Introverted me can be quite complicated sometimes. And I never know when she will pop in to say hello.
At work I have fun and joke around with my staff and managers. Yet at the same token I can push away friends who mean a great deal to me, simply because I need some space. Some me time. And I guess if I dont acheive that space then I start to kick till I become annoying and you leave me alone. Im not sure why I become so defensive especially to those who are close to me. And I don't know what causes it, I wish I did. I wish I could see when the dark clouds where crossing over so I could put out a storm warning. Im not a bitch. Im not a horrible person or really thay complicated. I just need my space......... I start to feel that I am relying on a friendship too much so I step back....... I become clingy so I step back.......... They become too attached so I step back.......... I just hope that when I find my "one" there is no need to run or shelter from the storm. I hope I dont push him away like I do the others. The lonelier I become the more I push. Its stupid really. I feel down or in a quiet mood yet inside I'm screaming for attention. But my actions speak opposite. I have no excuse or reason for my bratty behavior. It is not a joyful experience for me. So I stay in my place till I feel it subside and see who hung around waiting for me to come out. To see who understood me.