Sub responsibility doesn't exist on this site it seems.

Sub responsibility doesn't exist on this site it seems.

EclecticRhetoric​(dom male) • Mar 7, 2022

It is a clear bias on this site when it comes to the leverl of care and concern that members of this society place on those labled submissives. Submissives on the cage have to be protected. from abuse, nurtured, and spoon fed ideals only to proclaim they are going to unwiling claim their dedication to a dom. The correlation doesn't make sense. If i am judging someones level of submissiveness, wouldn't i want't know if the person is short-tempered.. I know there are more female submissives than male, but it isn't a gender issue its more of a logical one. I can't proclaim to be a dominant person if i am complaining to my submissive parnter how i am unable to do things, yet, it is ok for a sub to demand that she is entitled to this and that.

There are way too many submissives on this site that are clearly switch or pretend to be dominant in the interests of possibly being brats or just want something to prove. Also why come to a kink site if you don't like kink things. I have envaged in conversation with 2 women who don't like to perform oral sex because its taboo. They aren't saying it because they had a traumatic experince or anythin. They simply never did it, however, they are ok with being bound, gaged, and perform CNC scenes??? lost for words.

Zelia • Mar 7, 2022

Oh wow. This is something of a sweeping and deeply judgemental statement.
For the record, if someone doesn’t want to perform oral sex they don’t have to. Under any circumstances. Why would they?
Your post is astonishing.

Re: Sub responsibility doesn't exist on this site it seems.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Mar 7, 2022

I've snipped this down to get to what seems to be the gist of the complaint:


Are the observations and complaints you've detailed really meant to be the topic of a forum discussion? It reads more like angry/disappointed venting. If I've misinterpreted your intention, please advise.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Mar 7, 2022

Pretty broad generalizations you’re making here. I’m not sure what your statement about doms not being able to complain to their submissive that they are unable to things is all about. Doms and subs alike have the right and expectation to have their limits.

Also people don’t have to have had a traumatic experience with giving oral sex to not want to do it. There are sexual acts that I never want to try because they don’t appeal to me in any way. I’m sure you have some yourself.

Balthezor​(dom male) • Mar 7, 2022

I just get popcorn 🍿 for these because I love reading other peoples answers, it’s others experiences all of us can learn from, as well, we’re all different so it’s nice seeing all sides.

EclecticRhetoric​(dom male) • Mar 7, 2022

I am sorry this is the internet. there is always going to be someone to justify anything. I did not state not wanting oral sex is not a problem. i am stating you claim you are open and interested in bdsm and want taboo acts done how much sense does it make for you to trivialize a very vanilla act such as oral sex.

Venting is derived from what you proclaim it to be. when a man protests something it is venting, but when women state they are being stalked on here no one says that is venting. they offer words of encouragement and advice.

I am not comparing the two but information is information. If i said wow. i am tired of this guy keep sending me messages. i fear for my safety no one would say wow he is venting about getting too much attention.

clearly .. there is inequality .

CSI • Mar 7, 2022

I am confused as to where the responsibility lies.....if it is "your" submissive you are talking about, then I would expect you would have vetted/discussed/come to an agreement on what works best for both of you in a dynamic and you should absolutely already know what both of you are willing to engage in as well as your limits. If it is someone you are getting to know, then you are simply 2 people getting to know one another. You should be able to say "I don't want to get pegged" just as easily as they should be able to say "I don't like oral sex". Or "I want to be painted blue" versus "I don't want any public play". That's what getting to know the other is all about. What am I missing?

But if the problem is that someone won't publicly claim they belong to a particular dominant, that is way more personal and I am assuming both sides should continue vetting until both are comfortable, or the upset party should cut ties and be done.

CSI • Mar 7, 2022

Also, please pass the popcorn

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Mar 7, 2022

But you *did* say this in your initial post: "Why come to a kink site if you don't like kink things?" That implies that every woman you engage in a conversation with should be willing to indulge whatever *you* have a personal preference for or what *you* deem to be a de facto requirement for them to fulfill on *your* behalf and on *your* command.

The best doms are effective communicators and it seems that might be a stumbling block for you - a hurdle you need to get over perhaps. That's my contribution to what you consider to be a "discussion topic". Wishing you better luck in the future though.

heartlesslover​(sub female) • Mar 7, 2022

Are the subs you’re referring to actually demanding things? Or are they setting boundaries? Everyone is entitled to boundaries, doesn’t matter the gender or side of the / you’re on.