What's a Sadist

What's a Sadist

Lynngk​(sadist female) • Jan 2, 2023

a Sadist. From My point of view because I am one is someone who enjoys giving someone pain like spanking hitting all kinds of things I really do like sissys Thats a trun on seeing a guy dressed and treated him like a dog .being mean to them ect. I know I not as bad as some sadist are but we all are different in our likes and trun ons so what your thoughts about it?

Kurai Mori​(dom male) • Jan 2, 2023

I think, therefore I am a sadist?

For me, being a sadists isn't about the enjoyment of giving pain, but rather the stimulation that comes from the creation of the emotion of discomfort in the person suffering. Being able to see the build up of fear in my partner/victim. And being able to draw some satisfaction from bringing that to their surface - is what, in my opinion, gives me pleasure as a sadist.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 2, 2023

Depends on what definition one prefers to use. But the actual definition of a "sadist" as exist both in and outside of BDSM, is an individual who derives pleasure from the overall suffering of a victim, generally pain and torment that they, a masochochist for example, do NOT enjoy or want.

To that end, "masochist" or not, I steer clear of anyone who describes themselves as a "sadist" or has a "sadist mode".

Being a masochist is not an open invitation to "Beat me, create massive bruises, break bones, cut me up, torture me, make me fear for my life".

That (IMHO anyway) is not so much a masochist as someone who needs professional help because they have a death wish, even deep down.

There are simply WAY too many sickos out in the world to risk that shit.

But hey, "That's Just Me"

Your mileage may vary,

But drive carefully!

I'mME • Jan 2, 2023

@Miki

A sadist in BDSM is different in that all important area of consent (as opposed to someone who may not be into BDSM) and masochists like pain. Sadists and masochists still should negotiate.
There are also emotional sadist, and that opens up yet another piece of the conversation.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jan 2, 2023

i think descriptors like "Sadist" or "masochist," like pretty much every other kink moniker, are general terms that need to be individually fleshed out.

i'm not into pain or a lot of what is practiced or expressed in S/m.

To me, if a desire/kink/need is not mutual, it's a hard pass because those things represent our most vulnerable, intimate parts and i see them as connecting places. That can get complex because one persons pleasure is another persons poison, so back to the 'individually fleshed out" point.

i don't see myself as generally masochistic, but then one of my deeper bonding places is "degradation/humiliation." But it's pretty specific i typically qualify: "affectionate degradation/humiliation," in an effort to attract one type Man while keeping another type away. Meanness, bullying, force, all shut me down, so i don't connect to the person exercising them at all, quite the opposite. But there is a kind of mind fucky degradation/humiliation that has a polar opposite effect on me and elicits submission and even a feeling of adoration.

i've come to realize that my feelings of degradation/humiliation are real, but culturally conditioned responses. So, while i may be feeling degraded and humiliated, i am also simultaneously feeling wanted and affirmed by the Person who sees and wants/needs those things in me and knows how to elicit and control them... so a deep connection and bond can happen.

maidtoorderforYou​(masochist trans woman){Yes} • Apr 8, 2023

The emotional discomfort is the thing. it has failed as a functional person and needs the emotional, physical, spiritual and mental control and being kept off balance by its Owner.