dom male

United States
Relationship status
About me
True control is an illusion. Take a step in the sand and step back. The footprint in front of you is unique. The greatest gymnast, dancer, martial artist or athlete could never have enough control to repeat the same step. Even a seemingly identical step will shift the sand leaving something new and unpredictable. Submission is an act of surrender and great trust. This is a gift that must be respected and repaid with protection and guidance. The illusion of control can be used to create pleasure and illicit emotional response, but the true relationship between Dom and sub is completed by trust and mutual respect regardless of how it is agreed upon to express that relationship together.

So, a bit about me ...

I'm an ENTP Myer Briggs type. It looks like that's a thing around here, for what it's worth.

I'm intelligent, creative and not at all prone to fitting specifically into defined stereotypes. I spent about ten years studying the martial arts, including time spent teaching. I've put about 200,000 miles on motorcycles exploring the road. I have dual degrees in physics and math and a master's degree in nuclear engineering. This has nothing to do with my work it's just a path that I wanted to take. I'm an avid reader when the mood strikes me. I'm a syfi gamer geek when I want to waste time. I haven't owned a TV for 20 years, although, that doesn't mean much any more with the new trends in technology. I was enlisted and later an officer in the military. I have a great job and no debt. I work nights and run three miles every day after work.

I'm driven to make the most out of any situation. I have an optimistic outlook and the self discipline not to be blinded by naivety. I only judge each person as an individual and I tend to trust others until they prove themselves to be undeserving of that trust.

This is more then enough about who I've been, for now. You are free to ask me about any details you might be curious about. Naturally, this is incomplete and I'd be happy to learn about you and your interests and share more about myself with you if that's something you're interested in.

My plan is to retire at a young age in about nine years so that I can sail around the world. My financial stability and proper planning makes this an easy goal for my future. Exploring and enjoying all that I encounter is part of my nature.

So, what am I looking for? ...

Anyone who wants to pursue a relationship should be prepared to share this same level of detail about themselves. Without knowing the person I'm in a relationship with it would be difficult to have the level of trust and understanding needed to care for them and their needs or desires properly. I'd like a D/s or DD/lg relationship. A casual relationship is fine, but if it becomes clear that we are comfortable together then I might suggest a more committed long term relationship. This isn't something anyone should feel obligated to accept unless they are completely comfortable with it when or if the time comes.

Goals for my life include ...

When I retire, as I've said, I'm going to sail the world. I'd like to have someone to share the experience with. Someone who I trust to respect their Captain. A captain can not control the wind, the current or the waves, but a captain must guide their ship and navigate it's course while leading his crew. This, to me, is very similar to the D/s relationship. A captain commands and the crew obeys. This is a relationship governed by trust and mutual respect. I think relationships formed in this community are compatible for anyone who wants to enjoy the experience sailing, diving and exploring ... and continuing any other 'playful' relationship that we may have previously developed.

I'm very self aware, but I'm new to the Cage. Anyone who has any advice or suggestions about how I should go about forming friendships or relationships here would be welcome. Having read several posts on the forum it seems like the people here are like minded and share my love of reason. So, I look forward to meeting others in this community. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

P.S. I'll happily share a photo if someone requests it, but do to the nature of my job I don't want to publicly post a photo until I know who wants it. I've been asked to describe myself, so … I'm 5'11” tall. I weigh 175-180 lbs or about 80 kg. So I'm in good shape. I'm 42 years old and look much younger than my age. I have brown hair and brown eyes. I'm not obsessed with appearances but I do prefer that someone takes care of both there body and their mind. I believe developing both mind and body is important for a healthy active life.
BDSM and me

I've had a Dominant personality in all my relationships throughout my life. It is just natural to me. Even before I understood anything about this lifestyle the relationships that I'd been involved in included spanking, light breath play and other activities that could be 'casually' brought into a vanilla relationship. About eight years ago I was introduced to the lifestyle by a girl that I was dating. At the time I didn't really understand it and we broke up. Since then I've learned as much as I can about the lifestyle and I no longer feel comfortable with just a vanilla relationship. That being said, I'm not your Dom if we've never had a conversation before. Don't expect me to act like I am unless we've discussed and agreed upon what that relationship will involve.

Most of my career choices have been things that naturally put me in a position to guide, train, protect and care for others ... So I have a tendency to fit into a Caregiver role pretty easily. Relationships that have meaning beyond just play are much more fulfilling to me. If I can help someone through guidance and discipline to reach goals and achieve there desires it is more of rewarding experience. For this to work it is important to have someone who is willing to speak up and tell me about the things they desire and want to explore/discuss/try out or just in general want to accomplish in life, so long as they pick an appropriate and respectful time to do so.

On a fundamental level, I want to find someone that can express trust through obedience. It is a wonderful experience for me to feel respected that way. To know you have earned someones trust enough for them to desire pleasing you in that way might be the most rewarding experience for me.

As far as being turned on in a purely sexual sense, that can come from a verity of ways beyond feeling trust and respect. For example, seeing a woman in a position of distress and looking at me longingly, both to keep her under my control and to be set free by giving into obedience toward me, can be a remarkable feeling for me. So it is nice to find someone that enjoys having another directly control their body in a completely physical way. These experiences don't have to be all the time and can be tied to rewards or punishment if that is something they desire or it can be something completely separated and used only as a type of play. Certainly, someone wanting this from me would be perfectly fine also wanting any sort of aftercare or comfort. Some types of situations can create physical or mental stress even if they are desirable and I wouldn't want to leave that stress lingering in a relationship.

I have a tendency to want to both give support and guidance in a Caregiver sense, but also to lead and and Dominate in a sexual fulfillment role. So, I'm looking for D/s or DD/lg dynamic. I'm open minded and free spirited. So a long discussion about what you need/desire of me would be welcome and it will not be met with any judgment. I will happily share my desires and experience with you to see if we have compatible interests.

Nothing illegal
What's new

I'm enjoying the blogs and forum posts on the Cage. There's a lot of great material to be found and I appreciate the time that everyone has put into creating this content.

Update date
Saturday, April 20, 2019
Member since
Sunday, August 26, 2018
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