Edging/holding back an orgasm

Edging/holding back an orgasm

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • Nov 13, 2022

Because im naturally curious:
How does one manage to hold back an orgasm? I've read books about the Dom bringing their subs to the brink of an orgasm and then telling them that if they cum there will be a punishment. I've seen Tiktok where it's been discussed. Rationally I don't understand how to tell my body to withdraw from an orgasm when I'm so damn close. I know I can edge myself and the feeling is intense, but I can stop myself. With another person, you can only do so much.
Is it possible or is it one of those situations that punishment is eniviatable because it's not possible

Secret Mind​(dom male) • Nov 13, 2022

Your talking about the orgasm control/ denial kink.
It is possible to hold yourself back from having an orgasm. It's all about mindset and practice. Some people are super good at it while others can't control it for a single second.
Yes, sometimes punishment is inevitable. That's kind of the hidden main goal of the dominant in the first place. I know it's cruel and evil. But sometimes I just can't help it myself. It's all in good fun nothing serious.

subblueforyou{No} • Nov 13, 2022

Well in my own experience I couldn’t control my orgasms they felt good but I did not last for long. I then discovered the JOI and Red light Green light videos and over time I was able to control my orgasms for longer and longer times. Some of the videos are quite long and challenging and I still fail but my orgasms are much more intense. I also end up with ruin orgasms sometimes when I don’t stop in time.

I also agree that punishment is also inevitable sometimes but can also be fun too.

Miki • Nov 13, 2022

When I was edged, the punishment angle didn't work. That's what I was after, after all. But delaying an orgasm so as to eventually experience a much stronger one, and even squirt.... I found it useful to think of something that sucked--- and I don't mean sexual "suck"-- I mean shitty or semi-shitty aspects of the Day-to-Day. Usually work-related, or personal shit like a bill coming due soon--- Mundane crap like that. It definitely delayed the orgasm.


I think it works for dudes, too who wanna hold back the MANnaise, hump longer and blow more Redi-Whip as his nuts got charged up....

Try that.

For many women it's the opposite... Usually a half-ass orgasm, or none at all, without a proper mindset, especially if they happen to be with a guy who is not quite what she was hoping for at the beginning of the night.

Happens all the time, and I'm sure guys feel the same when they're at the dive bar too close to closing time and the "take-home" selection is down to broads who will always look better in the dark.

I digress. Give distraction a shot... But if you're into the whole punishment and humiliation thing like I was when more active, it's hard as hell to not get off.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Nov 13, 2022

When I was just learning how to do it, I would physically distract myself like hitting myself with a crop or digging my fingernails into my thighs. Something to get my mind focused elsewhere. There were times that I had to beg my Dom to stop edging me because I knew I was going to cum.
During times when he was edging me he would reiterate to me that as long as I am his I can’t cum without his permission. I would repeat that and my desire to please him would override my desire for my own physical pleasure. The goal for him was not to have me fail and be punished, but to have me practice and train enough so that now I don’t need to even think about stopping myself from having an orgasm without his permission. It just can’t happen. I’ve even tried to make myself orgasm before without having his permission and I couldn’t do it. My orgasms are truly his to give or deny me. It’s something that doesn’t really seem possible until you experience it.
At first it takes practice and you might mess up but it’s worth it to work towards in my opinion. Now we’ve moved on to other challenges like prolonged orgasms. I can’t even begin to express how much fun I’m having with those!

Solace​(dom male) • Nov 13, 2022

The general response here is to distract oneself or focus on something less arousing. While I cannot speak for others this is not my tact. I actually focus on my manhood, and while it may sound ridiculous I have learned to an extent to control its level of stimulation devoid of the act. This is not flawless, it requires significant focus and I've had ladies change tact or vigor on an activity thus ruining my efforts. Not so secretly I imagine this was their goal.

For ladies under my care I make it a simple matter of practice. Mandatory evening or morning self "care" sessions where they have to message me for permission. If they want to finish, they have to learn how delay and then resume at full pace. Additionally for ladies seeking to improve in this regard its helpful to have a gateway phrase either from themselves or their Dom. A gateway phrase is a thought, or a few words said aloud that are practiced right before each finish. I.e. one of my romantic partners would say "I'm yours" right before and as she finished, and several others have become accustomed to being ordered to with a single consistent phrase.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Nov 13, 2022

If you are curious about how it's possible in theory, I'd say it's kind of a matter of motivation. Do you want to control your orgasms/have them controlled by someone else? And why? Perhaps the greatest motivator is pleasure, yours or someone else's. So find what provides that pleasure and make that your focus: pleasing yourself or your partner, satisfying a denial kink, breaking a record, avoiding punishment, staying awake, chastity, bragging rights, etc. Whatever goal would bring you pleasure.
If you are curious about how it is possible in practice, I would imagine that you'd have to answer the same questions for yourself, and there must also be some motivation, but in that case surely there are some physical and mental techniques - but not being a female or a sub I couldn't begin to tell you what those are.

LordofPain56 • Nov 14, 2022

Just for foreplay, I have tried using a short rubber flogger to her ass while she was standing in a spread-eagle bondage position so that I could use the other hand to rub a vibe/dildo on her sweet spot. By cracking the tails of the flogger at her ass, I believed it might be enough of a distraction to keep her from cumming until I let up on the whip.
There are those times when I couldn't tell, so I would wait till she orgasmed (maybe the second time if it wasn't the first) and I would continue stimulation to her clit till she went absolutely crazy. Another good reason I always put her in tight stretching bondage positions so she can't tear out the wrist-cuffs from the bondage frame. It's so much fun to watch her suffer horrible cruelty then shift immediately into exxxtacy.

Chalybe​(dom male) • Nov 14, 2022

I'm with LOP. I made a stand for a magic wand, as she gets closer the flogging intensifies. When she gets real close I back the wand off and lean into it. Eventually I let her go over the falls - but she is being flogged or cropped or paddled while she has her O. This associates pain with the O and with pleasure in general. The end goal is to cause arousal and possibly even an O from just impact play.
I guess the main point is the pain backs her off a notch or two.

Curtain Call​(dom male) • Nov 14, 2022

At the risk of sounding like a troll... "You do it because you will be in a world of hurt if you do not."

My point is, I have a lot of experience with this. When women have had trouble holding off, frankly, I hurt them. Or I stopped what I was doing. Or, mostly, I was very adamant that they were not allowed to come.

I guess it just takes practice and an attentive, experienced Dom. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it until it becomes an issue. And when it does...well, you'll know. At that point...happy play and good luck.