D/S dynamic....Reality or myth?

D/S dynamic....Reality or myth?

Unapologetic • Feb 2, 2024

If you're like me, you did your homework before dipping your toe into the D/S world and you had some ideas about it. You were drawn to it for a reason.

I'm curious....did it live up to your expectations or were you disappointed?

Be honest!

K y i v • Feb 2, 2024

It is nothing like you read or imagine.
Because.. It I unique between those involved.
Like life there is good... Bad.. Sometimes beautiful... Sometimes ugly.

Your experience so far?

Unapologetic • Feb 2, 2024

I wish I could say it was everything I thought it would be but my experience was disappointing.

No one was who they said they were. But I guess you can experience that in any type of relationship.

K y i v • Feb 2, 2024

You can, real is rare I say.
Honest and sincere moves slowly is non sexual at first. You will both like and respect one another.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Feb 2, 2024

The main thing about a D/s relationship is this:

Every relationship is different.


Different people, different goals, different expectations

Different levels of communication.

While some of my different relationships did disappoint me, sometimes I disappointed them.

Overall though, I would say I have a better than average level of success.

D/s relationships are just like any other relationship you will have in life. Only kinker.

DoseofCam​(sub female){Owned} • Feb 2, 2024

Like @kyiv said every D/s dynamic is unique.

I got into the life style few months ago with the research, my expectations, and the imaginations I had in my mind.

I am currently in a D/s relationship and it was nothing like how i imagined it.
It’s even better.

To be honest, at first It was difficult lowering down my walls and letting my Daddy see the good, the bad, and the ugly.

But I think when you find the right Person they will love all your perfects and imperfects.

Not to mention the sex is fire

Uhh yeah anyways, my experience has been amazing so far.

It’s honestly like a relationship, just with more communications and toys haha

Unapologetic • Feb 3, 2024

Thank you guys for your feedback. It's great to hear that it's not all smoke and mirrors for everyone.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Feb 3, 2024

Good evening.

I think many who enter the community and lifestyles have a preconceived notion. In many cases, they view the lifestyle as a weekend special - something fun to do to spice up an otherwise bland existence. They have rose colored glasses on expecting to find the perfect little submissive who lives and breathes 24/7 with nothing but patience for their Dominant, kneeling and waiting with bated breath; or the submissive who is looking for the protagonist from any of the 50 Shades books or worse, the Story of O. Rich, powerful and all knowing.

And some individuals settle on the first drink of water instead of deciding whether who or what they are talking to is actually a good fit. Because as indicated above, everyone is unique and different. Even those of us who are similar, aren't the same. As DoseofCam and TopekaDom inferred, the better the communication the better the dynamic.

Me for me, I entered not knowing anything and I both realized that and told myself as much. I think I was fortunate in that I didn't know enough to impart preconceived notions. I entered with the intention of learning more. I'm still learning. But it is measuring up better than I expected. Probably because I'm trying to be patient.

Don't rush it. Enjoy the journey!

All the best!
LL

Spirited Red​(sub female){NL} • Feb 3, 2024

I started my journey with munches, socials and bdsm parties. I met my boyfriend and after a few months introduced him into the lifestyle. I was fortunate enough to grow with him from the bdsm side to a very deep d/s to m/s relationship that lasted 22 years. We had an awesome mentor couple that really showed us what it could be. It is something I hope that everyone that searches for that type of relationship gets to experience.

red.

Steellover​(sub male) • Feb 3, 2024

Overall dissapointing, but I don't think it's all that uncommon, and here's why.

For me, and I'm sure for a lot of guys it was the same- I was drawn into it by witnessing scenes from a documentary on BDSM with powerful females in charge and men in subservient and extremely compromising positions. The initial feelings were indescribably powerful. All kinds of kinks took hold. As a newbie, I found an overwhelmingly powerful sense of sub space and wanted to experience these things first hand, with the right partner.

But I hadn't "Done my homeowork" so to speak, so without a lot of knowledge I had a lot of preconceived notions about it that were incorrect, and in hindsight, didn't even stand up to common sense. Even after "doing my homework" and learning about BDSM, submission, and the varying relationship dynamics, of which there are many, finding "The Right Partner" has proven more difficult than I could ever imagine.

I suspect a lot of male subs are in this same boat. Either locked in the cycle of trying to find their dream domme, with unreasonable expectations, or trying to "Square peg, Round Hole" their vanilla relationship into a D/S and/or BDSM one with a partner who is not at all attracted to the idea.