OpenDom

dom male

I'm imaginative, intelligent, attentive, experienced... Professionally and personally involved in the arts, music, philosophy and linguistics. I'm 57 years old, never-married, and childless. I am open to communication with female subs of any age and experience for friendship, discussion on a range of topics, and possibly a d/s relationhip. 

I'm not looking for hook-ups or anything casual; I expect and offer multidimensional intimacy, and am committed to taking the time to build the necessary familiarity and trust needed to bond intellectually, psychologically, spiritually and sexually. I'd like to start online but only if your ultimate aim is some kind of face-to-face LTR. It need not be a 24/7 arrangement. I am willing to travel and/or relocate under the right conditions.

I have no time for liars, prevaricators, the unreflective, or anyone involved in a committed domestic relationship. I've been on both sides of "discreet relationships", and I'd rather get root canal surgery.

I promise to be honest at all times and give full attention to you, your interests, concerns and situation. Indeed, honesty and attention are the basis of my approach to any relationship (whether romantic, congenial, or professional). 

On the surface, the Dom disciplines the sub, but ultimately, it is the sub who disciplines the Dom. When I restrain you and spend an hour taking you to the edge of orgasm and then finally push you into a succession of unrelenting and forced orgasms, where is my attention? Where is yours?

Although the Dom dominates, in giving his complete attention to his sub, he is ultimately her servant. He objectifies her, but he also pedestalizes her. I understand the value of a sub's submission, and will treat it with the care and respect it deserves. When  you give yourself to me, you are freed to experience pleasure without having to think about pleasing anyone. I, on the other hand, am too busy manipulating her pleasure to pay attention to my own. My task is to free you to bathe in your own pleasure, offer you physical, psychological and spiritual safety, and validate your being. Every time you surrender to me, I am filled with the tenderest adoration (when I say adoration, I do so using a definition which encompasses its most fundamentally religious sense). By catalyzing your apotheosis, I become whole. 

As a rhetorical corrolary, it may be of interest to note that I prefer to write d/S to D/s.

I crave a sub with whom I can share every aspect of life, not just the sexual aspects. I want to offer a place of engagement, protection, healing and growth, and I am ready to offer everything needed to achieve that goal - assuming that it is my sub's goal as well. If it isn't, then it's best for her to find a different dom.

That said, no pain, no gain. I am certainly willing and able to use physical pain, but in general I prefer to use positive reinforcement: trust and fear are antithetical, and without trust, where is surrender? 

 == Results from bdsmtest.org == 

100% Brat tamer 

100% Dominant 

100% Rigger 

100% Daddy/Mommy 

98% Master/Mistress 

94% Degrader 

93% Owner 

87% Experimentalist 

75% Sadist 

74% Non-monogamist 

74% Voyeur 

70% Ageplayer 

69% Primal (Hunter) 

58% Exhibitionist 

42% Vanilla 

1% Switch 

Unnecessary cruelty
Pointless mindfucks
Gaslighting
Abuse
Anything illegal
Scat/exposure to potential infection
Anything harmful to others (regardless of the nature of who they are or the nature of our relationship)

I will offer the same in return.

Call me old-fashioned, but the dungeon door proclaims:

Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate.

Carved in ebony, picked out in abalone.