Wall-E the fictional character I am🌹
Someone close to me once asked me what kind of porn I am into.
Since I am a demisexual I need a strong bond for attraction.
I don't find porn simulating.
People have said wathcing me masturbate is painful because It is such a struggle for me to be aroused.
Without love without intimacy there is no stimulation at all (the brain really is the biggest sex organ) So when they asked that question my mind went to one of the things that engaged my heart and got me excited it was the scene where Wall-E and EVE go dancing in space.
You can see it on YouTube called define dancing.
When I played that clip I got into a Wall-E shirt and threw on the sweater jacket I got and went over and said Wall-E.
I am pretty good at that impression I been working on it for years.
Why do I identify so strongly with Wall-E.
I never have never for a second let the toil and pain of life stop me from my goals.
The ultimate goal has always been to be an advocate for trans and Intersex healthcare to make things better for others because in my experience this area is improperly served.
I want to spare others the pain I have felt at the hands of my family and medical providers by not just being a caregiver but being an outspoken advocate who works on changing the system for the better.
Yet having a purpose doesn't fill the void of wanting love and emotional connection.
Having a mission is like anything else it's a job we do but like a job it doesn't always fill all needs.
A need for me has always been love, the lack of it being an orphan, of feeling horrible n rejected from my peers because of my hard to define intersex body, my own disgust and initial confusion when my puberty revealed I am female internally, my disappointment that my naked honesty to others is often chastised after years of being told to shut up be ashamed and speak nothing.
I always felt that me being myself just isn't wanted isn't possible to be loved. People keep telling me how to change to be better, or perhaps if I did this or that things could be better off.
No it wouldn't, I am me being myself I don't want to be anyone else.
I believe who we are is the ultimate magnum opus. Every action every breath we take like water flows from us and through us.
If you have interacted with me even for a moment I hope you got a chance to experience who I am and how genuine and sincere my words are.
I will continue as Wall-E to work endlessly if I have to until kingdom come because that is the mission.
But that doesn't mean I don't also have an intense love the likes of which few have ever experienced.
No matter how many times people sneer at my earnest beliefs and try to tell me who I am.
I will continue my defiance not because I am in conflict with them but because I know myself and will continue to be myself.
I hope you can grow to appreciate me for that.
Wall-E