I am a 5'5" tall natural redhead who is recently divorced after 16 years. I was a SAHM (Stay-at-home-mom) for the majority of that time.
Currently, I am enrolled in continuing education classes which will certify me to work as a Sterile Processing Technician with hopes of moving on from there to become a Surgical Technologist.
My life has not been easy. For those who know what they are, I have quite a few ACE's but over time, have come to learn how to change past patterns to handle the in a healthy manner. You just have to have the courage to face the darkness within.
"There's nothing in the dark that's not there in the light."-Frank Burns
Before you even ask, I do NOT give out my email address NOR will I communicate off-site until *I* am ready.
Please, do me a favor, don't call me 'pet names' in the first message. Its an irritant. I'm not your ***** (fill in the blank) so do NOT take that liberty. Also, if you claim to have an education, kindly show it. Talking in text speak will get you blocked faster than a kid gets the sniffles. The human brain is a marvelous organ...USE IT!
I call myself an "Intelligent Brat" because I don't do glitter nor do I play those minuscule tricks that I've read that other brats do. My inner brat gets triggered when my Dom needs to be put back into his Dom frame-of-mind. I will challenge him. I will laugh at his frustration at a world that isn't cooperating, or I will delay my response time. One caveat....I am not above sticking my tongue out at him.
I also call him out on his shit when he isn't fulfilling his duties. Idealy, My Sir has a military history which has trained him to take command. I use my Brat to help him through the tough times when the world is not listening. Once his dominance is directed (safetly) back at me, I purr like a kitten.
I have never been active in the community before but have explored kink in vanilla relationships. (Well, I thought it was kinky vanilla but I may have primal tendencies) and discovered that it has some very therapeutic uses.
I am used to being a MilSo, which allows me to understand his background easily and compensate for the rough edges, so long as we have frank, open communication. There is no need to hide anything from me.
So I FINALLY took my BDSM test....still kinda taking it all in because where some things are ranked, it's kinda surprising.
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
100% Rope bunny
75% Primal (Prey)
8% Primal (Hunter)
7% Brat tamer
Wooden spoons, rulers, belts and hairbrushes during impact play. Electro-sex, needles (if I want a needle, I'll goto a tattoo parlor, NOT the bedroom), cutting, tails, age-play, minors, multiple partners. I. DO. NOT. SHARE!
Ask, and you MAY receive, however, no means no. If you push me on it or continue to ask, I walk....end of story.
I have experienced my first Sens-dep and I am thrilled with the results! Yes please!!
Sir needs me to learn calligraphy so....I bought my first set today. I diggin' it and I find it quite meditative. I've spent the last several hours practicing and it feels like just a few minutes. Where'd the sun go?
A sad day for me. For my own safety, I've had to break things off with my Dom. He got drunk and got abusive. Choke hold, strangulation, attempted rape.
I'm still raw.
I discovered that Sir is in the hospital. He went in Sunday night agter not only being kicked out of where he was living but his roommates put a restraining order out on him. He was transported via ambulance at the insistence of the police.
It is taking EVERYTHING I have not to go visiting him. I did speak to him via phone last night and I will be calling him again. He has nothing with him. No phone, no IDs...nothing. Not even his watch or his Ranger pin.
I am so torn.
It's been a long, hrs road but Sir and I are once again a couple. For the late 110 days or so, he has been in an alcohol treatment program and is now living at a sober half-way house. We have not see each other (face to face) once during this time. He is now even further away. Yet, we talk on the phone multiple times a day and have used this time to get to know each other OUTSIDE the bedroom. We have both grown during that time, separately, but supported each other as best as we could.
I think I need to change my name again....back to SirsBabydoll...
Well, THAT worked out..... :/
SEE BLOG ENTRIES:
'Oh HELLS Nah! Homey don't play that!'
'I know why the caged bird sings'
Wednesday, October 30, 2019