I have lost over 50 pounds in roughly 4-5 months I have been training as hard as I humanly can since I want to be a taekwondo champion. I am at a gym that has one of the coaches for team USA and he's not dicking around this year he sent 11 of the 40 Americans who qualified for worlds from his gym. Additionally a couple of people who made it come from a few states away to train with him.
Last night as i was doing a double class for the second time this week which is 3-4 hours of brutal Olympic level training. He introduced a new technique to me that I never tried he didn't explain it or let me practice he had tied a strap to my belt and had someone hold it and tug on it to work the explosiveness.
Since it was a totally new sensation I was having difficulty with the constant force pulling me off balance while I was doing the technique. As I struggled he came right next to me and started screaming go fast faster god damn your doing it wrong. I then said sorry I never did this before its really hard.
Then he truned away saying no I'm sorry and walked away.
Then he didn't talk to me for the rest of class.
I knew he isn't a fan of "back talk" but I figured this wasn't that I was trying to explain why it was so hard to do.
He then said he didn't want to talk to me that I am totally uncoachable and I lost the right to call him coach that he has lost his faith in me that as soon as he put some faith in me I couldn't handle the added pressure because I'm a child and i need to grow up.
It was devastating even now I'm crying I have for Months given pretty much all my free time. My diet, my exercise regimen, my breathing, my training my constant listening to his berating me for months on end and one sentence of explaining my struggle and hes willing to just throw me away as if none of what I been able to achived mattered.
I have never been treated to such an indignity he knows everyday I give it my best. Infact the whole point of why this even happened is I am starting to double up classes I went from 4 hours of weekly instruction of him to 9 and that much has been hard for me, barely doable but I was surviving my hope was the stressing would get easier as my body adapted.
Yet now he's turned his back on me, this is on top of a good friend killing themselves in my home no less, and having my school all up in my face about how I am not processing my grief properly because apparently me demanding to do my work and let me be the student I am capable of is incorrect.
If this wasn't all one of my best friends mothers just died literally yesterday and I have had to do my best to council them. God I have tried so fucking hard and I have seen the improvement under his coaching but one mishap and he comes down on me with a righteous anger.
I have never in my wildest dreams thought a human being could ride me so hard that with a sentence they could tare me apart. I know its because of how emotional I am during this time. My ex Coach has got to be the hardest person I have ever met. I just thought we had reached a new level of teamwork and the second I do something he doesn't like he rips the rug out from under me and makes me feel absolutely dogshit. No opportunity for corrective action now I'm stuck begging for him to coach me again.
Some have said already why do I take this or there's gotta be other coaches. I disagree he makes champions I gotta believe if he gives me another opportunity I will be even more prepared and go further. No human I have met has challenged me and pushed me as hard as this individual it's gotta mean something. Months of blood sweat and tears now I'm only more committed going forward to bring it even harder don't know where I will find it but I'm gonna dig a little deeper.
