Are you a true masochist?

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Sep 2, 2020

@Aries, it sounds like you are into primal and takedown and i feel you

everyone,
someone that identifies as a Sadist or Masochist only is just that, my long winded response below was pointing out that some identify as more. no one identifier makes one less than another is what i was hoping to prove, but the point may have gotten lost in some silliness.

hugs to all y’all

KnottyBunny • Sep 2, 2020

I dont think anyone is less than me, I dont think your point was lost either. I do fantasize about primal a lot. But I am a true masochist. I just want the pain.

Thank you for your responses.

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Sep 2, 2020

oh i was referring to the american psycho’s response (don’t seehis name at the moment but the christian bale avatar) and didn’t think anyone was being offensive

sardonicus87​(sadist male) • Sep 2, 2020

I literally said in my post the exact same thing: that someone can be a masochist AND a sub or something else. I made it quite clear it isn't one or the other or that someone can be only one and said, VERY explicitly that people could be both. I was just clarifying what someone who is only a sadist/masochist is.

DrWakko • Sep 2, 2020

There is not such thing as “true _____” you do you. She does her. He does him. They to they. I do me. There is no you have to do abc this exact way to be ________.

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Sep 2, 2020

this is what i was commenting on as i found it strange to say you would separate the two words as if they don’t share the same definition. curious about what that meant, so tried to cover bases in my responses since i am seeing this in two forum posts with similar content.

“ ...wouldn't call them a masochist, but I would call them masochistIC.”

btw, the language you use when you refer to some power exchange dynamics on your profile is pretty unfortunate as it seems quite contemptuous for someone participating in a BDSM community forum.

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Sep 2, 2020

directed to the topic in general and not an individual

it needs to be said, S/M is so much more than edge play and actually doesn’t even require it.

I so appreciate my D’s clever and creative mind, as he would never bore me with a lifetime of only snuff film auditions hehe; so much fun to be had. the mind, at the center of the sensory system, is far too often overlooked. always play with their minds, it’s stimulating.

sardonicus87​(sadist male) • Sep 2, 2020

I say that because what is their primary dynamic, masochism or submission? If submission, then masochistic sub. If the primary goal is masochism, then subby masochist. If both are equal, then sub/masochist.

And the reason I use the language I do is because of how I have been treated in the scene by not being D/s, and what D/s people have done kn the scene. In my experience, a large number seem to forget that not all of everyone in the scene is D/s, or they look down on fetishists (like spankos) as "not real kink" (yes, seen it many times). Also, their complete intrusion into EVERYTHING. I have seen so many plans for groups or parties for specific, non-power exchange things be taken over to be "more-inclusive of the scene" when the whole point of them is for people who are only into that thing to go do that thing with other people into that thing since it is so hard at other parties to find. Because I have seen so many people write so many things from a D/s perspective and completely disregard other aspects of BDSM. Also, I want it to be abundantly clear that I am not D/s because I get sick and tired of people in the scene constantly assuming everyone is D/s, or not understanding and belittling everything outside of some dynamics.

Obviously it isn't all D/s people that do that or act that way. My words aare based on my experience. "The scene" is generally not very inclusive or understanding, despite all the romanticized notions that they preach.

Even in this very thread, a thread specifically about masochism, and D/s people get butt hurt about it, take it personally, and then have to include D/s stuff in a discussion about masochism.

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Sep 2, 2020

my tone is not at all combative or aggressive as you read this*

this s very much a, “hello pot, i’m kettle and you are black” kind of comment.

i am sorry this has been your experience and that one true wayism, exclusion, and kink shaming does sting. you seem pretty bitter, based on your words and i hope that you find a way through that. i am understanding now you were referring to more the basic primary identifiers, an order of operations rather than specific traits.

that said, your hypocrisy and behavior with your choice of words is not reflective of a person i would actively attempt to get to know, but will continue to communicate as the cover could be misleading.

i will interject my thoughts on a public forum on a subject that is something with which i identify, to help ensure new members or those new to the subject were not mislead, or underrepresented, excluded, or shamed from an open forum discussion, or worse, that someone could feel shame or confusion in how they might define themselves. i tend to jump on when i see something i love put into a small limiting box.

your one way is not the only way. it is your way. this was not your original thread and you don’t run the door here.

shahh • Sep 2, 2020

'True' this or that is a fairytale notion and idea. All people are more complex than that. People grow, highlight interests, learn in more detail what they like and have the freedom to choose what to identify as. You can label yourself 'true' as much as you like, but it inherently says others not just like you are false. Masochism is on a scale like everything else.

@Sardonicus87

Your profile is loaded with hurt and pain. I'm sorry you're hurting. The irony is hard to ignore.

Throughout it and this forum you've bashed D/s for doing to you what you're trying to do to D/s... Undermine, insult and deny the value of.

To find your 'true' masochist...perhaps try looking beyond your 75 mile window that you've exhausted your search within. Many people...in all walks and with all interests have had to seek much further to find their 'true' anything. Mine is 1800 miles away. Travel is sometimes required ( although inadvisable at this time).