Cloaking vs Deception

Cloaking vs Deception

incandescent​(switch gender fluid)​{MAV-IV} • Aug 22, 2025

When does cloaking a condition, quirk or something become active deception?

When you meet a stranger on the street, you don't unload or provide them your entire set of limitations or quirks.

But with someone you're intimate with you tend to reveal more then not.

What is your metric for revealing different kinds of information? For me I've classified into (3) broad categories:

(1) Neurological basic quirks that are more acceptable
(2) Biological oddities
(3) Need to know/camouflaged issue

(1) I'll share after a time or just thru normal conversations over time.
(2) If a conversation is more serious or deemed relevant
(3) Unsure but at this point, only within a close relationship.

Thoughts, own ideas or ways of sharing and protecting self and more is welcome 💚

Solace​(dom male) • Aug 22, 2025

I am confident there will other takes strongly disagreeing with my own here.

That being said, I'm not on board with idea of people practicing deception because they didn't specify a detail about themselves. I don't in any way consider that trickery.

Rather I think It sets a bad precedent of thought. Of cataloging things within one's self that they feel is flaw that must be shared. Of expecting others to have predicted a detail you would find problematic.

I don't think thats healthy for people or relationships.

Do people practice deception in relationships? Yes. Do people intentionally not say things off the get because it would close their odds? Yes. I am aware and willing to admit this.

My stance though, is that's what being in a dating or initial relationship is about. Learning these things. Asking your partner about things which are important to you. It's on each of us to explore our partners, not on them to confess their dubious sins and self perceived flaws.


The examples I'll provide are single mothers and fathers. Highly discriminated against in the dating pool. By bot voicing they have kids off the git. They have a chance to be actually seen as more than the children they have.

Miki • Aug 23, 2025

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Probably semantics but the first part, keeping aspects of one's personal life private is in no way "deception". Deception is lying. Someone claiming to be an executive in their company when all the while they clean the bathrooms.. that's deception.

For me (for example) not getting into where I work or what I do. is reserving personal info until a certain level of trust occurs

Personally as I have not and will not get into any relationships, everything is personal and no one "needs" to know a damned thing about me.

But in a relationship, as time goes on and trust builds, sure, get into the personal, the past and so forth should be part of the "developing trust"

As for the second part, saying single parents are "the most discriminated against" in the dating pool-- That is not "discrimination"

Maybe a potential mate is not into the "instant family" thing... Especially for people in their middle age years, having had families and having had them finally leave the nest---- are sometimes ill disposed to going back to doing diapers or childproofing the fucking kitchen all over again--- That is a matter of personal choice.

"Discrimination" is a word that ought never apply to one's choice as to who they date or get involved with. There are no laws or rights when it comes to who one wants to date or not.

I never had any but one doesn't need to have had kids to know that they can be a royal pain in the ass, and that getting involved with a single parent isn't for everybody--- And there's not a damned thing wrong with that!!!!

Bishop • Aug 23, 2025

I’ve thought long about your question and feel as though I read it for the first time. Lol
While I am very open about myself, there are a lot of things I keep in my boxes and don’t share outright. It takes a lot of time, communication (active listening), and trust to begin sharing what I keep hidden. The easy answer, at least to me, is to share when you are comfortable sharing those things, when you feel that you likely won’t be judged.
Sharing things is a very vulnerable process. Both people need to be vulnerable to be able to share and to listen objectively (with just the intent to understand). Vulnerability necessitates risk, it’s a scary thing, and no matter how strong you think the relationship might be, there is still risk.
When does it become deception? That, I think, is what I have been struggling with. I think, and I could be wrong, that it becomes deception when you actively choose to hide something for fear of losing that person after you have established a relationship. Then again, you get to choose what to reveal about yourself to whom, and if people don’t like that, I say they can kick sand.