How to approach

How to approach

Rosesub{Under cons} • Apr 7, 2021

As a sub, how is it best to approach a Dom? For example if you like one's profile? I am curious as I find it only appropriate for a Dom to seek a sub? What do you Doms prefer? Many thanks in advance.

House Talion​(dom male) • Apr 7, 2021

With respect, anything goes. If you see a Dom you like, tell them of your interest. Respect should be always be given till its negated

Miki​(masochist female) • Apr 7, 2021

I second that 'Talion dude's advice but want to add from personal experience, even though it was some time ago. (I no longer approach)

Unless you're at a Munch or similar gathering of kinks, doms or subs don't wear their roles on their sleeves. (Well I used to wear a pretty self-explanatory choker but still...)

Anyway, there's no longer any set rules for who approaches whom. I suggest general conversation with whoever you find and think is a dominant. Don't jump into the BDSM topic right off the bat. First engage the individual in ordinary conversation. Find out if your personalities click or seem like they'll click. Eventually their lifestyle choice will pop up, and by that time you'll know if the rest of the package is to your liking and vice versa, of course.

If you're in a "munch" scene, it's easier as most dominants will carry themselves in a strong manner and there's no guesswork like there would be in a "general public" situation. Still talk about "other stuff". See if a match could be in the cards, and go from there.

It's a process. Don't rush. That will oft lead one to grief and/or mountains of bullshit.

That's not to say sparks don't fly when eyes first meet, but that's not something that happens too often.

Aquilla{ • • •. [} • Apr 7, 2021

Agree with Talion, be honest, indicate interest and then have minimal expectations.
Waiting quietly to be found in the wilderness is no good. Light a signal fire.

CSI • Apr 7, 2021

Good question. I have tried both ways. I prefer that the dominant contact me, rather than vice versa (because then I feel as though I am dominating), but I get that because lots of insta-doms make first contact and female submissives get overwhelmed with the sheer number of people in their inbox that most dominants worth the time and title lean back and wait for the submissive to make contact to indicate interest. It really is like a high school dance. Each side of the slash on each side of the room hoping to get picked. If only we could just wish our intentions into fruition.

BNJRDSL​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2021

Yeah I agree with Talion
Approach, its ok

Race Bannon​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2021

I agree with Talon, make your interest known. And as Miki says, dont jump into the BDSM topic, let the Dom guide the conversation that way.

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dom daddie​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2021

if you like his profile press the like button and they will do the rest. just make sure he is not fake.

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dom daddie​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2021

you will be okay. hit me up