Total Power Exchange - What do you enjoy about it?

Total Power Exchange - What do you enjoy about it?

Fernweh​(sub female) • Nov 30, 2020

To me, TPE is, I would almost say, the most important dynamic of the relationship.
I enjoy passing the authority of certain, previously negotiated parts of my life over to my Dom. There’s something so powerful about being able to trust someone to the extent of allowing them to make decisions for you, and knowing they make those decisions with my best interest at heart.
It’s a very meaningful dynamic that provides an incredible amount of happiness to me. On top of that, it makes me feel safe. My two safe places are likely in a TPE relationship and having my neck in a belt!
I’ve had discussions with someone people who asked me: “Why are you making yourself a mindless *beep* to your partner?”. I don’t think that’s what I do. I am smart, opinionated, and independent in my everyday life. I DO NOT want to be that way in relationships. I choose to surrender; it makes me happy and feels safe. Besides that, no outside person would notice, for the most part. They would probably think, we’re old-fashioned.

Some rules I enjoyed in previous relationships:
By the way, it’s funny that some of those I’ve done before I found out that TPE is a thing!
- Kneeling at the start of each session to Dom’s right
- Dominant has complete access over my body at any time and location
- No panties for easy access
- Being shaved at all times
- If the Dom is around, showers are taken together
- Orgasm restriction. Sub will rarely come without Dom’s permission.

- Wearing the agreed upon, subtle symbol of ownership
- Personalized greeting
- Sub will walk on the right side of Dom (I am partially deaf – right ear)
- Sub will not open doors herself.
- Texting a picture of myself each morning. checking in at noon, in the evening, and before going to sleep. Otherwise, sub will stay accessible via text message to Dom as work/social activities permit.
- In restaurants, the sub will communicate her meal preference, and Dom will consider and order for both parties
- The Dom buys the groceries, the sub cooks (most days)
- Sub will not alter her appearance unless permission has been received.

Off-limits are my career (my job and my freelance business), my finances (they are healthy), and time with my family and friends. Everything else is up for discussion/negotiation. Side note: I negotiate for a living, so good luck!

I’d love to chat about this topic and see why you enjoy TPE and what your favorite rules are!

Tthomas • Nov 30, 2020

Very good topic.
I was asked by a friend (female) Why did I want to be in a relationship with such a weak willed individual ? My reply was that she did not understand the dynamic and that _______ had a stronger will than both you and I put together.


Some rules from past relationships.

Panties are not to be worn unless I want them or if granted permission.
Being trimmed a specific way for an event. Sometimes it is different.
Sub will edge every day. she may ask for relief but its at my discretion.
Sub will always walk building side if on a street.
In public I will always be a gentleman and sub will be a lady. Unless plans change and opportunity exists.
When going out sub will present three outfits as options to wear. I will pick which one.
Sub will always be available to text....or call when it is an option.
I will text Good Morning, Good Night and throughout the day.
I will ask for pictures some days.
When I want a change her hairstyle I will ask for three options.
When punishment is called for it will fit the offense. I have good examples.
During sex or a scene, sub will always ask permission to cum. Sometimes it is given other times it is delayed.
When given permission to cum sub will tell me she is cumming.
I ask always for her to tell the truth when I ask a question. That is so hard for people.

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} • Nov 30, 2020

I slowly drift away from people who tell me that being in a TPE makes you worthless or giving up full control makes you unattractive (my last 'Dom') They are not correct. They just can't shelter the burden of being the ultimate force of balance in one's life. That is what TPE is for me.

I play that shit guessing game all day long at work, I take charge, I make the right decisions and I make my bosses millions of dollars... hopefully soon to be all for myself (evil chuckle) but that is not what I love doing, that is how I survive. Dont get me wrong, I love aspects of it and find my job thrilling and exciting, but the sheer energy it takes to be in the best state of mind to own it, is not something that I can keep up with 24/7. I am much the same as you, my work is pretty much off limits in my dynamic, I am very protective of it and have not found someone who can or wants to support that side of me.

That is where the balance comes in. I come home and I dont want to defend my every decision, I dont want to guess the outcome of the day. I dont want to lead my household to the best possible life it can be. Because it is not work. It doesn't need to be controlled or wrestled into line.

I read somewhere once that really helped me understand myself and how my submission works. I read that Bill Gates has 20 of the same grey shirt. He wears the same shirt to work everyday. When asked why, he said "because that is one less decision to make, and it makes me more grounded to not make that one seemingly simple decision, than all the decisions I will make today" (not a direct quote) and that is why I submit. I need that mental grounding. Someone who cares enough about me, that they want to shoulder every decision they can, to take away the burden I carry in my mind at every opportunity. In return I get that balance that there is that one person in the world that wants to give to me everything I need. That one person in the world I dont want to lead. That one person I trust enough to let lead me. I need it for all the littlest things, but the biggest one - my piece of mind.