead of a phone. That way you can roleplay online, keep talking on chat apps, hang out on Second Life. All while doing whatever else you do at home. Helps that you can do your own thing on other tabs. Play games. etc.

Like everyone else people that spend time online together still do their own thing. On and offline alike. It's about consistency. Getting into a pattern of doing things and relaxing and finding the balance. Being "online" doesn't mean you have to do make lots of IC posts all the time. Or even write a lot. You can just "shit talk". Maybe one day is more action focused and the next is taking things easy. Or half and half throughout a day. This is a "consistent pattern". A phone won't give you that many options. It's that simple. Plus the small phone screen limits communication and written roleplay, the later having the possibility to spark real life ideas. Mainly it's just easier to type on a keyboard though. One word. Communication. Let alone action.

If on the other hand someone doesn't even make any kind of effort after a week that's falling out of that pattern. Regardless of the activity or form of communication involved. There's only so much you can say. Activity is important too. Expresses ideas. Makes stories even.

Online roleplay is action. Creativity. I can't connect with someone that can't think outside the box. I have ideas and can express that and I need to know someone has a brain and is thinking beyond just what they see alone. If I don't see imagination online, be it through talks or typeed actions, then how can I trust someone to be creative physically? If I don't see someone making some kind of effort how can I trust I won't be neglected? I'l put in my effort for you but you got to make it back too. And actually find out if a roleplay idea is fun or not by actually trying it. Because everyone adapts to a situation differently which changes the context. By this I mean it's easy to assume you won't have fun because it "sounds" generic, but because of context someone might do something entertaining within that theme/environment (a physical example might be uniforms). Which is something to keep in mind both online and physically. If you have one attitude in real life, you got that attitude online. And vice versa. So if someone is making an effort online you can be sure they'll put it in physically as well. Reverse logic also applies. Strangely communication can also be easier through text (due to it not going anywhere to be examined). Which also helps facilitate communication physically as well. Provided people focus on the logic of what is said instead of making excused or being close minded and judgemental.

That was a lot longer then I thought it would be. But basically, "Have more to work with, be able to do more."

Bunnie • Aug 28, 2020

Welcome to the world of being a submissive lol. Where one gets to enjoy the struggles between feeling needy, too much, not enough and well... just all-round crazy, really. From my own personal experiences, and observations of others here, it takes a little while for these feelings to settle. Just keep plodding along on your journey of growth and things will become less scary. Next month you’ll have a completely new set of hurdles but it’s nothing to be alarmed about... I believe it’s a rather natural part of the whole process.

Tthomas • Aug 28, 2020

Being online and open to relationships is like a kid being in a candy store.

When a kid comes through the door he wants the first thing he sees. Then he wants the next thing. Then the next.

When you talk to someone weather you are a D or an s you are kicking the tires. If the tires are good you want to sit in the seat. If that feels good you move on to.... you get my drift.

It is hard not to establish feelings when chatting with someone. the trouble is you don't know of proper timing to put yourself out there or ask if they are interested. I have always known what kind of candy I like. I have no problem with letting someone know. My advice...take it for what its worth...if you want to know more and/or take it to the next level please let that someone know. It sure beats having a bag full of second thoughts.

hello

wildwolf​(dom male) • Aug 30, 2020

Hello new life I did completely understand what you meant and although I am not a premium member I would really like to chat with you

Feileks​(switch female) • Aug 30, 2020

I love when I find someone that I connect with on an intellectual and even emotional level online. I try to enjoy it while reminding myself to live in the present. Sure, something could come of this connection in the future, or not, and in case it doesn't, having realistic expectations will keep you from being devastated if it ends up being that it doesn't lead to where you want it to. It's normal to feel hurt when you're opening yourself up to someone and putting yourself out there. The anxiety you speak of, it's totally normal when you like someone. So, have fun and be careful.