Curiosity

Curiosity

Bunnie • Jun 22, 2018

What does a BDSM relationship look like to you? What do you get/hope to get from the kind of interaction it provides?

Rosietimes • Jun 23, 2018

Since I’m in my first BDSM relationship I have no idea if what I’m experiencing is typical but I’ll share what I’m finding different than vanilla. Albeit my relationship experience is limited, spent most of my life with one man...
I’m in DDlg so specific to that I’m getting what I’ve always wanted but never got in a vanilla setting. Deep intense connection, permission to ‘need’, communication that almost feels telepathic sometimes, genuine affection, being taken care of and nurtured, having someone take charge, feeling a sense of pride and respect in giving myself to someone I truly deem worthy of the kind of adoration I’m wanting to give, and of course the sex that is not just good but takes me somewhere and changes me for the better. I want a relationship that challenges me and brings out the best even though it’s not always easy. There are so many reasons why this is working for me and I can’t imagine having any other type of relationship now.

PrincessWhip​(other female) • Jun 25, 2018

Personally, I think we all wear a mask in real life, BDSM doesn’t change who we are, we just remove the mask, some people never do, but when it happens with the right person, it’s a depth of understanding unlike any other.

DomForHer​(dom male) • Jun 28, 2018

I am new to this lifestyle but I have learned so much not just about bdsm but also about myself and my needs and desires. Over the years I have felt this desire to control more in my relationships. I have finally found the right woman to help me grow and express myself. One of the biggest things I get from this dynamic is the deep connection I feel. I think unless you are in this lifestyle you don’t understand what means. It is the best feeling. I also enjoy the great communication and of course the control.

Re: Curiosity

NrsGoodBody​(switch female){FREEspirit} • Jun 28, 2018

What BDSM looks like to me:
It is NOT porn and won't ever be like porn. I think of it in the sense that it is a relationship where more trust is involved, more kink is involved and more connection is involved. To "ME" i feel like i am safer in BDSM because I am not judged for who or what i am vs vanilla. Everyone says they can "handle some kink" but when you start talking about what you really like some people run away. Is it because they can't handle it, because they are shy about their own desires they want to express but can't, feel like your kink is "too" dirty for them, or what is it? In any case, there is a disconnect and it tends to not be as satisfying. In my D/s relationships I have found that i can not be with a Dominant and not with a submissive, i must be with another switch. I have needs, wants and desires that fluctuate too much for me to be happy otherwise.

With ThePianist i have found more things that I like because of his openmindedness in kink. I have found a deep connection, a deep level of trust and a deep sense of satisfaction. Our relationship was built as friends, developed on trust and brought forward by those two actions along with communication. To me i feel that is what BDSM relationships look like. Its a mutual understanding about another person that is taken to a deeper level to provide satisfaction on both parties that may not be able to be fulfilled elsewhere.

What do i get/hope to get from the kind of interaction it provides:
I hope to gain a better understanding about myself and what makes me happy. I hope to learn more about myself in regards to strengths and weaknesses. For me to have a partner that sees me as I am, accepts me as I am, works with me, tolerates me, nurtures me and helps me grow is a huge benefit to my life. It makes me feel wanted and desired which fulfills basic needs that I have. I feel that I am able to do the same thing for him and that fills my need to help. With htose areas I feel we obtain a deeper connection and level of trust and communication that increases the bond we share and the level of passion and kink we delve in to. With out those things or those feelings i would be unsatisfied and would not be able to "let go" as much as I have been able to which would limit the amount of satisfaction I have and essentially lead back to a vanilla relationship.

I find everyone to have such fascinating dynamics. I love that it's an area we can grow in and love, be vulnerable in and strong, be humble in and yet proud because it's really us at our core being our truest selves, free from (hopefully) any adversity and able to have pleasure in areas of our lives.

-Nrs