HankIVdom male
HankIV
Enjoy every day ; live in the moment ; almost every person has a kink.
Life is a strange trip. Some get what they want; some realize what they wanted is a nightmare. While others never get where they wanted to. At the end of the day we are all that much older and little bit stranger.
I found TheCage out of a need to connect with other people in the hobby. I have taken an extended break from being part of any social groups due to some past trauma. But what does not kill us only makes us weirder right?
Short recap of my past life.
Grew up a military brat bouncing all over the country. There are several traumatic events in my childhood that have left permeant scars. I never had any long lasting friendships due to all of the moving around. Felt all my early relationships were really just trauma bonding masked with childhood expectations of life. Joined the military myself out of HS and got socially involved in BDSM. What i found was an exciting amusement park to enjoy of sights, sounds, experiences. Excess lead to my Icarus moment that brought it all crashing down. It was a short period of my life but i have spent the past fifteen years tying to understand it.
If you struggle with depression in your life you have my deepest sympathy and understanding. The amount of just get over it i have delt with makes me not wish it on anyone. Therapy is the only path out of the hole; be it in professional; educational; spiritual.
"Tempore Tempora Tempera" ~ Translation: Time is a great healer. Take this to heart and allow yourself enough time to grow and heal. For me it was Three long years.
Current life.
In a happy marriage with my wife who is figuring out her place in the BDSM space. Life is in the process of slowing down. Many years of chasing education; job opportunities; and exploring the world has lead us happiness. You can find yours; it is out there.
"You and I are all as much continuous with the physical universe as a wave is continuous with the ocean." A.W
BDSM in my extremely personal opinion is best described as an amusement park. In this park the rides and attractions are called kinks. There are rides you came to this park excited for, some you maybe curious about, and most defiantly rides you well never go anywhere near. But as you keep showing up to the park it could begin to change you. Morale of the story is to accept people for who they are but you are allowed to politely decline to ride with them.
Learn to accept who you are amongst all the noise and confusion and remove yourself from the influence of others.
I found out very early that standard sex (some would say vanilla encounters) just did not provide enough stimulation for me to feel the experience was anywhere near a normal thing. Only when a partner causally asked one day ~
"what do you think about whips and chains"
~ Did i even being to think about the roads that lead here.
more to come; remember patience is a virtue.
Well I am new here.
Update 12/14
Very busy this month and it is already halfway over. In my past this was never a fun time of year. So whatever your family / friends / group maybe or look like; lean on and support each other during this holiday season. And always remember to be kind to yourself.