Jigsaw's Playhouse

This last week it was brought to my attention that I had been doxxed. My daughter's mom in her own stupidity and small mindedness decided to tell my daughter that I was controlling, abusive and just some really terrible things. The funny thing is that when I try to do good, it often bites me in the ass. 

She described my last relationship to her. 

Rewind first. A couple of years ago, her best friends, daddy, husband and Dom passed. She said she wasn't eating, wouldn't leave the house and was full of ao much grief and mourning that she was worried.Now, anyone who knows me, knows I will always try to educate those about the ls. I explain my current dynamic at the time. Schedules, taking care of oneself, motivation and also som of the sadist side of me. 

Fastward forward to this past week. That's when I was told even thought this happened weeks ago. The conversation I guess made it a non issue and put my kid's mind to rest. 

Someone who is a big part of me and that I have cared about for years and may always.... Got in contact with me. My daughter and her remain friends even though we have parted ways. She explained to me what was said. That my daughter was told everything. My daughter was told so many incorrect and down right fucked up things about me. 

Her mother expressed that she was worried I was keeping her from seeing her and her family. That I was like that in my relationship. 

Welp. Again. She didn't come to me. The conversation was brought up at a lunch with my former sub.

The thing that really made me feel good. My daughter (who is almost guaranteed a sub) was able to hear from the person I spent the longest in any dynamic with about me in the lifestyle. I guess in ways it did work out. She has an understanding from someone who I've seen as precious to me for many years. Some who knows me better than anyone will ever know me, in and out of the lifestyle. She was told about the care, compassion, the way I always did what I could to better her and always always was present when she needed. 

I talked with my kiddo a couple days after. She pretty much told me that the way it was explained, it makes sense. That it's just me and even the way I treat her and handle the house, is the same. 

Guess this is kind of a vent, but honestly it just made me feel pissed but after a few days to think on it, I guess if it was going to happen, this was a good way to. 

My friends know I always thought my daughter saw me as this kind gentle guy who would never ...

Well I guess that's who I actually am lol....jkjkjk I already knew that, but it made me feel good to know that she got this from someone who has been in my control and knows what I stand for as a Dom

 

Thank you to the universe and for the guidance I've received from my friends here and those I learned the fundamentals from. And thank you to the one that cleared it up and made sure that my kid knew what her dad truly was all about.  That conversation put her in a place that she truly understands me and what I stand for from someone that her mom was directly talking about. Guess I am always right when I say she's the one that got away. Some people in our lives touch us and help us, even when they don't have too. Those are the ones that are truly special. 

So over the last few days I've taken some time to just chill and do some normal things around the home. I baked a cheesecake pie. while I love cheesecake, I've never taken the time to actually make one. No no bake here. I actually took the time to make one from scratch. It felt good to just relax and listen to my book (4th wing) and did something for just me. No wondering who would like it or if it was healthy.  Don't get me wrong I did over 14k steps each day following to earn the parts of it I did eat before eventually throwing it out. It made me think about certain choices and things I've done over the past two years. How I've been so wrapped up in what goals I set for others, that I didn't take the time to just do for me. I relaxed over the last couple of days outside of working out which is something else that I do enjoy doing but after so long not doing it, it hurt lol

 I think often times when we enter in dynamics and don't lay things out in a way that are 100% clear we can lose sight of ourselves and what we need or want as well. Yes the relationship is amazing,but will quickly suffer and end if you don't do for you. Balance is something I've been warned of so many times by mentors and friends. It is something that you need to have and should be laid into any dynamic. You can put so much time and effort that you can suffocate the one that you are with. Make it where they don't know anything but you, and you them.

All this from a simple cheesecake. 

Well the challenge has been issued. Let's do it ladies and gentleman. My contribution....... the pics I was willing to share anyway and also my outfit for the chill NYE get together.

So, at the request and suggestion of a woman, I decided to participate. Albeit a tiny bit late, but hey the challenge was Lady in Red, and let's see... nope not a lady. ?

Just dressed for nice evening a few months ago! Miss the hawk, mihht make a cameo soon!!!