Merry Christmas to all!!!!
This platform has been a big deal for me this year and allowed me to process some deep barriers by having a place to be truthful.
Life is a lot more centered around myself which has allowed me to recover some lost parts of me. Most of my days are just work, eat, gym and rest. I don't hang out with friends and I don't travel.
I have a goal In my mind for the next 7 years and having something productive to really revolve around has been really healthy for me. I've still got some bad habits to break that gets me in my own way but I'm stringing together some productive ways to process them.
Talking with a friend on my birth I learned of the term trauma response. And looking back most of my decision making and existence comes from the survival portion of my brain. I get a little cortazone each time I react to the world around me and then wonder why I'm so stressed at the end of the day.
I can't run from the world cause I would actually just end up killing myself but I can be disciplined and retrain my brain with enough time and patience. It's lead to a healthy life of less.
My soul still longs for that connection with a female.