depraved dolly​{owned}

sub female

"Do or do not. There is no try." ~ Yoda

"If loving you makes a slave of me, then I'll spend my whole life in chains." ~ Sophie B. Hawkins

Full disclosure - I am married. I am not looking to change this. I DO NOT NEED RESCUING.

I am a natural redhead and can be somewhat volatile. #sorrynotsorry

I identify as a babygirl/little. I love all things pink and sparkly and Hello Kitty is an obsession. I like to colour and watch Disney movies. I am not an age player; I just have a child-like mentality. I can sometimes be naive and I have a very hard time understanding things like sarcasm, especially in text.

I also have social anxiety disorder, which means I am the centre of the universe and if you forget to say hello to me, you must hate me. I have trouble with small talk, but excel at in-depth conversations. I am a strange combination of innocence and depravity. The spoiled princess by day and the dirty little fuck toy by night.

I am a Star Wars fanatic. I cried real tears when Carrie Fisher passed away. I am a geek. I like roleplaying and have been doing tabletop D&D since I was ten. My favourite video game series is Final Fantasy because I have horrible eye-hand co-ordination and find real fighting games to be very challenging. I love Marvel and my favourite super hero is Deadpool. (I'm a sucker for sarcastic, mean and depraved men.)

Compliments make me uncomfortable. I blush easily. I'm also very shy with new people, which can sometimes give people the impression that I'm a stuck-up bitch. These are just a few of my many limitations. I am not perfect and I do not expect anyone else to be either. I -am- 100% honest and up-front and I expect the same of anyone else who choses to interact with me.

I first discovered BDSM six years ago. I read a lot of stories on Literotica and while I'm usually poking around the Non-Consent/Reluctance section, somehow I ended up over at BDSM reading a story called, Culture Shock. (You can find it in my favourite links below if you are curious.) It was the journey of a young woman just starting to discover her own sexuality who met an online Dominant on a chat site. It awoke something in me I hadn't realized was lying dormant.

I googled BDSM and joined the first chat site that came up and have been there ever since. At the time I assumed my husband was vanilla, in the 18 years we'd been together he'd never once expressed any interest in anything kinky and I was so sexually repressed back then I hadn't ever had an orgasm. Yes 18 years having sex without an orgasm. Shocking I know!

I thought I was broken.

I met a 'Dom' and within two weeks was collared. Within a month I had learned enough to realize my 'Dom' was not a Dom at all and I ended things with him. After that, I decided to stop looking for a Dom and start concentrating on learning more about the lifestyle. After several months I found a new online Dominant who was in a similar situation to mine. He was married to a vanilla spouse and not looking to change His situation but needed more. We clicked and I blossomed. I bought my first Hitachi and had my first orgasm with my husband under His guidance. For the first time in my life, I was sexually satisfied, mentally stimulated and felt like I belonged.

Then, two years later, the unthinkable happened. I got a text at work from my husband asking who He was. I was terrified. I loved my husband and my family and I was sure I was about to lose everything. But life has a funny way of working out sometimes and instead of destroying my marriage, it strengthened it. It opened a line of communication that had never been open before. It gave us a freedom to lay all our cards on the table and openly discuss our desires.

Turns out my 'vanilla' husband wasn't so vanilla after all. Fast forward to four years later and we are in a better place now. There are still trust issues we are working on together, but for the most part we are having fun exploring the lifestyle together. It's not always easy with a six year old in the house, but we're making it work. Our dynamic is DD/lg. (This sub-genre of BDSM is greatly misunderstood, and if you do want to learn more about it there is a link in my favourites.)

There are still limits and boundaries in place that I hope we will be able to overcome in the future, but I'm trying to be patient while Daddy catches up.

== Results from bdsmtest.org == 

100% Primal (Prey) 
100% Brat
100% Masochist
100% Degradee
100% Rope bunny 
100% Boy/Girl
100% Experimentalist
90% Submissive
90% Voyeur 
71% Non-monogamist 
71% Switch
53% Slave 
44% Pet 
37% Exhibitionist
30% Sadist 
29% Degrader 
21% Rigger
13% Dominant 
7% Brat tamer 
1% Vanilla 
1% Daddy/Mommy 
1% Primal (Hunter) 
0% Owner 
0% Master/Mistress

No bodily fluids, illegal activities or permanent scarring.

Back for now. We'll see how it goes...

Dec 6, 2018

Apr 20, 2018