SubmissiveLidy

sub female

44

5ft4, average size, long red hair, blue eyes.

I love getting out and about in the beautiful Highlands of Scotland, that I have called my home since moving up from England in 2019.

I am currently an online sub, I have a vanilla life, a vanilla partner. Am I completely happy? Definitely not, but there are things I have to do, before I can move on. My life is complex and complicated.

"An escapist from a conformist world, destined to find happiness only in that which cannot be explained". House of a thousand corpses- Rob Zombie.

"Well, it's going to take a lot more than fancy talk to keep me up all night crawling around these bushes". Halloween 1978- John Carpenter.

I have travelled the path of a submissive for many years (20+). Mostly in person, but online as well. I have loved, lost, been hurt, and somewhat ashamed to admit I have hurt others.

My submission over the years has evolved, and changed as I have explored my submission. I am thankful to the Dominants that have allowed me to be open and explore while serving them.

I regret that I once encountered a man that called himself a Dominant, he became my Master in an almost complete TPE relationship. He broke me physically, mentally, in every way. Many of my limits come from that relationship. I will wear some scars for the rest of my life. When I escaped it took me a long time to find myself again, the physical wounds have faded, leaving scars. Some of the mental ones were much harder to overcome, and I still worry I haven't. I will never return to a TPE relationship, I am older, wiser, and now at a point I feel empowered to be able to have a voice as a submissive.

Since December 2024 I have explored BDSM once again, tried to learn more, educate myself and allow myself to explore my once needed sadistic side.

There are 3 parts to my submission that I need. Submission, pet play and the chance to be a 'little'. DDlg is a part of me, that I won't live without. I am a brat, and I am once again exploring how far my love of masochism will take me. Does my dominant have to be a sadist? I was once asked this question. I answered this at the time as 'no', but if I am being honest to some extent yes I believe my Dominant does need to be a sadist or have sadistic tenancies, but to be clear, I mean for me not in general.

One thing I've never had with an online Dom is their recognition in their profile that they own me. I've always suspected it is because they think it would then deter females. Just once it would be nice for a Dom to announce to the world I was his!

Yes, my submission is as complicated as my life.

== Results from bdsmtest.org: ==
100% Brat
100% Degradee
100% Little
100% Primal (Prey)
100% Rope bunny
98% Submissive
91% Pet
89% Ageplayer
78% Masochist
64% Experimentalist
56% Voyeur
34% Non-monogamist
27% Slave
19% Exhibitionist
3% Vanilla
0% Switch


I once put together a 'must/can't live without' list (almost an opposite of a limit list).

Bondage
Cloth gags
Pacifier gag
Degraded
Homework
Humiliated
Leashed
Little space
Orgasm control
OTK spanking
Pet play
Roleplay (online and in person)
Rules
Sitting at feet
Spanking with belt
Spanking with hand
Throat holding
Wand
Worshipping



From time to time a dominant will message me asking me about my current position. With the intention of then pursuing me to claim as theirs. I am an extremely confident person, with a very successful career. But for any Dom out there scrambling to own a sub, any sub. I have news for you, I'm not just any sub. Im a submissive with a dominant personality, I love being a brat, I need little space, a daddy as much as I need pet play and my dom to be a sadist. I will also never consider a dom without all aspects of experience in everything listed in my 'needs list'. When (but it's more like if) I want a new dom i will say so.

I have many, most are extreme, limits should be discussed in private, but ultimately only my Dom needs to know them.

2 Mar 25
I was chatting to a long time submissive friend today, they have a profile on here, but I won't name names! They showed me it's tme to stop hiding. So, being brave, I have added to my profile a picture of me.

14 Feb 25
Alone!

26 Jan 25
I haven’t updated this or replied to messages received. I am sorry if you are someone who has messaged. I have heard from my Dom, he tells me we are fine. But one message a week isn't enough. I think I am getting to the end. I told him that this morning. Whether that is him ending the wall of silence or us ending.

16 Jan 25
85 hours with nothing, part of me is trying to hold on, part of me is letting go, all of me is hurting.

14 Jan 25
That realisation that you're really just dominating yourself, when you wonder if you start breaking rules how long it will take for him to notice, if he does at all?

10 Jan 25
One night, I got some of my Dom, not all but some, I was in heaven, and I am still sore today.

6 Jan 25
I have been trying to reflect on my relationship with my Dom. I wasn't always a good submissive, and I regret this so much now.

5 Jan 25
Do other subs describe their submission like an addiction? That is how I feel, the more my Dom gives the more I want/need.

4 Jan 25
It has now been 65 hours since I last heard from my Dom. I told him if he wanted things to end between us then to be honest. I never expected him to disappear, I feel like the hole in my heart is only getting bigger.

19 Dec 24
One step forward, one step back

18 Dec 24
For someone owned and collared I have never felt more alone. Is it possible to go into sub drop when you haven't been played with?

15 Dec 24
After all these years in the lifestyle I am still learning new aspects as a whole, as well as aspects of my own submission I enjoy.

Dec 13, 2024