Judgemental people

Judgemental people

nuli​(sub female){Unkolared} • Oct 25, 2020

So once again I find my self in shock at how many judgemental people there are in this lifestyle.

In a lifestyle made of choices and ideas and cravings and need. Who cares to be judged. We are judged enough to outsiders we shouldn't be doing it to ourselves!

Just because you want to be called a sub/slave/bottom or you want them to call you Master/Sir/Daddy/Ma'am/Mommy. Who is anyone else to judge them?

I am a slave. Those that know me have called me a natural slave. Ok that's cool. Does everyone think I am? No lol cause a few found out right quick I am NOT a doormat nor stupid. I LOVE who I am don't like it, too dam bad.

This lifestyle has sooooo many different point iof views and choices and decisions who are you to judge another for their choices?

Get a clue people and stop judging those you don't understand. It's NOT hard specially since your own choices are frowned upon as much as the next person's

Nuli

sweetlotusblossom​(sub female) • Oct 26, 2020

I haven't found much judgement here, but I can understand the feeling. I can be very forceful when I need to, words fly out my mouth when a nerve is hit! I accept what I like, but i like & dislike lots of things. If it makes my life brighter to be open to this, Life is serious bogged down with always something to do, playing always makes more fun.
It is funny tho when random people try us mentally_ being single. Someone asks my rudely for something, I'm like, " excuse me do I know you?"
" do you think you know me?"
Just be good to yourself too:)

Tattooeddom • Oct 26, 2020

Without more context it is difficult to give a comprehensive answer. You will always find judgement people in whatever area of life you find yourself. You would thought that in an area where a dominant / submissive relationship is such an important part that such judgmentalism would not occur but you will always find judgement people in whatever area of life you find yourself. I have been to munches where some where 'sniffy' at what they considered the 'wrong' approach to BDSM. The important think is what makes YOU happy. Does it effect anyone else? If the answer is no go let them swivel.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Oct 26, 2020

Can't say I've seen much judgement. Just a few idiots that pretend to know what they're doing yet think good degradation is calling someone a faggot with no rights. That legit happened recently. Complaining about asking questions also happened.

I'm no doormat either. Nor am I stupid. It also takes more then a few standard every day one liners to get my interest. A good post with well written actions with a better choice of wording goes much further. Shows more imagination.

So, do I judge? Yes, I do. YOU'RE doing it too. "Judging judgement." I used to think I only judge judgement, but really, some people live sheltered lives are close minded and can't think outside the box. I look down on idiots and people that choose to see things only one way. Who doesn't judge a close minded person? Be honest now. We all do it.

People OFTEN judge what they don't understand. Which is a classic mistake. But I know full well what I look down on. People that hide behind anxiety as if it's an excuse to toss others aside like shit for example. Doing exactly what they complain about themselves. They're a victim of their own fear but they do what they complain about. I aren't the only one judging them. They're judging themselves. And if they continue to pull the same crap over and over and get away with it unchallenged it's no wonder the have suicidal tendencies. Meanwhile they might pretend to know when they don't know. Forced to admit they don't understand when you say as such. It's not the judgement. It's the expectations and lies. And denial, depending. "Closed minds".

As for being a "slave", you are and you're not. You're more then that and the other labels as well, depending on how another views you. If their perception of a slave is "doormat always doing as told" I would say they're looking for someone that rolls over unless they can change a situation with actions (and many a so called dom fail to do this). I much prefer someone uses force to change a situation which can also quickly lead to intimate events. It's ACTION. Not complaining. The difference speaks for itself. And a good dom doesn't complain or whine. They just do.

nuli​(sub female){Unkolared} • Oct 26, 2020

Buts it's more then that.
.let's use me as an example. When Owned He sets my limits, I am his property. I enter into that relationship knowing this! He picks what I wear if he desires. Yet I am told he could kill me if he so desires! I am stupid for wanting/craving that. I have pointed out more die in a nilla abuse then BDSM but they fail to see that.

I enjoy pain. A shocking amount of pain. Hell I got a brand and loved it. I am told some seriously messed up shit because of that.

Or when a newbie is asking questions. I have watched a Dom berate then and ask them what right do you have to call yourself a Master.

It goes beyond just the do you and let live. Being judged over ones kinks and desires or how they want to live and be. In a lifestyle that is so outside of the box. You think we would be more accepting of other people's kinks.

shortylotus​(dom female) • Oct 26, 2020

It does seem like there are a lot of people who are judgemental towards brats. They act like we are evil soul sucking critters of the bdsm world. We take our victims at gun point and force them to let us serve or be served. Even if this was true we need to remember that brats need love also 😇

Taramafor​(sub male) • Oct 26, 2020

Not sure if you brought this up due to concern for safety or simply pointing out that he can if he wants too knowing in all likelihood he won't.

"If he desires" are the key words. If I desired to kill you I might too. If I want to burn the world and take you out I can. I have no such desire, but IF I desired it I COULD. But this is also like saying "If I desired to stick a needle in my eye I could". I COULD but what would be the point? (get it? Point. Needle. Cough).

