Ice Girl's public thoughts.

I started writing many of my thoughts for a reason.

My two big plans / goals in life were to get into medical school and write my life story because I believe beith everything I have gone through it could help inspire and support other queer people especially trans (even though I am not trans) and intersex people about how just being given a raw start you can achieve great things.

Also I think as an orphan with only one biological relative that even talks to me a part of it is wanting to exist in the world in some ways.

There is the argument of the three deaths. The first is when die the second is when the last person says your name and the final one is when the good you have done in the world turns to dust.

The goal was that by living a grand life and contributing as hard as I could to change the world for the better maybe I could leave an impression on this earth.

I feel with so few Intersex leaders and icons that as someone intelligent and talented it's also kinda my duty to attempt this.

So writing my life thoughts and experiences I hope will help me in this process it is also getting me comfortable with the idea of people getting to know me in an intimate way since what autobiography about my life won't talk about the physical sexual medical and emotional abuse I have been through.

It will be odd one day if someone is coming to see me for treatment as a medical provider and are like hey i read your book so how did you get over the sexual assault n such?

My answer until this very moment I didn't have one but I finally put together something reasonable: your aware of how alcoholics say they are always an alcoholic well in a similar way a sexual abuse survivor is always a survivor the event forever changed my relationship to my body and men. The thing is I leaned with time to not hate all men for the action of a couple in my life just like not all of any group are at fault for the whole.

This took time maturity and lots of work in myself plus learning to gain an appreciation for the good men in my life and realize it was so unfair to treat them poorly because I was scared and hurting.

That's the answer I would give today to a question like that. Hopefully it will continue to refine and grow as I continue to get stronger everyday.