Sex Clubs has me questioning myself

Sex Clubs has me questioning myself

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • Mar 13, 2023

The 11th was the very first time I have ever been to a club, let alone a sex club. I was supposed to meet up with a friend that I knew from the Sex Club website, bit when I got there I couldn't find him. I sat awkwardly in the lobby hoping that he'd come to find me.
During that time, a 1st timer came up to me and we starting bsing over the life style. Even though he is 14 years older than me, it was clear that he knew very little about what the club had to offer and what the lifestyle is like. I answered to the best of my ability what I could and eventually we wandered the club to see what we could find. He was wanting to watch couples fuck and I was still hoping to find my friend.
My new friend and I ended up watching people fuck. That was a first for me and it turned me on. I typically hate watching and listening to porn so I was shocked I liked watching people fuck in front of me.
After an hour or so of watching other people and trying to find my friend, I ended up finding him. He swooped me away from my new friend and took me around the club telling me about how he thought I had ditched him.
We ended up finding our way to the private room area of the club and when he realized that he wasnt going to be able to get us a room, he ended up having me giving him a Bj in the middle of the room (another first). After he was satisfied with it, he dragged me out to where all the crosses and tables were he hand me drop to my knees and give him another BJ. This time with more people around. Someone made a comment about wanting to borrow me to their own pleasures and my friend whispered about possibly having me crawl over to the other people and offering to give them Bjs too. Instead of actually making good on that, he had me stand up and proceeded to finger fuck me, making a mess of me in the process.
After that scene, he proceeded to drag me to the private room area where he attempted to find a room to no luck. Eventually after some time he found another couple that he wanted to join us in the couples room. That other couple took a couch while he managed to snatch up one of the beds.
During this he ended up having me give him a Bj, where he then proceeded to fuck me in a room of at least 6 other couples and some people watching in the window (another first). While he fucked me, a girl from one of the couples came over to get a closer look at us and another girl that was in there came over. She started talking to me in the midst of my whimpers and moans as I was being railed on my side. "Does it feel good?" Had me even wetter than before. Part of me was hoping she would touch me while I was being fucked (another first). I had never wanted to kiss a girl so bad before. While he continued on his rampage, she turned to him and started directing him to fuck me. Telling him to go deeper. To go harder. Which he did. The combination of her voice and him following along was absolutely bliss.
When he came and I layed there trying recuperate, he decided to give me a break. We made our way out on the dance floor where he bs'ed with some people he knew. I stayed tucked into his side, nodding when it felt necessary, but rationally I felt awkward.
He tried to take me back into a room, staff ended up blocking it off for some reason so he dragged me over to a couch where I blew him again. He paged two girls that had been in the conversation earlier and asked if they wanted to join me. They hopped in and all 3 of us blew him (another first). After a bit, he pulled me up to kiss him when he asked if I was okay with the situation. I was. At that point he paged a guy overall and then asked if I wanted to please BBC. I told him I did and he had me blow his friend (another first).
After I blew his friend, he ended up playing with me while a bunch of people watched. I learned then that I am very loud and reactive to touch.

After all that, that was the best night of my life. So many first and now questioning my sexuality too. When I got home to my fiance, he asked about it. I tried to tell him he didn't want to know, but he swore he did. Of course after telling him, he got upset because that's stuff I won't do with him.

So how does one justify doing all those things with someone else because their partner isn't into bdsm. He wants a 2 female 3some. I would never have considered it beforehand. Now im telling my friend to ask that girl if she wants to play with me.
I've tried to explain how I feel about but I know he doesn't listen because I get him constantly repeating the same thing

Miki • Mar 13, 2023

Well.. sounds like an interesting experience. However doing it "with other people" in an open setting and being watched ---- (that is titillating as I am the exhibitionist type wen I am active which is not now) ----- Fucking and sucking a stranger, and doing things you won't do with your fiance sounds kind of normal, at least in the context of some circles that state humans are not wired deep down to be monogamous.


I know I am certainly not, hence I never even considered relationships with one individual as even a remote possibility. That dog won't hunt.

But what I was supposed to get to a few sentences back is it does not sound like it's something you did necessarily because your partner isn't into this twisted shit, because your rather detailed description of your ... romp... didn't mention anything particularly kinky except perhaps doing blow jobs and getting screwed with strangers watching. Perhaps it was the novelty and adventure of what goes on in a "sex club".

I actually never heard of those before but likely because of my location or that I never really was curious about those types of places.

--------------------------

Either way, what was noticeable about this whole thing was what you said regarding a partner not being into freaky shit.. I will presume it is Mister Fiance.

"Kink to ordinary" (I dislike the word "vanilla"-- strikes me as just a wee bit condescending.) -----Those relationships are doomed to fail eventually, because one who is not into this crap cannot be made to embrace it, and the other, whichever partner who is into BDSM is loath to give it up. At least not for long. it's in our DNA.

What eventually happens is the one who is not into BDSM but does it to make the other happy eventually gets so turned off they say they are done with it (or not) and the choice is "Me or the kink." (Or in the case of "or not" they take off never to return.)

Long winded but I guess it can be summed up even more efficiently:

"It's No Good If You Gotta Force it."

So what you likely learned on your wild night of boinking and BJs is ---maybe--- the engagement is not too swift an idea.

I'd give it a pile of serious thought before this oil-and-water engagement becomes a lousy marriage only a divorce lawyer would love.

*****************

As always, just my thoughts. Your results may vary/

House Talion​(dom male) • Mar 17, 2023

Nice experience, but nothing I'd call bdsm. I'd say get another girl n with her go to town on your fiance like you did for your freind.

Bunnie • Mar 19, 2023

Is it an option to take your fiancé to the sex club too?
Why not explore it together?

I'mME • Mar 19, 2023

Op,

This sounds like a swingers event. I'm not getting where any lifestyle was involved.. I would be upset if i was your partner also. He doesn't get blow jobs?

Byrdie​(switch female){rl only} • Mar 20, 2023

"After he was satisfied with it, he dragged me out to where ALL THE CROSSES and tables were he hand me drop to my knees and give him another BJ."

Emphasis mine.

So, I've been to kink events, but rarely to purely sex parties. Is it common at sex parties to have crosses up, to have men dragging women around, to have the man ordering the woman to service him? That sounds a bit more kinky in the D/s realm of things.

But the OP did describe it as a sex club, so hey.

If your partner isn't as dominant as your friend, and you respond well to a more commanding presence, then I can see where the issue is. Indeed, you partner sounds more whiny than he does dominant.

There's a book by Easton and Lidst called "When Someone You Love is Kinky" that you might want to read together: it could help him understand why you're having different experiences with him than you are with your friend.

I'mME • Mar 20, 2023

*That sounds a bit more kinky in the D/s realm of things.*

What was described isn't D/s, although it may be what some people think things are like in a D/s relationship, if they aren't familiar and/or have any experience with D/s.
Sucking cock is an action not to be confused with being a submissive act. Is eating pussy a dominant or submissive act?

cherilynn​(sub female) • Mar 23, 2023

Are you sure you want to get married?

My thoughts...
I would give marriage and Mr. Fiance some serious consideration because it seems from reading your post that neither of you are getting your needs met from the other and both of you are going to get hurt in the long run if not already. I can really feel the seeds of resentment growing already in this situation.

I wish both you the best