Lateral BDSM

I'd like to start a conversation on the lateral nature of BDSM. I haven't spent time in the community, just my husband and I playing around, and I would love other practitioners' take on its lateral nature. The power that the submissive holds is absolute. The safeword or consent can stop the interchange completely. I'd love to hear opinions on this here and why.

Good afternoon NotYouGiggles. Good question for discussion. Simple answer, both parties maintain the absolute power and neither do. They are both responsible for developing the boundaries and foundation of their dynamic and then for maintaining it in the fashion they decide works best for them. It's absolute teamwork. Because if you imagine the submissive can safe word out or remove consent to continue, it applies to both. Both are responsible and both have the same level of authority and power to literally call the word. I've often heard of a responsible and sane Dominant calling the safe word when the submissive wasn't in the right frame of mind, simply to protect the submissive.

I guess my initial response is, the lateral nature of the power exchange is what the consenting parties agree to during their courtship and discussions. And it is up to both of them to safeguard and maintain the boundaries; to protect their dynamic from enemies both foreign and domestic; and to decide whether it's still healthy for each of them.

Once they decide how the power exchange is to be structured, then it is the responsibility of both to maintain the structure. The Dominant receives the level of authority and is responsible for wielding that authority in accordance with their agreements. Likewise the submissive agrees to give up the authority and power as long as it is preserved and maintained in accordance with their dynamic.

I may have slid completely from the gist of your initial topic. To your point, BOTH parties need to respond to the safe word or removal of consent with the same level of respect, responsibility and focus once invoked. It doesn't just reside in the hands of the submissive.

I hope that makes sense.

I makes perfect sense. I'm a psychological anthropologist, and part of what I'm doing is applying BDSM consent structures to social organization. Equity is the most important. I've been trying to explain to a friend what I mean when I say that for my husband I am a feral pet, and I appreciate the dynamic. I also had to explain soft dom to her, and not everyone knows what I mean by that. I also have been explaining that not all Doms "tell you what to do". That has been the hardest one for her to understand.

I would surmise the strongest Dominants simply provide a safe space for all parties to exist as they truly are. Some individuals require that safe space to find themselves. They don't necessarily need someone telling them when to go to bed or what to wear, although there can be "some" benefits in adding elements of structure to assist someone in focusing (and possibly a great deal of fun and games). Soft doesn't translate as weak. Water breaks stone and carves out the riverbeds. Rain wears down the mountains. It does sound like an intriguing discussion you may be having with your friend and would be fun to be a fly on that wall. Best of luck. She may just have an epiphany from you. Do feel free to provide updates as the conversation evolves.

Consent can be given or take from either. Power is tricky as the sub can determine what is done the Dom determines if its done.

@House Talion, BDSM is where I learned equity. Each part weighted the same.