What to do? What to do?
I have found myself not in a relationship again here recently and longing.
I have stated to question myself about what to do during the in-between times.
Do I just close the chest or do I take care of myself? I have all the toys and fun things. I have even played with them and myself, but it's just not the same as having a partner.
In regards to finding a partner it just seems as though a lot of people are flaking out, ghosting, or they like the idea of a connection or relationship just not actually being in one.
Feeling frustrated.
Any thoughts?
Keep looking not for a person but for your passion, Your Love, Your Courage, Your goals, your Dreams., your happiness, yourself. keep looking. Explore your worth before you explore another. know your worth. Know yourself only then will you know what you need over what you want. You need yourself to become your own.
Life is all about balance , Balance is not something you find ,It's something you create. Balance is the key to everything. What we do think say , Meeting them all requires awareness and through this awareness we can grow.
This is something that always stumps me also. I don’t tend to find any satisfaction in playing with myself because for me personally the very point of play is about the connection. Beyond masturbating, I close my toy box (metaphorically lol, I don’t actually own many toys).
So I tend to try to just look after myself as best as possible, focus on health in all aspects- dietary, exercise, mental, emotional, spiritual. Consistency is a struggle for me though, so just trying to do that seems to take up a lot of focus. I find the biggest thing that helps is finding something that gives me purpose again. A goal. Study. Volunteering. Gardening. Having that sense of working towards something for a purpose greater than myself, I have found to be invaluable in maintaining a sense of equilibrium. More recently I’m also trying to remember to just do things that bring joy into my life also, for no other purpose than because they’re enjoyable… not for educational purposes or skills or betterment… just good old fashioned fun
Hope this helps.
The "in between times", I spend on self care, taking care of me . What gives me pleasure both physically, mentally and emotionally. Not only so when the time is right I can share that with my partner but also it enables me to be in a good place to take care of him.
Well.......don't do what I did a couple of decades ago. I closed the toybox and dove in to work and made myself additional work projects to fill my time. While those were fruitful as far as personal achievement, I ended up still nowhere in the romance department. Ha ha.
Keep yourself busy with life's other pursuits. Hobbies, projects, or just taking in Nature.. or not taking in nature and seeing what's on TV or in a book you might have meant to read for some time now.
The key is as already written somewhere up there, be patient. Don't force the issue, and don't get into the feedback loop of "longing" yet not having anyone to play with.
This is a lot like "rebound" Or maybe is the same thing.. But it leads to less than well-thought-out decisions.. Going to shit-holes looking to find a jewel someone flushed down the proverbial crapper.
Odds are you'll walk out of there with something hanging onto your arm you ordinarily wouldn't enjoy scraping off your shoe.
I've heard, from a male perspective that one might gnaw one arm off to get free from an ugly woman in the morning after. But from a female perspective I've not heard of being scraped off one's shoe. There have been bad times in my life,but fortunately I've never been shoe scraping material. Thank God for small miracles.
Oh Steve, sometimes you gotta just...put the chest down and walk away. A single tear falls and you think...we'll be together again soon. Real soon.
On the dark side of it, unfortunately, women don't NEED men as they did once upon a time. It's a hard pill to swallow, I know. Because I've swallowed it myself.
Stop looking. Start working more on your other passions. A woman doesn't complete you. Hell no. You are already complete. And even if you're not...yet. You will be.
And when you least expect it. She'll be right in front of you. Will you know what to do? Of course you will!!! You're Steve, goddammit! And all will be right in the universe.