Are you a true Gaslighter?

Are you a true Gaslighter?

shahh • Sep 3, 2020

*chuckles with those that get the irony here

"A gaslighter personality is a highly manipulative individual. People who engage in gaslighting recognize manipulative behaviors and know they are doing them. These individuals use different tactics based on how they come across to others. They are controlling and want people to care only about their needs. Be aware that you are unlikely to be able to change the gaslighter – at least on your own. Gaslighting behavior is the only way gaslighters know to manage their world. For that reason, they are not likely to respond to rational appeals to change."

Just thought this might resonate with a lot of you thoughtful folks out there. And hopefully a good reminder to not feed the flames 😉

Aquarius Dom​(dom male) • Sep 3, 2020

Horrid despicable people there’s a meme in my blog explaining for the uninitiated!!
Be warned there are both male and female variants !!!

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} • Sep 3, 2020

Horrible to deal with. And when you get sucked in by one of these people, it's difficult to be released from their manipulation once it has begun. You become molded into what the person wants you to be. You start to doubt yourself and the things you do and feel everything is your fault, when deep down you know it isn't. You've been groomed to feel everything is your own fault and accept responsibility. If you catch him or her in a lie, to him or her it never even happened and you're making it up to make him or her look bad. Your feelings become invalid. All that matters is how he or she wants you to be. You are under control and it becomes difficult to escape.

Dunimos​(dom male) • Sep 3, 2020

The higher you climb in your carreer the more you will see gaslighting.
The worse variant is the covert narcissist. Masters of manipulation.

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} • Sep 3, 2020

Agreed Dunimos, the covert narcissist will wear you down. They have no feelings of empathy at all. And they so easily play with your emotions and feelings and have no remorse. You just get sucked in more and more if you aren't aware and careful.

Draiocht​(dom male) • Sep 3, 2020

Unfortunately, they are not uncommon in this lifestyle. The "official" diagnosis of this type of person is Antisocial Personality Disorder DSM-5 301.7 (F60.2).

"APD (Antisocial Personality Disorder) is a DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition), diagnosis assigned to individuals who habitually and pervasively disregard or violate the rights and considerations of others without remorse. People with Antisocial Personality Disorder may be habitual criminals, or engage in behavior which would be grounds for criminal arrest and prosecution, or they may engage in behaviors which skirt the edges of the law, or manipulate and hurt others in non-criminal ways which are widely regarded as unethical, immoral, irresponsible, or in violation of social norms and expectations. Those with APD often possess an impaired moral conscience and make decisions driven purely by their own desires without considering the needs or negative effects of their actions on others. Impulsive and criminal behavior is common."

Dunimos​(dom male) • Sep 3, 2020

I have found that while you can navigate them, even sometimes direct (or misdirect) them, you can never ever beat them. They will attack you from so many directions and have calculated every scenario. We may be smart but honestly most do not put in the effort like a true gas lighter or narcissist.
I report to one, for now. C level executive of the company in work for. We have clashed many times and I have had moderate success. However, while others in the company believe I am the only one capable of managing him, I know better. He will without doubt formulate a strategy and eventually will wear me out.
The only way to win is not play along.

Sasa​(dom female) • Sep 3, 2020

They are able to love bomb people in a very, very sweet way in the beginning. It's like you found your soulmate. Scary species. My best friend's ex-wife... 🙈 was one.

Re: Are you a true Gaslighter?

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Sep 3, 2020

i left the discussion, i couldn't submit myself to that kind of stuff. i'm not that kind of sub. If i feel someone is gaslighting me directly, i try not to respond or allow them to draw me in, i disengage. On a discussion forum, i may respond to something they say, but will not respond directly to them and try to let the community be the judge.

shahh • Sep 3, 2020

I eventually left as well. Sooooo not worth it . Tried to find the humor and ridiculous nature. The only way to avoid them is to give them no attention and platform to spin stories and direct blame elsewhere. I appreciated your thoughtful comments @tallslenderguy.

@ Dunimos...I agree. The only way to win is to not play along.