Last night I was crying, reminded that my body hates me. (Stabbing pain n blood)
The loaded feelings of gender dysphoria strike during my monthly, on how wrong it feels. Bargaining to the heavens that I am a genetic male why do I even have this. 😭
Of course I know why, I have Swyers syndrome and Androgen Insensitivey - conditions that gave me this body.
At one point when I was crippled over in pain my girlfriend sent me to bed.
I don't wanna let my body define me, not to mention I would rather be in denial.
She proposed an odd notion to me " you're in pain why do you gender it and upset yourself?"
Divorcing gender issues from the pain would help my peace of mind.
So much of our society defines us by biology I welcome full gender n sex emancipation.
If I could stop relating this pain to gender the emotional and psychological components would improved.