Can you tell me about your first BDSM experience?

Can you tell me about your first BDSM experience?

Littlemxrysue​(masochist female) • Mar 1, 2025

I'm curious and a virgin I just know that I like and am extremely interested in BDSM but Im too afraid to try it ( I really want to be forced by someone stronger than me, making me unable to move or escape ) so I'm wondering how your first experience was and how do you find them?

SoftSoul​(masochist female) • Mar 1, 2025

I understand this is your desire, fine to have desire but you can never be forced it needs to be taken with caution and responsibility as an adult with safety.

I did this to grow learn explore educate one self find friends in the dynamic tested things tried things nothing intercourse was just trying things training should only be training save yourself for the right one with a connection like that what I did. OLD school dating dynamic - all it takes is time to get to know people safely.

Why is it good to wait?
If you don't want an unplanned pregnancy or getting an STD, good to practice safe sex and learn that sex can wait, educate yourself first, the basic stuff then the dynamic. Wait til you're more secure and stable mentally and physically with someone. Can only be when its right want a right connection it will not feel good unless the right mind soul connection with growth someone going to stay have a relationship. Unless you have support from friends and family also but only share with who you trust also. Other things have more than one role slave does have more rights so good to be a sub and slave still a human but even as slave and sub you have a mind.




My first Master and I waited 6 months before we did anything, we were friends growing more in a connection.

But as you are just starting and new to things, it is good to do things slow. Yes, over the age of 18 only should mature eyes dissension only - Ravage is a whole other story - it should only be with someone you build a connection with over time, someone you meet and get to know online then in real life, building a friendship that grows into something more.

Talk of agreed on with safe sane consent in a scene first practice work up to. I just don't want to deal with creeps. I merely force it, nothing can be forced. The good ones grow and take their time. An adult has to be responsible, educated in the lifestyle, Read laws, Learn of safe and made in contract, At anytime a contract can be broken , Both people hold the key Master and Sub has to be team work effect one can not do alone has to be a bond with trust before anything. You need to feel the need to speak up as a woman part of being submissive keep your attitude its your love language someone should make you feel calm and protected want to stay.

But this something doesn't wake say this what I'm gonna do this something created and molded over time with growing with experience over time takes days months and years. Been down this road a long time, you have to be protective of your heart and selective about who you bring into your life and time and who you want to share it with.

This something can not be treated as a fetish but more of an art of respect fine to have a fetish but save for someone willing to take the time some things fine to share but don't give out to much good to find those on the same level value and respect. It takes a year and meeting a few times until really getting to know someone. I'm not saying you have to wait a lifetime, just the first step as adults in the Dynamic with growth - always do it with safety.

A connection that is rare cannot be forced, has to be in the right vibration and align two souls. One alone can not do it, both have to feel the same. The first meeting is to see if you have a connection, if you both click a second date will grow the connection. Sex can wait as its good to wait until your more secure with yourself and your life with someone together don't do it just because you did it when its right.

With caution - safe, sane consent - everything in life, even in vanilla and BDSM dynamic everything needs to be out of consent for safety. It is good to educate one self in the Dynamic lifestyle before engaging in anything with Safety. Nothing should ever be forced.



BDSM dynamics are not merely based on sex - it's about love, trust and a bond between two people that grows and builds a connection over time. But when the love gets deeper, it's more out of the intimacy these two people share and the bond they have with passion and out of love. But everything is done with safe, sane consent when the time is right.

S&M Sadism and Masochism -
also do it with safety safe and sane with respect and caution everything agreed on just because you see it read it does mean will be the same once you get in the ring the real thing its a different story you need to find what like what you are in to with the right partner that respects you finding your limits as well. Not all pain is the same, some is soft and some is hard.
You have to find out if you like soft, medium, or hard. Practice with care.

Can be worked up to soft. But a woman needs to be pleased and romanced before doing more to get aroused and more to take punishment.
But don't just say you like it cause you never did you get injured someone has no experience this why experience is needed. Why aftercare is needed with medical attention by the partner. Nothing that should be done out of hate or anger needs to be done out of love and safety with protection being guided.


Be careful with your heart and with respect setting valid boundaries. Everything has to be agreed on and discussed with safety and respect. Always put value in life. There is a time and place for everything.

Erotica and stories are great for learning, but arousal alone does not create a real connection or love and relationship . Don't fall for the fake connection with Casanova pretend love not real only lust no love no trust can this not love this only a game. (Real arousal is when someone grows a connection over time slowly not in a rush.
Intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is 'you're safe with me' - that's intimacy"

When you like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily…..One who understands this, understands life….
— Buddha

♡ Real love is pushing someone to be better but not forcing them to change. ♡

One of the true tests of manhood is trying to love a woman the right way, going all in and being accountable to her and your family.

