What is this?

What is this?

Sub Baby Love​(sub female) • May 16, 2025

Hi! I haven’t posted in a while. Went through an assault in august then got in a relationship months later. I think I miss the community. I’ve been a little lost. Been with a guy that has been in my face a lot and people involved worry he’s gona hit me. When we are alone he goes hours saying everything is my fault. Is this mental illness or abuse? I keep having to exit my feminine energy to compensate for what’s going on. I feel far from myself and just wish I wasn’t so confused.
It sounds easy but I’m big into mental health. He did joke about running me over with my own car. And gets in my face a lot. Even when I’m trying to make him happy or laugh. My little side just wants to fix things and I don’t know what to do anymore. Much love, I just needed to speak out about it. Any comments are helpful. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Miki • May 16, 2025

Leave that situation ASAP. This guy wants you to think you're of unsound mind. One need not have ever been in an abusive situation to know that's the abuser's standard playbook. The problem is him, not you.

You'll need to set your "little" side ... aside. This guy ain't playing. See it for what it is. A dangerous situation with no upside, that will never change.

I even recommend that you get the cops involved. Threatening... even pretending it is a joke, to run you over with your own car (or any car) is a crime in and of itself.

Don't wait and don't buy any "I'm sorry" crap. Just leave any way you can as soon as you can.

This guy is a direct threat to your health and safety.

JaredMayer​(dom male) • May 16, 2025

Uh yeah, from the sound of things you should definitely leave this situation as soon as possible because I'm guessing this kind of thing isn't part of your kink, so it's very not ok.



VERY not ok.

If you love someone, them occasionally having problematic behavior as a result of mental issues is a tolerable situation, but if they're not even recognizing their harmful behavior, let alone trying to better themselves, then you absolutely should not be putting up with it.

I myself have felt trapped in an abusive relationship, so I can tell you for a fact that abusers have a way of making you feel like you're the problem despite all evidence to the contrary. I also know how hard it can seem to just end a situation like that, but trust me when I say you're going to feel so relieved when it's over.

pioneer man​(sub male) • May 16, 2025

After reading your post and the responses from Miki & Jared, I couldn't agree with them more.

There's nothing to add to their comments, except tp offer a personal story.

Years ago my wife and I knew a woman with a similar situation - a man who made the same type of comments and did similar actions. She kept hoping he would change, because he would promise to try to get better. We sat at her kitchen table one afternoon having coffee with her and begged her to leave. He called and asked her to give him a chance to talk thing out. She agreed to meet with him.

HE MURDERED HER THAT EVENING. We pray your situation is not that drastic, but please get out and never look back. If you feel unsafe, get an order of protection against him.

This is not meant to scare you, just to help you to learn from someone else's mistake.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • May 16, 2025

Others have covered this quite well above. I would add one additional thought: whether he has mental issues or is simply abusive, he is not your issue to fix. I know the little in you wants to fix it and make it better. But you might consider allowing the little in you to focus on ensuring you are safe first and foremost.

This early in the relationship there shouldn't be enough issues for him to blame you for everything. And as Jared points out, even joking about running you over is not ok. I have never thought or said in any fashion that I'd run over any family or friends. That's not a joke.

If your friends who know him think he might turn violent, they may be right. Please consider doing what's best for you. You need separation from this individual.

MasterDomDok​(sadist male)​{you?} • May 16, 2025

Quoting Pioneer Man: "This is not meant to scare you, just to help you to learn from someone else's mistake."

I'm sorry, this answer and the others SHOULD scare you! RUN! and remember the thumb inside the fist pump signal, if you are where he's hurting you and others can see, help.

AlphaByDesign​(dom male) • May 16, 2025

I would run from that situation as soon as you can. There is literally no reason to continue in that relationship or situation. You’re not going to maintain your mental health by continuing there. I hope you take the advice you been given here to heart.

dollMaker​(dom male) • May 16, 2025

Run and don't look back.

What you describe is abuse and gas lighting.

Kelpi • May 16, 2025

I have been in a few bad relationships and I have seen many more. So many times I have wanted to step in and stop something but was told "no it is her fault because she won't walk away". So many times I have had to listen to friends tell me about how they were slapped beat yelled at and told if she would behave he could love her better. I once had to walk away from a friend because she got a black eye and a fat lip because he got drunk and told her I wanted to fucker her. Police could not help because she would not file charges. As I was walking out my door with a few "toys" to pay him a visit she begged me not to hurt him because "I love him so much". I had to walk away from her. I am not sure how much time went by before I was told her was in jail and she was in the hospital. She lost the baby and almost her life because she was to much in love to leave.

Please it will not get better. You can only help when people want help. You are not the one in the wrong and your life needs to be yours and not someone's elses. Love yourself enough to find someone who loves you as much as you love them if not more. Find the one who will hurt you only when it feels good and it's it's done right.

Sub Baby Love​(sub female) • May 16, 2025

I just read all of these, I Haven't spent time in the community lately and miss it a lot. I do feel like it’s my fault. I appreciate every one of you for honest feedback. I feel crazy. But my anxiety is so high that I get headaches being around him. Because I can’t get a word in for hours on end. He will spend 6 hours average puttin me down and many men have had to tell him to back away from me. Getting in between us because he gets in my face a lot. 7 months together and things were okay for a couple. But now he’s putting me down all the time and saying it’s a joke.
I have high functioning autism and he says she’s not gona get it she fucking autistic when he tells me to shut the f up. Honestly I just need support. My little side definitely wants to be supportive because no one is perfect, but I feel like very far away from myself.
He has been caught cheating on snap chat, instagram, Facebook. Etc. and he says it’s either ai or promotional for his music. 3 different excuses actually. If there was ever a time that I needed support this is probably it. He says he didn’t actually cheat because it was just online but ya know, he blames me for my reaction.
I think I need some loyal friends. I don’t have any. Close family is narcissistic, so technically it’s an easy in for someone like this. But always hard to convince myself the truth no matter who is like this. Never can stop thinking what I can do better for them. To feel loved. All I can do is try to seek support.