lavendermoonorchidx​{none}

sub female

43

here to clear my mind
maybe you’re out there, maybe you’re not, maybe you're right here but if you are and you found me, please pretend you didn't.

no one can pull anyone back from anywhere. you save yourself or you remain unsaved (alice sebold)

i'm not sure what i'm looking for but i'll know when i find it
not looking for any online dynamics.
i cannot relocate at this time.

“Dearest,

I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.

I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.”

-Virginia Woolf, 1941
She drowned herself in a lake after.

I look for you in every person I meet but I haven't found you yet

to be discussed

absolutely nothing.

Dec 2, 2025