Ice Girl's public thoughts.

MCCheer​(sub female) - Reading your blog posts, I just want to give you great big hugs. I can empathize with far too much of what you write. Virtual hugs, and they're always available.

IceGirl​(switch female) - I think all people who have faced isolation rejection self doubt can identify. I was watching an interview recently where Andre 3000 was being asked why he hasn't made art in so long and he said paraphrased what do I have to talk about complaining about having to wait so long to do my colonoscopy.

The fact is emotional difficulties can face anyone and when an individual like us feels the weight we have to express it.

For me as you noticed I have decided to write about it. This for me has served two ends one I am planning to write my life story one-day and this is a way to get comfortable sharing my life with the great unknown, secondly I am hurting and this is a relief valve. When I bring out poetry or song you know I am hurting really badly because that means I can't even talk about it in standard prose.

Today was the wake of my friend who committed suicide in my house. He came to live with me because his family didn't support his transition. Additionally the current person I have been dating is having a communication breakdown with me she the other day told me she never wants to have a house or settle anywhere. So dreams for a relationship: marriage shes undecided, child she currently a no go, owning a house a no go and now even the concept of having roots is not on the table. I was like maybe we should be friends since you clearly don't want what I want outta a long term relationship well that's caused great difficulty, the fact holidays are coming and its like what do I have to celebrate the no one in ny life that gives a shit if I wasn't here tomorrow.

You know people wonder why or how individuals could just give up on life and for me it's like do they not see how hard it is sometimes to just breathe?

For me what keeps me going is working towards my dreams and knowing each day I save peoples lives if I didn't show up to work for instance who knows how those 6-8 patients (on average) I am going to help today would get what they need.

Yet in my private life I sorta just play with my dog and cry inside wondering when the next time I can be useful at all is.

I appreciate you taking the time to write it's sweet of you as you can see you stand alone.

Hugs.

MCCheer​(sub female) - I always read even if I don't respond. And so much touches me in the personal and professional realms.
It sucks that so much of this is going on at the holidays. I'm so very sorry about the loss of your friend. And I get the how hard it is to just breathe comment? But everyone has someone that will miss them. We impact the people around sometimes completely unaware.

IceGirl​(switch female) - U doubt it in my case and that's ok when you go to a grave most the headstones have no one come for them me I won't even have that like an ant that is missing from the colony some might wonder for a moment but quickly moved on from drones don't matter.

Hey it's ok no comments required or requested just noting that in my life the fact you took the time already made you quite special.

decadentEssence​(sub female) - Damn, that hits!! You have a talent with words IceGirl, sending loveee and kisses and cuddles to you ❤️❤️🤗🤗😘

MCCheer​(sub female) - I've told my children to cremate me, go off in the woods somewhere and release my ashes into the wind. Don't waste your money on a tombstone and grave no one will go to.

I'm almost always around if you ever want to chat. I will always make time to listen.