It could easily be a "playful threat". Who destroys what is there's that they find pleasure end entertainment in? And if you fail to provide that then you're more likely to be tossed aside then anything. Which could be worse then threats at your life (I've legit turned around threats into intimacy myself. Presence makes things possible). People that judge are afraid. Their fear consumes them. Their own weakness and inability holding them back. Thier own closed minds putting them in danger, as well as others. Their problem unless they're around me consistently. That it's an issue. one to be discussed. But with logic to pry open their closed mind.

Maybe we are "evil". But I'll take that over "good" any day. I know the "twisted fucked up monster" I am. And that others are with me. Fuck the ignorant and close minded and remind anyone claiming the moral high ground that watching people get shot to death is considered fun and entertainment. Playing the fucked up card with me will only lead to how fucked up normal is. And how it can be harmful. Context with X situation. Context with Y. Good is bad and bad is good and both can be either. Or even neither. All because of context. Better to make it about action and reaction. How both positive and negative results can happen and vary. Very much dependent on X persons response to a situation.

Mama Bear JJ​(dom female){koa} • Oct 26, 2020

I've experienced judgment, and borderline if not actual bullying, on this site when it comes to some things, some are kink related and some were specific to me in the context of those kinks ...

There have been comments and statements made regarding my weight in the context of my profile pics, how I shouldn't share them while others who aren't larger should be allowed to, as well as my choice to explore rope play ... that I'm too fat for rope and too fat for rigging. If I choose to explore it and it works for me, or find someone willing to work with me, that's my and their choice. My weight is irrelevant.

There have been comments and statements about my, mental health in general and in the context of the lifestyle, my lack of filter and openness when it comes to talking about anything and everything including my kinks and fetishes, as well as me being a strong woman who stands up for myself and others and refusing to be a doormat in accordance with someone's views on what a "sub" should be.

There have also been comments and statements regarding my choice to be with older men ... specifically Daddy's, my choice to get to actually to know someone before entering a dynamic or engaging gin anything sexual, my choice to be monogamous and not entertain dynamics with those that are poly/dating/married , my choice to start out online only, and my preference to have a contract that clearly establishes wants, needs, expectations, and boundaries/limits,

There have been frequent judgments, comments, and statements about me being a middle, both intentionally and unintentionally when it comes to what it is. Assumptions are made based on the ideas they have on their head or porn that they've seen ... DDlg isn't incest play, at least not the majority who engage in it. I'm a middle when I'm doing middle things and I'm an adult when I'm doing adult things.

It's not just from individuals either, I think there is a feeling unintentional judgment from the site itself. There is no Daddy/Mommy/little/middle roles for us to use ... it creates a feeling that those roles aren't considered part of the lifestyle or accepted. There are also narrow rules in place that prevent those in those roles from sharing things that are common and acceptable for them while everyone else can share whatever they want when it comes to their roles/kinks.

An example would be sharing meme's and gif's with children to express a mood or activity or other relevant things with nothing sexualized about it whatsoever ... that is common for littles/middles to do and share with each other and with their partners, but they can't here, while subs and slaves can share the meme's and gif's that represent those same things in any context, sexual or otherwise. And before anyone goes off on that ... the rules are broader and allow non-sexualized meme's and gif's featuring children on DDlg based sites despite those sites being kink/fetish based like this one is. Broader rules are possible to allow us to be who we are and express our roles without crossing a line that is illegal or immoral. Thinking that isn't possible or wrong is a judgment of the roles and the DDlg community.

Everyone is different. Everyone is different races, ages, and sizes. Everyone has different roles, and different levels within them. Everyone has different kinks, fetishes, toy preferences. Someone not liking those those differences personally doesn't make the other person wrong or them better/more right.

Respecting those differences shouldn't even be an issue in a community of adults, especially kinky ones in a lifestyle that is supposed to inherently be non-judgmental.

nuli​(sub female){Unkolared} • Oct 26, 2020

[quote="shortylotus"]It does seem like there are a lot of people who are judgemental towards brats. They act like we are evil soul sucking critters of the bdsm world. We take our victims at gun point and force them to let us serve or be served. Even if this was true we need to remember that brats need love also 😇[/quot

Wait you mean you aren't??? Lol I don't mind brats. I honestly can say I don't understand most of what a brat does but I don't judge you for what makes you ...you

nuli​(sub female){Unkolared} • Oct 26, 2020

I say fuck em if they say you are to "big" who decided that??? As for the memes etc. I can understand why it's not allowed. And honestly it's NOT for any other reason that there are truly sick and disgusting people in this world who abuse children. Those memes draw their attention plus the attention of cops fbi whoever. Our lifestyle is considered abuse without the added disgusting scum brought into it. And before you get upset I KNOW that's not what the littles/middles are doing. I KNOW that's not what the Daddy's and Mommy's of said kink are doing. But in today's age it's a fight to get that understood. A fight I am sure most people don't wanna fight to be able to live their lives as they wish.