SnowMinx(sub female){Owned}
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3 months ago •
Feb 1, 2024
Everything wrote: SnowMinx wrote: I think that what the original poster was asking of Doms has been overlooked. If your sub came to you with these concerns - what would you do to make her feel seen, valued, and safe?
Thank you for asking this. I think that situations like this require a lot of soft skills, and there isn't really a simple answer. In this situation I believe in making sure the space is safe. Thanking her for bringing this to me, telling her that her feelings are valid. I like to ask clarifying questions. Assumptions lead to misunderstandings. It helps both of us if she can find a name for what exactly is bothering her. If something hurts a lot I will verbalize "Ouch," because it's a good way to indicate hurt without being dramatic. Once everything has been aired it's helpful to practically identify things we can both do. Most concerns are not one way in my experience. When I bring up things with my sub it always involves some level of change from me as well. A lot of times we feel closer at the end of the conversation and the trust has been built. As we work to improve things I will validate her progress. "I've noticed how far you've come (with x.) I'm proud of you!" This usually takes weeks or months, but it's important to see the person for who they are, not their past mistakes. This should go both ways for a successful relationship. Hopefully this answers the question in a helpful way. I'm always growing at getting better at these situations too. Thank you for the in depth response. I was genuinely curious about the answer. 
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