Today I realized I am a Switch.
O god I feel so free and light like a transformation is taking place in my psyche. Haveing a space to admit my true nature has allowed me to sheed alot of barriers that I've placed myself in.
For a while now I have had the urge to submit to a women but everytime I was interested I was not able to find someone who knew how to properly capture my mind in the way I desired. Their was also an unfortunate encounter with a past lover that was not ok.
Up to this point Id yet to meet any dominant male or female that shared my views on role responsibilities. Everywhere I read there was degradation, and pegging which seemed very physically possession based. I am in my nature truly stimulated by intellect. We have to meet each other on an intellectual level that is diverse.
Im not sure why I attracted so many women who had just the poorest approach to me. Very much lead and clear with the assumption that because I am man all I need is to be physically satisfied and it will be enough. Everytime it was a let down. I sometimes miss the days when I could just enjoy a women's company but increasingly these days I am left dissatisfied by the lack on stimulating conversation they are able to provide.
Until today. I was graced by the words of three goddesses and my insides lit up increasingly as I read through their comments on my blog and read their own blogs. I could feel myself compelled to refer to them as mistress as I responded to their posts and reached out to them through personal message. Not because they have earned that title but because I was releasing a new energy within myself.
They are individually unique and special women in their own right but ultimately what I was showed was the capacity for dominance that was not based in physical submission or humiliation but the genuine care and tender nurturing I had so longed for.
I have longed to kneel at the alter of high Femanine beauty and receive that soft loving into my life. I wish now to find a mistress that invigorates me on an intellectual level and is deserving of me to submit to her.