Suppressed thoughts ....

Suppressed thoughts ....

Bandar​(sub male) • Jun 29, 2019

Maybe this going to be a long boring post or maybe not... Just inner thoughts I feel I want to share but sometimes I feel I can't share them, maybe this place people don't judge me or I'm happy some will understand and don't mind making nice comments about it.
I still feel like I can't share alot or open up alot yet. I just to be honest never had the support ....
I live in a place where I can't meet other open minded people or talk about things I want or like. And to be honest many years I tried finding people like me and believe me I've tried all local forums or chat apps and all of that and most of the time I get the want to fuck?
But what about all the other things I like !!!!
Not many open minded people which I hate.
I'm 34 now but I still think look younger and feel younger and I like it im easy with my life...
My first sexual experience with an older woman and my second it was with a man, second one tho I remember I was 17 or 18 and was tricked into it. Maybe all the stuff I like now sometimes I feel was from it. I remember walking out of it and then messaging me saying how you liked it and to be honest I said I don't know why but when I think of it now I get excited but the same time I don't like being with a man, and I said next time I'll come and make me and force me to do things....
I don't know how much in details I can write here please let me know
That story above was when I was in England and I left England when I was 21 and after that I've had girlfriends and it was with amazing people and experiences
I remember slowly wanting and thinking of being with men and older men more. I knew from the start I was a sub guy and I really liked it.
I've always watched porn with sub woman and turned me in wanting to be in her place.
All kinds the bondage and submission the spanking the forcing and other things....
I've met two people who were into it and we're good but I was new and shy and they were gone quick.
I hate how I feel alone and can't find anyone physically or there emotionally or just to talk to and open up
I feel depressed
I'm the kind of guy when my girlfriend get pissed at something I'll say sorry even tho it's not me. If she shouts I'll eat my words and stay quiet. I'm the kind I can't remember ever raising my voice or shout or get angry at people. I do that alone behind my room doors.
Suppressed feeling suppressed emotions suppressed thoughts I can't get out.

I don't know I feel like I'm talking in codes or something . My message might sound confusing.
Don't want to go up and read ... Just random letters and words I type without thinking.
I'm scared and feel I would regret more than I do now much more. Maybe my age is telling me that...
Yeah I've always tried building a relationship or a friendship in real life or even online but can't. Feel like it's my fault. Feel like they stop because they sometimes don't get what they want so why bother with me. Silly
English is my second language but I try hard.
Emptying your thoughts feel good to someone no matter how strange or what ever I think of it is.

I want to connect

Bunnie • Jun 30, 2019

Hi Bandar,

Welcome and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us

Just thought I’d mention... there is a section called “Blogs” where you can create a space to be able to share as much or as little as you want. I have found it to be a great place to share anything... thoughts, experiences, ideas, concepts etc. Most people are very positive and encouraging and enjoy sharing in each others journey. I hope you have a great experience here and meet plenty of lovely people.

p.s... your English is great!

Lotus​(sub female) • Jun 30, 2019

Hi Bandar!

I’m sorry that you are going through a rough time and that you do not feel safe to express your feelings/thoughts in the area where you live. I agree with Bunnie’s post about using a blog as a form
of self expression. I was on this site 6 months before I worked up the courage to start blogging. I really enjoy it and find that the majority of the responses I have received are positive, encouraging and helpful .

Another suggestion I thought of for you is trying yin yoga with a focus on hip openers. (I know how random this sounds, haha) we hold our emotions in our hips, it’s scientific, we tend to clench our bodies in the hip area throughout the day when we are feeling stressed or anxious. Practicing hip openers is like therapy to me. I have cried after a good practice! Finally releasing old emotions..and men tend to benefit from this practice even more! Find hip opening yin yoga videos on YouTube and I promise you will not regret it.

Best of luck to you

DC Daddy​(dom male) • Jun 30, 2019

"Another suggestion I thought of for you is trying yin yoga with a focus on hip openers. (I know how random this sounds, haha) we hold our emotions in our hips, it’s scientific, we tend to clench our bodies in the hip area throughout the day when we are feeling stressed or anxious. Practicing hip openers is like therapy to me. I have cried after a good practice! Finally releasing old emotions..and men tend to benefit from this practice even more! Find hip opening yin yoga videos on YouTube and I promise you will not regret it. "


Sorry to hijack, but this is fascinating. Recently discovered that hip tightness is likely responsible for my (long) history of lower back issues and have been working on flexibility. Specifically Yogi Nora's (youtube) Yin practice, which is not all hips, but mostly. Intrigued by the notion that my hip tightness may also be responsible for my emotional constipation! Couple questions. Do your have a specific reference or citation for the premise that emotions are stored in the hips? I have heard this type of thing before, but typically from the woo woo types. Would love to see some actual science on this; or even something science-ish... Also, would you be willing to share your specific practice? Much as I love Yogi Nora, her routine has yet to result in a good cry, at least not for reasons of emotional release.

Thanks! And again, apologies for the hijack.

Lotus​(sub female) • Jun 30, 2019

Hi DC Daddy,

When I first heard at a yoga class that we tend to store emotions in our hips I was fascinated, as well. Since I started yoga, I have always enjoyed hip opener positions more than any other type of pose. Which, I know is unique since they are typically disliked due to the level of discomfort (I find other poses more uncomfortable, the burn of hip openers for me feels great). I also always feel happier and more open after a yoga class, so considering what my teacher mentioned I started googling things like “hip opening for emotions” etc., etc. Much like yourself I was hoping for something scientific or scientific-ish, haha, as opposed to anecdotal experiences. Unfortunately, I really couldn’t find any evidence based articles to back it up scientifically...HOWEVER, I did find a fascinating video on YouTube...search “the Science of Yoga” posted by Laura Plumb. The video interviews a professor of medicine from Harvard Medical School as well as a Dr. who has measured the positive benefits of yoga using a systematic and scientific approach. The results he discusses are fascinating to me! The video does not specifically mention hip openers, it is a general discussion of the positive outcomes of practicing yoga regularly.

As far as my own practice, I either attend a restorative yoga class regularly (yin yoga, we hold stretches longer (4-5 minutes). I feel that we will get out what we put into our practice and our experiences will be subjective depending on where we are at and what our bodies need. Perhaps if you search around for different videos on YouTube for hip openers you may find something that really works for you! Sorry for the long post haha, I just really love yoga and couldn’t speak more about the positive outcomes it has had for me personally.