I'm a 23 yo male, and I'm new to BDSM. I'm very interested and curious in this because for a good part of my life anything sexual has been completely repressed by my family, and so now I really want to explore this with someone I feel safe with and have fun. I had some sadness early as a child, but I took it out on guitar, and so now I'm really good at that if you like that kind of stuff lol. I did upto state level competitive classical guitar and qualified for national level tournaments (but then stopped competing because it is too stressful lol), and electric in a broad range of styles, from baroque era, through flamenco, romantic period, and modern era rock, prog, blues, and metal in bands (never jazz lol it's too complicated). I like music because it helps to express all kinds of emotions from raw visceral ones, to subtle, gentle, soft, or melancholic, or sad feelings; and I feel like it helps build mental tenacity because I'm super untalented lol, so I fought really hard to get it. I like these people among many many others:
I do a lot of photography of nature and architecture and I did an architecture degree at an art college. Before that I tried to join the air-force lmao because I love love love Su-30MKI so so much but I never stood a chance and failed almost instantly lol because I don't really have that military type of mindset (but I really like that), or the right skill set, or physical/mental strength so I just like to imagine I know how to do it lol and I love aviation and that specific plane a lot. "If you can't join them, don't beat them, just pretend like you joined them anyway" lol. Also I feel I would be the worst fighter pilot because I just want to fly around really fast and low, but I don't like to bomb people. Maybe one day far far away in the future I definitely want to get a PPL with IFR and night rating on ME aircraft (I basically want to be able to fly myself long distance wherever and whenever).
Right now though I work with a fantastic team, and we're trying to set up an FMCG business, to make seaweed into a viable consumer product. My goal outside is, from my venture (assuming that it even gets off the ground lol) to take a portion of the money generated and funnel that into underprivileged primary school education in Asia because I strongly feel that will have the largest impact, and I really like children (Not in a sexual way wtf) but I have no idea if that will work lol. Also I like scuba diving, surfing and my sister is into marine ecology research, so I hear a lot about that as well. So I guess outside of here I'm super ambitious, driven and laser focused on becoming incrementally better than I was yesterday, and eventually leaving my past behind.
From in here I'm looking for something physical as a dom or sub while still letting me grow as a person at my own pace. I'm ESL, and I speak 6 languages total, and I may come off as rude, and I truly apologies for that, I don't mean any malice to anyone. I come from a repressed Asian background, so I'm happy to meet anyone who isn't going to try to rob me or something like that.
I'm really not sure what I like as I'm new, but I feel like I'm probably a sub but that will probably change as I understand myself better. I absolutely am attracted to a strong female, I had some awfully nasty experiences early on as a child, and my parents were bad to me and each other, and I was bullied and yelled at a lot in school, and so I was really really sad for a long time after that, but then some incredibly strong woman came from nowhere and held me a lot, and talked to me a lot, and helped me feel good about myself and pulled me out of some sadness, and so now I'm really very attracted to strong women. Also I still carry some pain emotionally, but I have a great therapist, so it's really not too bad lol, I just get hurt easily because I haven't fully processed my lousy childhood yet lol, so I cannot deal with humiliation because my heart hurts, but I also really want to experiment with the weird stuff (I think I'm a hedonist???) with someone if we connect.
I don't like anything extreme that involves blood, scat, feet, or animals or children or anything illegal. I'm definitely interested in experimenting with someone I trust and feel good with, I really like the intense stuff but unfortunately I have very severe trust issues.