Keep looking not for a person but for your passion, Your Love, Your Courage, Your goals, your dreams, your happiness, yourself. Keep looking. Explore your worth before you explore another. Know your worth. Only by knowing yourself will you know what you need over what you want. You need to become your own. Dance, sing, read, to each other, breathe together - communicate. Don't count on sex as the door to intimacy. It's the other way around first to develop intimacy skills . Then make love to enjoy them. We all have a story. And no matter how much work you've done on yourself. We all snap back together. So be easy on yourself. Growth is a dance. Not a light switch.


Everything that is earned cannot just be given, it has to be an exchange of energy out of respect and trust shown over time. When someone takes the time to get to know you slowly is more of a connection someone showing the blue prints and effect not rushing in to anything as rushing in to anything is not real connection real love is more slow with growth.

Never lower self just for anyone for bump in the night know your value and respect never settle for anything less. Do better become the partner you seek date yourself respect thy self in return what you want. I guess it all depends if you talk for hours, still talk on the phone til the next day meet also and have dinner and wine but I would not call it a fling I would just say great connection and chemistry for a longer time down the road. Gotta be more sex in the soul selective someone loves a soul mind and soul body comes last just after a body and looks no soul no nothing.

Safe sex is not always wearing a condom, it's being careful who you mix your soul with.

Find a great friendship first before the relationship and love department. Grow with connection, time and laughter, go out and do things you're courted into. Yeah anyone can want you but it takes that one special person to value you. Keep it with connection being yet a mystery, share little til mutual trust. Someone that you can talk to for hours, really clicks with your soul and takes the time to get to know you, that kind of spark. Romance over time later worked into friendship and courtship.


Wait. Don’t settle. Please don’t settle. Wait for the person who not only is the one worth waiting for, but wait for the person who makes you realize why it didn’t work out with anyone else.
Don’t settle for someone just because you want a significant other, or because you need a warm body to keep you company when you’re lonely. Don’t settle for someone just to have someone.
You deserve to wait. To wait for someone who genuinely likes the sound of your laugh. Who adores the way they feel when you look up at them. Who laughs at your corny jokes. Who makes you feel wanted and needed. Who makes you feel like you are the only person in the room when you are with them.
You don’t deserve to be someone’s option.
So wait. Take your time. Don’t jump in head first. Don’t rush. Because one day, it will happen.
You will meet people who won’t push you to do things that make you uncomfortable. You will meet a person who texts you back, who asks you questions about your life and family and passions. You will meet a person who loves you with their whole heart, and who isn’t afraid to shout it to the world.
Don’t just settle for someone just because you don’t think you are worthy of real love. You are worth big, great love. Love that lifts you up when you are in pain. Love that challenges you to be a better person. Love that doesn’t ever give up on you.
So wait.
And once you find that person who just gets you and everything that you do, you’ll understand. You’ll finally comprehend why it didn’t work out with any other human being. Why did something always go wrong? Why it always fall short?

You’ll finally understand that everything you went through, ultimately led you to this person. And you’ll be grateful for all of the pitfalls and losses. You’ll be grateful for all the times you felt unsure or lost. You’ll be so grateful for the times when you didn’t settle. For the times when you said no. For the times you waited.

Because one day, this person will walk into your life and everything will just click. And everything will feel right. And you’ll be home.


Just like flowers require water to keep them beautiful. People require love, honesty, respect, trust, and passion to keep them beautiful too.Once we give that , then we just may find that the god and goddess we been looking for has been right in front of us all along.

The man or woman you choose to be your partner affects everything in your life. Your mental health, your peace of mind, your love inside you, your happiness, how you get through trades, your successes, how your children will be raised, and much more. Choose wisely.

Sharing the same vision in life, both have a Plan, Hand Holding, Watching the stars, Showing up for your theater play, Road Trip . Vacations, dancing, whispering sweet secrets to each other, doing the most silly things together, cheering you up on blue days, picking you up over the shoulder, Bucket list.




Demisexuals - need to feel a feeling of soul clicking and trust before they can even go on with someone. Sex cannot be forced, you gotta have the balls to be more than a sex master yourself before you allow another into your life. Respect yourself the way you want to be treated.

Demisexual Noetisexua l Sapioromantic Noetiromantic

Trust Chemistry, Chemistry that you don't have to question , at all. Where nothing feels forced. It's just natural. Everything just flows & it is so obvious. It's such a rare connection with another person.

My favorite position is one where you are down to grow with you as a person and care about your mental health & well being.

Arouse me mentally so I can feel you spiritually then when we touch physically we'll fall in sync soulfully. (This is when the connection is more deep as the connection grows over time )
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Sapiosexual
Usually refers to a person who is sexually attracted to a person's mind (intellectual or mental qualities) over their appearance or body. The attraction is based on the subject's capacity for, and exemplification of intelligence.

