Jigsaw's Playhouse

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=E49T3rdx2Bc&si=blvRDjHW0XDv7yHw

Morning vibes. This really hits so hard 👿 

We all have had or have that person in our lives. These song describes just how much you will do for thos you love and care about.

So I've talked to a couple of friends over the last week or so and during this past week at an festival of fetish I attended this last week. 

I was asked a couple of times how it was and how did I feel about the experience.

I can say that the dungeon experience was something that was a bit overwhelming the first evening. It was so many different style of play and so many people. So so so many people. Normally I'm the type that can walk into a munch or a social gathering and I will meet everyone. I enjoy getting to know people and their journeys. As Ive considered myself green before attending, I now realized that I've not even skimmed the surface of what I want to learn about. Now don't get me wrong, I have had some of the most amazing experiences, some of which will remain with me for the rest of my life. Things that have taught me and shown me that I know somewhat who I am. After this weekend, I realized that this journey is going to be a lot more. 

I watched the different styles and seen some toys that I have and haven't used yet, being used in ways that I wouldn't have thought of. Way to inflict more deliciousness. I learned to finally throw a whip and felt so good in starting. Long road there but one I am confident now I will accomplish. 

Before the event I wanted to learn more about suspension. It is something that I've always wanted to learn but was so in my head about it. The worries about the dangers just got me where I was concerned if it was something I would accomplish. In talking and classes on it, I've learned that it is not only something I am more excited to learn about, but that it isn't as much as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, I won't be putting someone in the air solo in a scene anytime soon, but the things that had been holding that back in my head are gone. 

The biggest growth for me was inside. The learning of things in a D/s dynamics. It made me take a long hard look at myself and my past in this realm. Made me see the things that I have done wrong. The ways I had reacted and that there is always a better way to handle it. The way I would often turn to emotional or end of the world scenarios in a dynamic and not being open enough to listen, take in and properly guide the dynamic to the place desired. It made me realize that while we can title ourselves or call ourselves Sir,Dom Daddy etc... that we have to live it. With someone or not. We are who we are and when we enter into a dynamic we need to be consistent and not change ourselves. That yes we should encourage our subs to have friends outside of our dynamic and not alienate them from there's, which I've never done, BUT we also have to ensure that we are taking that time to ourselves. Allowing ourselves to be involved with people of similar interests, different interests and that have or are living the lifestyle and dynamics in their own way. I've often cut myself off with friends and put all of me into my dynamic. While it seemed right, I can also see that it changed me and who I was from the start and became the ultimate ending. 

Overall I can say it was an experience that completely filled me with so much to grow and learn from and did make me a better person from just being there. 

So over the last few days I've taken some time to just chill and do some normal things around the home. I baked a cheesecake pie. while I love cheesecake, I've never taken the time to actually make one. No no bake here. I actually took the time to make one from scratch. It felt good to just relax and listen to my book (4th wing) and did something for just me. No wondering who would like it or if it was healthy.  Don't get me wrong I did over 14k steps each day following to earn the parts of it I did eat before eventually throwing it out. It made me think about certain choices and things I've done over the past two years. How I've been so wrapped up in what goals I set for others, that I didn't take the time to just do for me. I relaxed over the last couple of days outside of working out which is something else that I do enjoy doing but after so long not doing it, it hurt lol

 I think often times when we enter in dynamics and don't lay things out in a way that are 100% clear we can lose sight of ourselves and what we need or want as well. Yes the relationship is amazing,but will quickly suffer and end if you don't do for you. Balance is something I've been warned of so many times by mentors and friends. It is something that you need to have and should be laid into any dynamic. You can put so much time and effort that you can suffocate the one that you are with. Make it where they don't know anything but you, and you them.

All this from a simple cheesecake. 

A great song

The original

A great concert

I actually love this so much

3 wishes. 

1. I would like to have one more dinner with my mom and he able to say goodbye b

2. 1 mulligan for 7/21/2023 to redo that entire day

3. I would like to be able to ensure happiness and an easy life my child. 

Any man can tell her she is beautiful.

You can see it in her face,

her curves those eyes,

that smile.

Any one can see that and tell her she is a knock out, hot or really sexy.

But when  I tell  little one she is beautiful

It comes from a different place.

Somewhere deeper.... so much deeper

It isnt just directed at the skin deep.

Its to her heart

her soul

her everything that captivates me.

And all of those things have made it so easy to feel what I do about her.

The way that she and only her can bring me to a standstill

Stop the rage and pain I feel inside.

Calm my head and make me feel so very good.

With just a good morning Daddy.

The way she can bring out the real smile and not the one I use to make the world think its all ok.

she is the only one that knows when I am down or upset, even before I know sometimes.

So when I tell you that you are beautiful

I mean it in the way no one else will ever see you..... the way I get to.

The complete you.

Magical beasts do exist, and thank you for reminding me of that each day I have you.

So I was asked by someone last night for a bedtime story. It is a platonic friendship and now that I am attempting to embrace the Daddy side of me... I actually gave it a shot lol. So I thought I would share.  Please mind you, I literally wrote this and sent it as is lol. 

 
So once upon a time there was a girl. The girl would often go into the woods. She loved the way the trees and the dew smelled. The way that things seemed to make her feel calm and at peace. She would often escape during time of emotional need. People in the town would often wonder why she felt that that was the only place that she could find peace and calm. One day they followed her to the Forrest and were terrified of the sight they saw. The girl was wrapped in the paws of a wolf. They began to worry for her safety and tried to intervene. Much to their surprise she came to the aid of her wolf. Shielding qnd protecting him while he fought for her. They showed that even the most misunderstood things in life can be beautiful to the ones involved.

Some people see me. They look at this guy. Middle aged ... so so looking. Almost always smiling and happy. Always outgoing and surrounded by so many friends. That was the impression I showed but was truly just the way I had coped. I felt so alone for so long in a crowded room of people that truly cared and called me their friend. 

Now I will say this.. the people that I have as friends are amazing both on and off of here. They have always been there and I am lucky to have them. 

But honestly. All I ever wanted was to find the one. That one person I can take that fake smile off for. 

The one that I can get it out with.

The one that I don't feel like I have to always fake the smile..... because she is the smile. The one that I am content just being at home alone. Knowing our time is soon to come. Someone to miss spending time with. Having those times together. 

Idk the feeling of being wanted and feeling that you're worth fighting for. That she knows you got her and wants you to know the same. I just want chill and peace and to be able to take over everything with her and I. Show her to the world and keep her to myself. Funny how that works. Sometimes you got it all and don't even know it.

Faces we wear. The smile is here and no one knows the difference. 😉

How is it with one simply comment or reply
That she can create such a divide
The wall that I have so securely built
Falls, releasing the true me within
The truth i keep hidden
The one that most would ever  believe
That could hide in someone
Like me
The carefree and giddy
The chill and the mellow
The nice guy
That stoned dude with his head in the sky
The darkness that no one sees
The pain
The rage
That makes such beautiful things
How I can go from 0-him
With just a look
A smell
A touch
A sound
So how is it
She can see the same beauty
That I see
My marks, her bruises
One in the same
The feeling of rage
And the heat of my pain
My touch like sandpaper
Drives her insane
So how is it
She sees
So much beauty in all of me