"Sapio" actually stems from the Latin verb for "wisdom" rather than intelligence. "Noeti" stems from a greek verb meaning intelligence (noetic) and is seen in a related sexuality known as noetisexual,


Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person feels sexually attracted to someone only after they've developed a close emotional bond with them. Forming a bond doesn't guarantee a person will feel a sexual attraction, but the bond is needed before sexual activity is even possible.

Noetisexual

People who are only attracted to people that they are mentally connected to. This might be people they share perspectives with or an attraction to the way their mind works. The word "noetic" stems from the Greek verb for "intellect."

The word noetisexual 2016 (source) as an alternative term to sapiosexual though its meaning has grown and some people may use it to identify as a type of demisexual who focuses on mental connection.

Noetisexual — It’s a mental attraction rather than a purely "intellectual" one. It’s loving the shape of their mental landscape and wanting to explore it. It’s falling in love with the way they think, their unique mental make up. It’s loving their creativity, their ingenuity, their silliness, their humor, their emotional intelligence, the way they use words, or the way they make mental space for you in their minds, and more.



Noetiromantic: When one is romantically attracted to those they are mentally connected to. It is based on appreciating & being interested in another's opinions, point of view, perception of reality, how they see the world, and how their mind works. One may be attracted to someone based on shared perspectives, the ways their minds work together, or the way the other person creates & holds space for them or others. It may or may not be influenced by one's neurodivergence.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Safety is Attractive.

Emotional maturity is attractive.

Raw communication is attractive.

Authenticity is attractive.

Imperfection is attractive.

Genuine connection is attraction.

Effect is attractive.

Consistency is attractive.

Honesty is attractive.

Kindness is attractive.

Talking about accountability is attractive.

Sincere apologies are attractive.

Awareness is attractive.

Growth is attractive.

Having respect and boundaries is attractive.

Read the menu profile or no dinner it starves.


The man or woman you choose to be your partner affects everything in your life. Your mental health, your peace of mind, your love inside you, your happiness, how you get through trades, your successes, how your children will be raised, and much more. Choose wisely.



You deserve a slow, uncomplicated love. No rush. Sure and Stable. Be consistent.You deserve love. You deserve someone that's sure of you. that you're sure of.

Not all moments of intimacy are sexual. Sometimes it's just about mutual nurturance.

Be with someone who will take care of you.
Not materialistically,
But take care of your soul, your well being. your heart, and everything that's you.

There will be ones who want you there will be the person who deserves you.

It's rare to find someone with enough emotional and mental patience and maturity to work through the sh#t with. Like communicate, and lose their ego because they value the connection more than their pride. You gotta leave your ego at the door when it comes to love. It's a must.

Feeling safe in someone's energy is a different type of intimacy. That feeling of peace and protection is really underrated.

"Important encounters are planned by the soul long before the bodies see each other."

Fascinated by soul, depth, intellect, rebellion, with cause, love without condition... music that makes you feel different. . . That matters.

I am not a snack. I am a garden. Take care of me and I can feed you forever.

Your relationship should be a safe haven, not a battlefield. The world is hard enough.

Compliments on appearance are nice, but when somebody compliments you as a person - your personality, your heart - that's where it's at.

Before you argue with someone, ask yourself. "Is this person mentally mature enough to grasp the concept of a different perspective?"If not, there is no point to argue.

Your soulmate will know exactly how to deal with you.,Flaws & all...


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Newcomers getting back into to be safe wise, it’s good to go over some things and educate yourself on the dynamic before digging in deeper.

BDSM 101: Consensual Non-Consent
https://thecage.co/magazine,199.html

BDSM 101: Sadism & Masochism
https://thecage.co/magazine,194.html

https://thecage.co/library.php?Library=view_category&CatID=1
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Art of Seduction
&t=4s

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love Kitten


Marilyn Monroe taught me tiger


Marilyn Monroe sings - A Fine Romance



Say Anything • In Your Eyes • Peter Gabriel


Lend Me Your Voice Belle


No Doubt - Underneath It All


ZAYN - PILLOWTALK



Ellie Goulding - Love Me Like You Do



Until I Found You · Stephen Sanchez


Capital Letters | Fifty Shades Freed |Hailee Steinfeld


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chemistry, charm, romance, compassion, vulnerability, growth, both just click.
Understanding of love.
movies and shows they will explain for themselves.
Anya and Dimitri having chemistry

I burn for you BRIDGERTON A feeling like demisexual but you only have feelings for one for one both just click. Sex is not the first thing. Gotta be more of feeling with even touch at first but you feel it.

Daphne & Simon's one of the best kiss ever

Simon and Daphne - tending to his wounds
Care for each other.

I NEED YOU CLOSER - Simon & Daphne

Simon and daphne flirting

Daphne & Simon | Heaven

Tom and Lucy's Love Story

Mary & Matthew | True Love NEVER dies


Opening My Heart To Love | Downton Abbey

I just want you - Anne of Green Gables
&t=20s
Anne and Gilbert Relationship - Anne of Green Gables

Anne of Avonlea: Anne and Gilbert Kiss

Anne & Gilbert Together

Anne Of Green Gables Love Scene
A special time when you give yourself to each other is when everything comes naturally.

beatrix potter

The Proposal | Downton Abbey

The legendary life of Chanel, born in poverty, but created his own era.
Women pleasure themself first but can please each other in partnership.

Miss Potter - No Boundaries Miss Potter The Peter rabbit maker married late in the 40s not too late to find love.

North and South Thornton and Margaret Finally Kiss

Daphne's Confession in the Rain to Simon Daphne helps Simon with his flaw and wakes up a bit. Real love, you do anything for your partner to help them grow.

Littlemxrysue​(masochist female) • Mar 1, 2025

Thank you for your wonderful answer! I don’t know how to reply but your answer really help me and don’t worry I’ll not sleep with strangers and ofc I'll be careful about pregnancy and STDs those are the main reasons I'm still a virgin haha but again thank you for your warning and reminder 🙏🏼

SoftSoul​(masochist female) • Mar 1, 2025

😊
It's fine to just share & pass along the rest up to you & your choice, but it's good to be cautious.
We live and grow and learn things as we go on in life - life is an experience full of possibilities.
I am also 40 its been five years, I also been bit reserved as well.

Truth is I lost my virginity at 16 playing truth or dare, but with friends and people I was close to. It was a different time.
Peer pressure was a thing back then if you did it was cool but in matter I wanted it done I was tired of being harassed it was my choice we were mature in those days. I talked to the guy who was my friend did it we used protection safe sex yes wanted to be done with it yes there was a flood of blood after but they did it slow my friend had to give me a pad and she had to throw it in the water right away. I did feel better when it was done I was tired made me feel more like a woman but its up to you as its your body your choice is yours alone. But we were both the same age, and it was the age of consent, so it could be done in that state were we were living in. As I said, that was a long time ago. When you are a young adult you might want to get over with but still do with someone you know but as you get older your feelings change and you want to wait or experience things. My friend lost her virginity the day after she felt confident her and boyfriend waited. My friend got grounded for a month and I got grounded the next month ya it really was bla we all were educated in sex education parents were just strict as we got older we knew we could do whatever we wanted to.

LongerJohnny​(dom male)​{B&C} • Mar 1, 2025

My first experience began with my weiner, and my journey continued from there. Then one day I met a butthole. And you know what happens when a wiener and a butthole love each other very very much. Sometimes they hug really really hard (but fortunately never make any babies.)

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Mar 1, 2025

Oh, I wish I were an LongerJohnny Wiener,
That is what I'd truly like to be-ee-ee.
'Cause if I were an LongerJohnny Wiener,
Everyone would be in love with meeeeee!

Re: Can you tell me about your first BDSM experience?

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Mar 2, 2025

I don't know if you mean first intercourse experience or first BDSM experience. I'll answer first BDSM experience. I found my first submissive role playing on a sex site. First time it wasn’t anything too extreme. It involved me choosing something slutty for her to wear to a hotel bar and flirting with her like some random stranger. She wrote her room # on a bar napkin for me and the sex was amazing but the kink beside some rough handling was me telling her what to do.
My first time was under an overpass not far from where my friends and I used to smoke behind the bowling alley. I was in junior high.
When I was older and experienced I had sex with a virgin. She wanted to, but she was scared and we talked about a month before we did it. I brought her to orgasm several times before just not by intercourse. We looked at vagina diagrams discussed different erogenous zones and even looked at illustrations of different hymens. The more we talked about it the more comfortable she became and it all led to a very good first time experience.

Now if you want your virginity taken in a bdsm experience, that would be amazing, but it would take the right Dom, and a lot of communication. Finding the right one? You keep talking to them and eliminating them until you find him. You'll probably talk to a whole bunch before you find the one who clicks. Good luck to you!

Everyone or every butthole?

House Talion​(dom male) • Mar 3, 2025

My first true experience was at a bar near that ren faire after their daily events. My freind at the time was soo into this newb that ue wanted to be beaten by her, but she had no idea what to do. Even after taking a few swings with multiple implimenta from my tool chest she was unable to do much. So to his complaints of needing so much more I tool the reins and watched her smile widen while I flagged, paddled, and whipped the guy. He had no idea his marks came from me and in the end she was more into me while personally I prefer a woman with a brain.